iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Wait, you mean the plan to start the bulk innings veteran didn't pan out?

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

listen, we all loved rally squirrel, but come on, 2011 was a long time ago

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Maggie Astor @maggieastor.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The 988 suicide prevention hotline's Press 3 option — which provides specialized services to LGBTQ callers — has been restored more than a year after the Trump administration shut it down. Confirmed by HHS and the office of Senator Tammy Baldwin, who led on legislation that forced its restoration

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

omg have the Rockies just been COSPLAYING this shit? really makes the "oops" Rocktober season that much funnier and awesomer like if the character cast at disneyland went and made their own disney movie starring them in their costumes

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Do you think the whole time he was POBO, Dick Monfort envisioned the Rockies as a sort of baseball dinner theater? Like Medieval Times, except MLB? Instead of Knights, it's the Rockies vs THE BLUE KNIGHTS ooooohhhhhh (for those who didn't realize that yeah this is real) www.medievaltimes.com

medievaltimes.com

Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament

Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament is a fun family dinner theater themed as a royal banquet and tournament of jousting, sword fighting, and games of skill.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

That depends on how often the candidate will be expected to say "Hell yeah, brother" or equivalent to clients.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Bonus shout out on this 9/25 to Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda

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sarah jeong @sarahjeong.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

lol my flight got diverted because of a medical emergency and they landed us in reykjavik in the middle of the night and deplaned us and sent us through passport control and then the crew vanished and then british airways sent us links to book an overnight hotel room but for a hotel at heathrow

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ElieNYC @elienyc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I know we're all used to Trump embarassing us on the world stage. But we are truly a rogue nation. A rogue *superpower*, and need to be sanctioned and defeated by the international community.

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Taniel @taniel.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A post that’s so eye-opening because this is exactly what liberals will say is GOP distraction tactics, almost as a parody— and here it really is what Gaetz is saying unironically as his GOP message.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Craig Breslow has a top-3 punchable face among MLB execs - secretly become a Rockies fan if you agree

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Listen, unless something about morality is actively making me money, I'm just not sure if it's the right thing to do or not.

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June Martin @theworldsgreatestwriter.com · 22/09/2026

my smart glasses told me "hey, it looks like you're beating your wife. that's not the best approach to being a good husband" and it really turned my life around

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Chris Towers Missed The Playoffs @cptowers.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Skenes being like "I'm doing this because I'm basically A Troop" throughout the World Baseball Classic and then blaming the WBC for why he's had a bad season is kind of annoying to me.

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Eve Eschenbacher 🎮 @midnightrem.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

So uh, where the fuck do autistics get this free money and cars? (Better question is how the fuck are these people this delusional and where do they get these ideas?)

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👹 Other Sammy 👹 @swizzard.pizza · 21/09/2026

all conservatives are this guy and have always only ever been this guy

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Jeremy Noel-Tod @jntod.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The military bloat of the massive SUVs on the school run is getting ridiculous. You're there to take a child home for tea, not transport a pallet of shrinkwrapped banknotes through the fall of Basra.

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TekknoNerd - Commissions open @tekknonerd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Voyager, walking on those tiny legs.

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Casey Drottar @caseydrottar.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Elly De La Cruz just nuked a baseball clean out of Great American Ball Park

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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

You know it's rough when the guy who booted the ball asks you: "What are you doing???" "Yeah, I mean, exactly"

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Siri Dahl @siridahl.com · 08/09/2026

Get ready with me 🤗

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

2 whole fucking towers had been hit - not collapsed yet - and my friend comes running up to me: "THEY'RE GONNA HIT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY NEXT - TO STRIKE FEAR INTO OUR HEARTS" oh right, we were just confused and angry before that, maybe a little hungry

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

In this modern age of ISP "natural" monopolies, I'd _LOVE_ to see Lily Tomlin do an Ernestine rehash but she's customer service at Spectrum or Cox or something similarly insidious as Ma Bell.

Lily Tomlin in her "Ernestine" character at a telephone switchboard. She is wearing a white blouse and a pink skirt appropriate for an office. Her hair is coiffed up in a 40s style. Her face is grimacing as if she just heard some _very_ juicy gossip; some dankness; some of the cheesiest chisme.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

@breelundberg.com I can't reply to you, nbd, but I wanted to send warm feelings to you and your kitty. Glad the rascal levels are up, that's always a good sign. I'm sure you're working with your vet, but it could be time to try Rx hypoallergenic food/hydrolyzed protein for the cat, mayhaps.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

0.5mm mechanical pencils are pretty cool. They're so sharp and precise your lines look great. 0.7mm is what you use to get a 72 on an algebra test in 10th grade.

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Stephanie Carvin @stephaniecarvin.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Wake up, babe. The Prime Minister just dropped “hydronym”.

The name Lake Ontario comes from the Wendat word Ontari’io, which, appropriately, means “the lake is beautiful, the lake is big”.

The name is more than 400 years old, predating both the Confederation of Canada and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America.

We know that America is changing. Their trading relationships, their foreign policies, their national monuments, their hydronyms.

Canadians also know that naming reality means calling it Lake Ontario – then, now and always.

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Kyle Clark @kylec.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

COMMENTARY: A whole lot of celebrities are loved. Dolly Parton loved you back.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

This is my daily grind. The one man bluegrass bands, RPG campaign settings, and wicked software utilities, dying at the sound of the Slack Huddle notification.

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Regime Accountant, CPA ☠️🎢 @regimecpa.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Feel like shit just want her back

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Washington Nationals @nationals.com · 23/08/2026

JACOB YOUNG CLIMBS THE TALLEST WALL POSSIBLE

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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

LMAOOOOOOOOOO somebody finally asked the transphobes if they know any WNBA players besides and NOPE

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Baseball by BSmile @bsmile.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Boston #RedSox legend Carl Yastrzemski throws out the first pitch to his grandson, #SFGiants OF Mike Yastrzemski at Fenway Park! (2019) Happy 87th Birthday Yaz! #Inspiration #MLB #Baseball #History

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

god, remember Infrastructure Week ft Chuck 'n' Nancy?

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

right, but like kCal or regular cal? because if the latter I certainly hope it does ... honestly the former as well. doesn't food, by definition, include calories?

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happy brickentimes day @bigblocks.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

i can't believe this is how I learn the french use condoms

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shovda @shovda.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

The A in LMAO stands for ally

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

ahhhh it feels good getting online in the morning and not knowing what this is all about

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Listen, I get how investigating a crash and a shooting is gonna be difficult and distracting. How that equates to Thornton PD parking a vehicle ON THE TRAIN TRACKS THAT GOT HIT BY RTD is beyond me Like, are they sincerely stupid? Parking on RAILROAD TRACKS? Physics don't respect badges, son.

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404 Media @404media.co · 20/08/2026

"The emperor is a fan of Flock, and we must continue utilizing Flock technologies so that we can follow and surveil the rebel scum," Vader said during the meeting.

404media.co

'Darth Vader' Wants Flock in San Diego

"The emperor is a fan of Flock, and we must continue utilizing Flock technologies so that we can follow and surveil the rebel scum," Vader said during the meeting.

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

@iamtrevormay.bsky.social LHP Mark Manfredi debuted tonight. On the broadcast, Cory Sullivan said "He just had his debut, hes done, and i look down and you know what I see? Hes sitting on the bench watching the game. I like that." Do y'all not normally watch the game after relieving?

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

The most prized of accomplishments among 2B

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

@queencokefrancis.com this feels like it belongs in a met gala video, non lex luthor edition

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Townes Van Pants @rockiesmagicnumber.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

What's your favorite "Simple Pleasure"? You know, small treats or knickknacks, music or sounds, or anything to help quiet the voices, the ones that whisper in my ear at night to remind that even tucked in the most comforting blanket, their disquieting voices will always find me? Mine's popsicles.

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