Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Golf commentator just described a shot as "a squirter". 070
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 09/09/2026As always when there is airport disruption, I am absolutely LOVING the people who have paid £15 to fly halfway across the world on CrapJet complaining about the lack of customer service. 060
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Read this headline 3 times before I realised it was about a split spectrum. #BrianMay #WhoRemembers #TornBottom www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukA split in the spectrum? The ongoing battle to define autismThere is a continuing row over whether it matters if such a broad spectrum of people are defined as having autism 000
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 17/08/2026The Tintin specialist on mastermind looks like a paedophile 100
Reposted by Awkward EggBarbarossa⚡️ @barbarossa69.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Guy on the other end said exactly the same... 021
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Pretty sure I just had a full phone conversation with a robot but I can't be sure 281
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Had to use a garden cane to unblock the loo earlier. #summerholidays #disgustang #itwasntme 010
Reposted by Awkward EggPip Kazan @pipkazan.bsky.social · 08/08/2026If you’re looking for a thread that will send you gibbering towards your emergency heap of anti-anxiety meds, look no further. 051
Reposted by Awkward EggNick Pettigrew @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social · 08/08/2026When your product is too morally reprehensible for Wetherspoons, you have a problem. 27217
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 08/08/2026Slept for 11 hours straight last night. It's like discovering a new drug. #sleepsky #uksleepscene 030
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 07/08/2026If I was an American, I would just kill myself out of embarrassment, if I hadn't done so already. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukTrump administration to pay German firm to halt US wind projectsThe RWE payout is the latest in a string of deals cancelling wind energy projects, a power source long derided by Trump. 000
Reposted by Awkward EggJon of The North @krauza.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Somewhere along the way, being wrong about facts was reclassified as "having an opinion," and knowing facts was stigmatized as "having bias." It's a big part of why we're in hell now. 48029
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 04/08/2026It's because they're ironing their husbands' pants. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukUK weather: Why heatwaves hit women harderExperts are calling for better awareness of the heat-related risks to women and more targeted efforts to protect them. 010
Reposted by Awkward EggIn Otter News @in-otter-news.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Sounds like otter chaos. 861000116
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 01/08/2026"Our carpet smells of piss, we charge £25 for a crap burger, our toilets are worse than those at a French campsite, and a shit pint costs at least £7. I don't know why we're struggling." www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukSouth East pubs 'really struggling' to stay openLandlords in the South East say they are having to partially close and take on second jobs. 173
Reposted by Awkward EggSkip, the Online Raccoon @badposter.lol · 01/08/2026@uggcaveman.bsky.social hey man have you seen this 1011923
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 01/08/2026On the plus side, the wine is going to be as strong af next year 🍷 040
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Quite pleased with my first month in charge of FIFA's commercial project ideation. 050
Reposted by Awkward EggAwkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 01/04/2026Frogs are sad on the first day of the month because it's when all their direct ribbits go out. 822119
Reposted by Awkward Eggkay taylor rea @kaytaylorrea.bsky.social · 01/08/2026I realize the overlap of parents who use chatgpt for everything and people who see their kids as objects they acquired for the sake of appearances and don't really want to meaninfully engage with is a circle, but this is still so grim. They can't even chat with their kids on the morning school run? 28721118
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Just read that no one has ever been prosecuted for ignoring a hose pipe ban so I've attached a hose to every tap in the house. 150
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Andy Burnham suggests the existence of Withouty Undercookham 020
Reposted by Awkward EggMark Watson @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 26/07/2026I'm on the train from Montréal to Toronto. There's just been a reminder that it is MANDATORY to use headphones when watching video. I can't believe this guys have resorted to legislation, rather than our system of having 75% of the carriage sit in murderous, futile rage. 261067177
Reposted by Awkward EggIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I miss the old days when people would just cough once then quietly pass away 1636487
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I once saw a wig catalogue and there was a wig in it called Little Rascal. What's your favourite name for a wig! 220
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I got a job as a Morrissey impersonator and heaven knows I'm miserable now. 030
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Spielberg's new film, Disclosure Day, is complete dog shit, if you were thinking of watching it. #ChrisReviewsFilms 120
Reposted by Awkward EggMrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 24/07/2026One unleashes the *hounds* of Hell, not the gates of Hell, you illiterate moron. 1983208054091
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Lovely bit of daytime family entertainment from Channel 5 for the school holidays 030
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Burnham to hold daily 6pm, Covid-style news conferences where he painstakingly explains how merge in turns work. These end with live footage of drivers who straddle lanes or travel 1cm from the car in front to prevent merging being rounded up and deported to a third world country (eg Southampton). 050
Reposted by Awkward EggAlexander Fox @alexanderfox1.bsky.social · 23/07/2026Incredible moment just now on the train platform. A bloke cracks out x2 such loud farts that his girlfriend storms away in disgust. When he follows, she gives him a colossal bollocking, of which I only heard the following excerpts: “It’s not funny… I’m sick of it… Not just tonight… At the funeral.” 835175
Reposted by Awkward EggWeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 22/07/2026This is Chubbers. He is catching a wave. But more importantly, catching a vibe. 14/10 (IG: nataliepaigebentley) 198135341590
Reposted by Awkward EggDan's wardrobe furnished by Botany 500 @grumpygreyhead.bsky.social · 22/07/2026Of course, she ended up dead from radiation; slow, invisible suffocation 021
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 22/07/2026Marie Curie was Polish-born but French-bred (ha, French bread) 120
Reposted by Awkward EggMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 22/07/2026We saw this restaurant in Plymouth yesterday and quick as a flash my son said “It’s not surf and turf… it’s boeuf and l’oeuf!”. 3387492
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 21/07/2026Pterodactyl, brontosaurus, Tyrannosaurus Rex gather around 000
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 21/07/2026I give it three months before people are saying Burnham is the worst prime minister we've ever had and reminiscing about Starmer's good points. 060
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 21/07/2026An expert on a radio 4 phone-in just said we can help people struggling with the cost of living "by saying hello to them when we pass them in the street". 2133
Reposted by Awkward EggKath @kathyburke.bsky.social · 15/07/2026At least we don’t have to listen to wonderwall. 411497235
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 15/07/2026To the people who say radio commentary is better. A guy on 5 Live just said "If Argentina score first, England will have to try and get a goal, and if England score first, Argentina will have to try and get a goal." 47419
Awkward Egg @sleepwalkingdog.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Argentina should be punished for the favouritism shown to them in this world cup by being forced to perform in the Final halftime show as an 11-man Tina Turner tribute act (called ArgenTINA), singing all her hits in full drag. 151
