Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026No song should be longer than 2 minutes unless it’s about a rock lobster, then it can be as long as it needs to be. 001
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Worst part of going to the dentist is when they make you wear those Guy Fieri sunglasses. So humiliating. 010
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I am completely baffled by the stranglehold that mahjong has on my library’s community and staff. 011
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Most days I don’t feel like I contribute anything meaningful to workplace conversations but not today. Today I told my coworker all about the Jesse White Tumblers. 020
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Everyone’s making the same home alone 2 joke. You guys are going to jinx Joe Pesci. 000
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Going through old files at work. These people used to print anything oh my god. 100
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Most bars have pretty good NA options now but every so often it is just like, hey lemme get one of those o’douls that have been here since the 90s. 110
Reposted by Shannon CandyBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 18/08/2026This was always a weird angle of Garfield to have in the credits, like he just hit you with a lamp or something, a looming sinister Garf 1218415
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026It’s National Black Cat Appreciation Day. Please give it up for Lenny the cat. 041
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Sometimes I wander onto Threads to see what insane people are talking about. Right now, it’s an absurd amount of posts calling 150k a year a pathetic salary. 020
Reposted by Shannon CandyThe Hard Times @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social · 13/07/2026I May Have Physically Outweighed Sam Neill by Several Thousand Lbs, but When It Comes to Talent He Was a Giant — Guest Obituary by the T.rex From Jurassic Park thehardtimes.net/blog/i-may-h...thehardtimes.netI May Have Physically Outweighed Sam Neill by Several Thousand Lbs, but When It Comes to Talent He Was a Giant — Guest Obituary by the T.rex From Jurassic ParkIt is in the mouth of sadness that I find myself today. My esteemed Co-star and close friend, Sir Nigel John Dermot... Read the full masterpiece 110822
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 10/07/2026You want to work in a public library because you love to read? Ok, how do you feel about getting yelled at because the restrooms have free tampons in them? 031
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 20/06/2026It’s so cool how every annoying person feels entitled to do whatever they want all of the time now. 020
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 19/06/2026You: Hey Shannon, how’s it g- Me: THE GUY JAMES DEAN GOT INTO A CAR CRASH WITH WAS NAMED DONALD TURNUPSEED! 021
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Stop what you’re doing and look at this handsome boy! 150
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Going to the Sox game tonight. If I die in a tornado, at least I’ll be with Southpaw. 150
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 06/06/2026Every single person who’s mad at Pritzker about the Bears is also someone who complains nonstop about paying taxes. 011
Reposted by Shannon Candykay slater @kslater.bsky.social · 28/05/2026action items for library lovers: - go to library - run for library board - write letters of support that explain why you love the staff, space, programs, access to collections - advocate for legislation like HB5236 in IL to hold publishers accountable for charging high costs to license eMaterials 051
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Being an introvert is so stupid because what do you mean I had a nice time hanging out with people I love all weekend and now I’m exhausted and cranky? 020
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 26/05/2026Nothing more annoying than when a thing you think is just ok becomes the new thing everyone loses their minds over. This is a post about Obsession. 010
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 22/05/2026Before last week, I had never in my life heard of anyone using MDW as shorthand for Memorial Day weekend. How did so many people and places collectively decide to start doing that this year? 110
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 22/05/2026I simply do not get Backrooms as a horror movie. If I found some weird, hidden area of my library, I would be so delighted. No patrons, no co-workers, just me and an endless labyrinth of empty rooms. It wouldn’t bother me that the rooms are, like, poorly lit or oddly shaped or whatever. That’s fine. 140
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 20/05/2026There are only two types of drivers on Division St: people going 50 mph and not stopping at red lights and people going 10 mph for no reason. 020
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 17/05/2026Begging the white sox to make women’s merch that isn’t absolutely hideous. 250
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Chewy sent me an email with gift ideas for my cat Soupy’s upcoming birthday. One of the ideas is a gift card. I am dying at the idea of giving my cat a gift card. 040
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 03/05/2026Very excited to report that Lenny and Soupy are pals. 020
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 25/04/2026My husband is having a nice time at the baseball hall of fame. 140
Reposted by Shannon CandyAnnie Pho @anniepho.bsky.social · 24/04/2026Okay which one of you did this? 48420
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 25/04/2026You shouldn’t be allowed to log in to Netflix on a hotel tv. Hotels aren’t for watching stuff you like. They’re for Storage Wars and the Office. 260
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 08/04/2026This is genuinely great. Now make sure the CPL has funding! 010
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 08/04/2026TACO is such an unhinged thing to say when the thing he is “chickening out” on is nuclear war. 040
Reposted by Shannon CandyRobert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 07/04/2026I think it's bad for the President to threaten to annihilate an entire culture and i do not think you are being alarmist if you take his threats seriously and literally. 184211793906
Reposted by Shannon Candyshauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 05/04/2026girl take us with you 445799628
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 07/04/2026You: Wow, Shannon, you seem so calm and carefree! Me: Thanks! I’ve been playing Animal Crossing every day for an amount of time that can only be described as “alarming!” 130
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 02/04/2026Saw the AI Doc last night. Very fortunate to have the theater to myself because I could not stop myself from shouting oh fuck OFF several times throughout it. 031
Reposted by Shannon CandyLiz Gotauco @cosbrarian.bsky.social · 01/04/2026The two types of librarian conflict management as illustrated by Richard Scarry. Which are you? 616860
Reposted by Shannon CandyAnna Holmes @annabookwriter.bsky.social · 31/03/2026Libraries, like post offices, like schools, like the fire department, are not businesses and should not be run like one. Also businesses should not be run as they are. 119853
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 28/03/2026Posting here is basically talking to myself but threads is just rage bait and I’m not going back to twitter. Tough time to be a woman with little jokes on the internet. 041
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 25/03/2026Me: I’ve come a long way in therapy. I’m not as sensitive as I used to be. Also me: The self-checkout machine sounded annoyed with me when it told me to move my pink lady apples to the bag. 010
Reposted by Shannon CandyHumor Satire Memes @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 21/03/2026Your life isn't shitty because of Trans people. Your life is shitty because of billionaires and republican legislation. 81595293
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 20/03/2026I do not want to download an app to buy tickets for a show at the Burlington. Why do I need to download an app to buy tickets for a show at the Burlington? 120
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 12/03/2026In the week leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, there is nothing that delights a baby boomer more than finding out my name is Shannon. 110
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 05/03/2026I know the new guy is also evil but it’s nice to see misfortune befall a dusty ass bitch. 010
Reposted by Shannon CandyGarrett Martin @garrettmartin.bsky.social · 18/02/2026best credit. RIP. 04411
Shannon Candy @shannoncandy.bsky.social · 18/02/2026Ugh, just heard about Tom Noonan. Everyone watch House of the Devil tonight. 000
