Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026While waiting for the sauce to cool, I remembered the butter-fried Lender’s bagels my mom used to make, but I upped the regional ante with Market Basket brand bagels and some whipped chive cream cheese. So, this may be my last post. 063
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 14/08/2026I’m so old that I happened across a band in Big Sky Montana and sat next to the soundboard where someone asked me if the lead singer was my daughter. 082
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026The new dentist installed a TV that loops AI flowers with nonsensical piano so I asked the DA how she was getting on with the tunes and got a 🤷. I said it’s like being at the dentist AND on hold, for a giggle. When I said wait… here comes the good part, her snort laugh made the new boss check in. 061
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 14/07/2026My humor often comes at the expense of my closest friends. 031
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 20/06/2026It surprises me that there are so many Pink Floyd fans at these soccer games. 040
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 10/06/2026I’m down 15lbs from last year but the homemade focaccia bread I made for the first time tonight with rosemary and tarragon from the garden may have other plans for that. 2162
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 03/06/2026I told a joke today that I heard at summer camp in 1984 and it killed. 4255
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 03/06/2026I finally burned through the tape in the Brother handheld label printer I salvaged from my early-aughts dot-com company’s fire “sale.” 0154
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 01/06/2026I’ll bet you a dime to a dollar that Van and his brown eyed girl are covered in ticks. 150
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I happened across some leftover s’more ingredients tonight after hosting a baseball pasta dinner and I only set fire to one of the five I ate. I’m fatting .800. 063
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 20/04/2026Telling someone I’m doing some work around the house translates to me just turning up my undiagnosed ADD to 11. 032
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 04/04/2026I didn’t quit here, I’ve just been leaning into other hobbies. 041
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 06/03/2026He slid a Porta-Brace Sharpie behind his ear so he could flick a piece of gaffer tape from his eyebrow on the downstroke and said: “Son, I’ve made a life, reading people’s faces. Like when I was a kid, the company I worked for had to buy us a 16GB hard drive for $18k and they were all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.” 053
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 21/02/2026If you miss being ghosted, try selling a car on Facebook marketplace. 031
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 20/02/2026I can never sleep the night I get back from vacation because I always leave a couple of lights on while I’m gone, so when I turn them off, I’m afraid we’re going to get robbed. 162
Reposted by StilldanScott with Silent T @silenttscott.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Asked the lady on the Chex Mix customer service line if they’d make a bag that just had the little Chex pieces in it. She asks me, “isn’t that just a box of cereal?” Now I’m trying to get her fired. 0102
Reposted by StilldanTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 09/02/2026Came back secondhand, born in thrift. It never could have all been brand new but some say there's an invoice somewhere. It would mean we're alive not just curses in old things. Me, I astral project to Etsy 07345
Reposted by StilldanSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 09/02/2026Didn’t understand a word. Understood enough. Loved it 922934
Reposted by StilldanUsed Robot Salesman @urs-annex.bsky.social · 08/02/2026She snuck a chrome Ronson out of her clutch, struck up a flame and lit the end of a white cigarette. She pulled it away from her red lips with a gentle puff. "40 grand might not be a lot to anyone these days," she said. "But, it would mean an awful lot to me." 0123
Reposted by StilldanUsed Robot Salesman @urs-annex.bsky.social · 08/02/2026Something I do. Stumble across a good name, first or last, well, I do try to write it down so I don't forget. Like, a couple homeless strays 'Taromina' or 'Aristabel' likely of valuable use in some fantasy future! But if yer workin in the noir genera...Maybell Gunn is almost too perfect to believe 1237
Reposted by StilldanTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 06/02/2026The to be continueds of the mind always know what's next, a defense mechanism cliffhanger. Will you temporarily forget to live in constant recap? Spoiler alert: only when you've accepted skipping yourself 15835
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 06/02/2026I’m so old, I tweaked my good knee eight days ago skiing and for a solid week I thought I was done, until this morning when it made a cracking sound and got 75% better. 051
Reposted by StilldanTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 31/01/2026Not the night not the day but a third thing in the morning, and even a fourth thing in the evening. That's what a secret rotates on its axis to keep, a set untold schedule for a dirty little optimum productivity 25840
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 29/01/2026One of the things I’ve learned firsthand, walking the streets of this giant world, is that Willem Dafoe is a bite sized human being in real life. 151
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 18/01/2026One time when I was a kid, I saw bacon teaching a penn how to dance. 021
Reposted by StilldanTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Last night's cocoon did wonders for my feeling safe but my new beauty emerge stage can't feather its hair for shit 28140
Reposted by StilldanSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 01/01/2026If a book of poetry has a wine stain on its cover from a mason jar, it means I liked it plenty 38826
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 20/12/2025I was tasked with creating something tangible to put under the tree for a gift that doesn’t technically exist in object form. 44312
Stilldan @stilldan.bsky.social · 28/11/2025On November 28, 1942, my grandmother’s sister was stood up just before a double date and refused to be a third wheel, so my nana canceled their plans to go to the Coconut Grove nightclub, all Final Destination style. 3174
Reposted by StilldanTusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 24/11/2025It's always the ones you forget whom you will remember the most. I said whom this one time, it left a little scar on how close I am to losing all my thoroughfare cred 16235
Reposted by StilldanSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 18/11/2025I'm not really a praying man but I pray Jason Voorhees eventually finds the rest of his goalie gear 411737
Reposted by StilldanUsed Robot Salesman @urs-annex.bsky.social · 24/11/2025*sitting next to you on the bus, looks over. "I just noticed it. You know when that backbeat started up?" 0155
Reposted by StilldanSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 12/11/2025Knocked a couple pieces of maple together while bringing in firewood and before I knew it a family of bigfoots had brought a casserole. “We’re going to need that dish back,” they said, "it's vintage CorningWare." 810832
Reposted by Stilldanterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 05/11/2025Bringing out a minuscule meal in the break room to appear larger and more intimidating to my coworkers 213413
Reposted by StilldanMary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 06/11/2025If You Give a Mouse a Sorting Project 02410
Reposted by StilldanDead Serious Mick @deadseriousmick.bsky.social · 05/10/2025I'm only clever now if I have a minute and internet access. 03823
