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zoë

@strandedselkie.bsky.social
116 followers 88 following 807 posts

pinko leftist autistic weirdo, mother to 1 human and servant to 1 cat. she/her

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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
the thing that gets me about Macklemore is that it would have been so easy for him to do a "your criticisms have made me go anti woke" grift after everyone made fun of him for being too earnest and cringe about being an lgbt+ ally and anti-racist but he didn't, he's still here, good for him
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MurderBotBot @murderbotbot.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I didn’t want to look more human than I already did.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
There are so many stupid fandom tattoos I'd get if JKR hadn't let me down so dramatically and given me trust issues that veer into magical thinking, yet I am still seriously considering Dune inspired ones despite getting so mad at God Emperor of Dune I rage quit and never touched it again
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Plus “I was so in love with you I straight up don’t have my own identity then you fell in love with someone else and died and oh great here’s your kid”
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Toddler does not want to go to the supermarket, she wants to go on, and I quote, "adventure". We asked her what she wants to do and she said she wanted to go "anywhere" and "oranges, apples, aubergines and pears" but still insists she does not want to go to the supermarket, a place with those things
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the TERRIBLE EGG @wryterra.com · 26/07/2026
As kiddo and I were drumming on plastic cakes with wooden mushrooms Her: like a drum! Me: it is like a drum Her: like a piano Me: is it like a piano? Her: like a trumpet! Me: like a trumpet? Her: like a duck! Me (losing it): like a duck? Her (with absolute sincerity): ducks make noise too
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The Ronettes Pickering @stoatie.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
People who keep pointing out that golf courses use as much water as data centres as some sort of defence of data centres drastically underestimate the amount we also hate golf.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I need to re-read Sisters of the Vast Black
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Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
"I use chatgpt as a search engine" "I use minesweeper as a website browser" "I use the lego pirate ship when I want to boil an egg"
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Joseph Fink, we're going to win @planetoffinks.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
"but kids are annoying" yeah, so are you, but hopefully people are being polite about it
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Same, i love weird little dolls generally though
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the TERRIBLE EGG @wryterra.com · 18/07/2026
I have been waiting eagerly for the era of the kiddo giving names to things. It has begun and quite wonderfully so! Meet “George”.
“George”, which is the name given to the pictured plush doll of Harley Quinn, a woman in a black and red jester outfit holding a hammer.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
It’s not slander, he is a stinky man
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Saw a sticker that said “English pigs out” in Gaelic on a lamppost and I am genuinely a bit sad about it, fragile sassenach that I am. Despite probably knowing more Gaelic than most Scots (I can sing many toddler rhymes)
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Thanks to the mothcub one I have found out about Angel of my Dreams by Jade and it’s been stuck in my head for two days
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I like a grand total of 1 Taylor Swift album (1989 original version) so I had not engaged with how bad her latest was, but I watched Shanspeare’s Gaylor video and now my algorithm is all Life of a Showgirl autopsies for some reason and wowwww girl yikes
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I am not in a leftist echo chamber, i follow at least one socdem
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 25/06/2026
the bread is $13.50 and all the circuses are subscription based
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
May have to accept that my toddler is actually pretty sweet and well behaved for her age and it is me who is the problem because I also have too many synapses firing at once and the coping skills of a wet paper bag
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I have only just found out that the National Mall is not the same thing as the Mall of America, I genuinely thought they were having this whole pathetic display in a shopping centre
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themboy insomniac @riotliturgist.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
as always one must understand that when they say "women's safety" or "children's safety," they mean "protecting cis men's property from contamination or property damage." they mean "asset safety."
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
If the English speaking world is not ready for a full overhaul of spelling then British English should at least adopt American spelling for colo(u)r, theatre/er etc because ours is just pretentious
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I don’t think there’s a reality where, everything else being equal, any different parenting could have prevented me having an eating disorder. Like if I had an almond mom or had grown up with free access to junk food at all times or any other extreme it would have started differently but that’s it.
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Patrick Andelic @pkandelic.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
This looks like a lost Gary Larson cartoon.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
idk why the chorus of the cure by olivia rodrigo makes me feel all choked up and dying and want to cry and belt it out along with her but there’s something about it, man
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
“Why do you not simply respond to unusual heatwaves caused by global warming by burning even more fossil fuels to keep the house cool :)”
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Phwoarhammer (but scary) 🎃 🏳️‍⚧️ @rustedwirewitch.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
To the Americans informing us that you've been using aircon for decades now. Yes. Thank you. We noticed.
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Earthling @ziyatong.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
🎯
@nluewmist / I’m finally reading Dune. This quote which in the first few pages hit hard; “once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only let other men with machines to enslave them.”
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Esther Schindler @estherschindler.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
"A solar farm on a rewetted peatland is home to more types of bird than drained agricultural fields nearby, suggesting that land used for renewable energy can make money for landowners, lock away carbon and boost biodiversity at the same time."
newscientist.com
Wildlife thrives in solar farm built on restored peatland
A diverse range of bird species has been recorded at a solar park on rewetted peatland in Germany, suggesting that combining energy generation with habitat restoration could benefit biodiversity, the climate and the economy
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kororā @davejac.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
My neighbor told me a cat keeps eating his british prime minister so I asked how many PMs he has and he said he just goes to the commons and gets a new PM afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding PMs to a cat and then his daughter started crying.
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拉拉 Lexi 💖 Venom 毒汁 @lexivenom.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
fuck, i hope he refuses to go and they have to send two civil servants into number 10 with a cattleprod. i wanna see him on the news, stood outside, wrapped in a net, surrounded by handlers, his eyes darting around furtively like a polecat that somehow got into the pantry.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Okay so I am now dangerously obsessed with it and the premier of the finale coming out tonight is the only thing keeping me going today (hyperbole but only just)
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Moira Donegan @moiradonegan.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Like twice a day now I read a headline that makes me remember that time I went to Versailles with my mom, and she looked around and went, “They had it coming.”
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Nich ship and character tropes that I am apparently obsessed with: - we were best friends but now you are a supervillain - sentient spacecraft and the stupid boys who love them - closeted-even-to-themselves trans lesbians making their depression and self hatred everyone else’s problem
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The pigtailed girl🏳️‍⚧️🩷💜💙 @thepigtailedgirl.at.app.wafrn.net · 14/06/2026
Helen Lewis reeading the "first they came for" poem:
Garfield looking at an anti garfield sign wondering who it's for
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
So far I agree with @wryterra.com that while the animation styles being disjointed is supposed to be upsetting it may be a little too upsetting. Intrigued though. I thought Ragatha was voiced by Laura Bailey for a moment there because she sounded like Kira Carsen (my tertiary space wife)
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Can’t get back to sleep, time to try out the amazing digital circus, all i know is that it is the latest inheritor of the migratory toxic fandom and it’s a bit “i have no mouth and i must scream”y, let’s go
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
Correctly perceiving something that feels innately wrong vs Incorrectly perceiving something that is objectively okay vs Correctly perceiving that you do not look like the people in the adverts because no-one looks like the people in the adverts, not even the people in the adverts
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the TERRIBLE EGG @wryterra.com · 02/06/2026
It's a totally innocent word but when your 2 year old says it, loud, in the gravelly voice of hell itself while inches from your face it is terrifying to just hear... ⛥ E̶͇͐̈́Y̶̪̽̐̏̒È̷͉Ş̵͉̍̋̊̃͗͜
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Was having another “i don’t really have autism i’m just a fuckup” moment then i looked stuff up and yes i am still basically a textbook example of level 1 autism in a girl
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Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness @tangledwilderness.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Your sex is none of the state's business. They don't get to tell you what it is, and there is literally no reason for sex markers to appear on driver's licenses or any other form of government ID.
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
What if I don’t do any self care and just play Balatro for three hours
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Vajra Chandrasekera @vajra.me · 29/05/2026
love that this is a response to a hypothetical "what specifically ridiculous thing would you do with a ridiculous amount of money" question and it instantly started happening for free in the replies/quotes
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Dorothy Berry @dorothyjberry.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
We all know that "back in the good old days" sort of talk is broadly nonsense and "back in my day we didn't have XYZ social concern" is usually incomplete thinking, but sometimes I think that doesn't give enough credit to the ways the past was progressive. This is from a 1959 YMCA teen manners book.
A page from a 1959 etiquette book for teenage girls explaining that prejudice is like a bacteria against which one needs to build up antibodies, and that the finest antibody is a self of self-worth and healthy relationships towards the world you live in
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
As an autistic tween I learned to be a woman from a copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary and email forwards involving a game of telephone about Marilyn Monroe’s dress size.
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
There was a period where people kept saying the internet wasn’t real life and then a period where people started to accept that the internet had become real life but I think we’re out of that now and that the internet isn’t real life anymore, it’s some sort of hyperreal zone of impossible terrains
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
My anorexia: no snacks you gluttonous fuck, also lattes count as meals again so you have had 5 meals today, die My binge eating disorder: in this age of ozempic it is our feminist and anticapitalist duty to eat our body weight in cake Me: shut the fuck up I am trying to crochet
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
This sounded like the fakest story ever then i heard her ask for “slee kinney” with my own ears, what the actual fuck
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
How many versions of All The Things She Said can I put on my Gideon and Harrow playlist
media.tenor.com
a close up of a woman 's face with a purple shirt on .
Alt: lindsay lohan in mean girls saying “the limit does not exist”
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zoë @strandedselkie.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
Me muttering while the little one watches Sesame Street- “i don’t like mr noodle. I like ms noodle. I like mr noodle’s brother mr noodle. But i do not like mr noodle.”
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