iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 1h

'Pumpkin Spice Time' dates to 1500s. 'Why are there Christmas Decorations on the shelves already? Season' came about in 1153. 'Oh God I love my kids but thank God they're not in the house all day anymore' popularized in 13 BCE

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 14/10/2024

And all the spooky scary skeletons and grim grinning ghosts will look up and shout "Mr. Purple People Eater, don’t eat me!"... and I'll look down, and whisper "Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?"

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Can the new cutting-edge AI models die of dysentery? They at least behave as if they do, according to a recent study.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The IOC told me crocodiles keep eating its athletes so I asked how many athletes they have and they said they just go to the list of alternates and get new athletes afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding Olympic athletes to crocodiles and then the color commentators started crying.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Vehicle was clean and driver was polite but kept stopping to drill holes in trees. 3.5 stars.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Now having a midlife existential crisis about not doing anything interesting with my midlife existential crisis.

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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

2027... that's the year I turn it around. Just need... the right calendar 📆 amazon.com/gp/product/B0GF98HRPD

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

You can take the boy out of the Bronx...

Screenshot of results from quiz. Text reads:
Your dialect map
Redder areas talk more like you; bluer areas least.
You talk most like someone from New York - about 61% of your answers match a typical resident.
MYDIALECT - STANDARD

Below that is a colored map of the U.S. and a bar explaining that blue means Least like you and red means Most like you. The southwest and southeast coastal area show oranges and yellows, indicating a moderate match. The Northeast is redder indicating a close match. The rest of the map is mostly blue.

Below that is a bar with the text Save map as PNG
Additional text below that reads Cities most & least like you. Interpolated from the nearest survey responses. Most Similar 1. New York, NY (57%) 2. Philadelphia, PA (57%) Least Similar 1. Omaha, NE (47%) 2. Salt Lake City, UT (47%).

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Elle Cordova @ellecordova.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Rough Draft vs Final Draft

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U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission @cpsc.gov · 01/09/2026

September is Baby Safety Month. Don't you dare put that baby in pelican mouth.

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Dead Man's Online @spadetheskeleton.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Heads up windows 11 users, microsoft now has this setting enabled by default. Be sure to disable it :]

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Welcome to Truth Social. Please familiarize yourself with the following accounts to understand the range of corruption it is acceptable to get away with

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Poker, a few years back. He went all-in with four of a kind. I can still picture that smug grin falling from his face when I revealed my straight flush. Biggest pot I ever won. I do kind of miss going outside in the daytime, though.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

A lot of great roles being mentioned today, but I also think he's underrated as the perfect evil scientist Dr. Anton Sevarius in Gargoyles. A memorable villain on a show filled with memorable villains.

Dr. Anton Sevarius from Gargoyles. A white man with brown hair in a white sort-of lab coat with what appears to be a button by the left shoulder. Looking straight ahead with an evil scientist smile on his face.

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Mo Ryan @moryan.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

every billionaire & tech mogul, they all want to be adored & celebrated without doing the things Dolly did with a fraction of the power & money. What she had, she gave away. I'm sure she was comfortable (& that's good!). But she just relentlessly helped. It's not that difficult. Love. Care. Help. 💚🌸

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Starbucks Workers United @sbworkersunited.org · 25/08/2026

🚨BREAKING: Our union of over 12,000 baristas are officially calling for a Starbucks boycott. Read this statement penned by Starbucks workers on why a boycott from ALL customers, allies, and organizations is necessary to fight back against corporate greed:

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Uncanny Magazine @uncannymagazine.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

ICYMI! PLEASE SHARE! Writers! Uncanny Magazine will be open for short story submissions from August 24 to September 7! WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR AMAZING, HUMAN-WRITTEN STORIES! www.uncannymagazine.com/submissions/

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Ready for your Avengers Doomsday homework? Marvel has released a watchlist of 15 movies and TV shows you should watch before December 18 rolls around:

1. A Blaffair to Rememblack
2. Le Cousins Dangereux
3. The Return of the Curse of the Creature's Ghost
4. Kickpuncher
5. Everybody Loves Hypnotoad
6. The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show
7. Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs
8. It's Patsy
9. Pawnee Today
10. Adventures of a Very Randy Vampire
11. Love That Baby
12. The Adventures of Nuktuk: Hero of the South
13. The Truth Wears Side-Burns
14. Fjord of Blood
15. Who's Making Dinner?

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Sappho, completing a pile of trademark applications:

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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

Victor Wembanyama at the postgame press conference (dejected): This one's on me. I gotta get taller

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NBA @nba.com · 14/06/2026

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 53 YEARS, THE KNICKS ARE NBA CHAMPIONS 🏆 New York defeats San Antonio 4-1 in the NBA Finals, capturing their third championship in franchise history!

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 10/06/2026

Because if there's one thing we know God really appreciates, it's building a tower as tall as possible.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/05/2026

“When I heard James say he was going to pick up some groceries, that was one thing, but when he told me he also wanted to do his laundry, I realized he was pushing himself way too hard,” said roommate Aaron Steiner

theonion.com

Overambitious Man Wants To Get 2 Things Done Today

AKRON, OH—Saying the expectations he had set for himself were completely unrealistic, friends of local man James Chao expressed skepticism this morning after the 25-year-old announced plans to get two...

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Simon and Gargamel @kellylink.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Now they can all get jobs as PIs when they retire from astronauting.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

I believe this was also the reasoning behind Zoobilee Zoo.

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Taniel @taniel.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

JUST IN: North Carolina's Dem lawmaker Carla Cunningham gave the GOP the decisive vote to pass a law forcing police to comply with ICE. She said "all cultures are not equal." She just lost reelection BIG in the Dem primary to a progressive pastor & activist, Rodney Sadler. 70% to 22%! Context:

boltsmag.org

The Feds Targeted Charlotte. Now a Local Democrat Who Helped ICE Faces Voters. - Bolts

North Carolina lawmaker Carla Cunningham voted to mandate compliance with ICE, and derided immigrants on the House floor. The Democrat faces an intense March primary.

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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy

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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 09/02/2026

i worry that a 5-year stretch of nothing but ads for NFTs, bitcoin, and AI is a long enough gap that this nation's once-great advertising industry will forget how to sell a product people actually want

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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

*clears throat* *taps mic* I had some edits thank you to @sbarolo.bsky.social and @ajdemas.bsky.social for their Jeremiah and Lazarus jokes which gave me the idea for this

extremely cringe early 2000s youth group-looking poster, gray background with aggressive black and white text of all different sizes (chaotic. terrible design). The header reads “DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK GOD CAN’T USE YOU?” and it WAS followed by a list of Bible figures with their various “faults.” I have very poorly photoshopped in some corrections. My version reads as follows:

NOAH INVENTED RAINBOWS (GAY)

FATHER ABRAHAM HAD SEVEN SONS

IF ISAAC CHOTINER CALLS, DO NOT PICK UP

JACOB WRESTLED WITH AN ANGEL (ALSO GAY)

LEAH I HAVE NO BEEF WITH

JOSEPH SERVED LEWKS

MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES ARE ROSES

GIDEON... ALSO DID STUFF (I remembered nothing about Gideon sorry guys!!!!!)

SAMSON HAD MAD GAME PROBABLY

RAHAB YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG

EW, DAVID

ELIJAH WAS A REAL BAAL BUSTER (insert Dad Joke groan I’m so sorry)

ISAIAH PREACHED NAKED, WERK

RIP JONAH YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED "STAR TREK V"

NAOMI WAS LOWKEY GAY FOR RUTH

JOB HAD A LOT GOING ON, GUYS

PETER DESERVES A MORE SUBSTANTIAL ROLE IN “JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR,” THIS HAS ALWAYS BUGGED ME

THE DISCIPLES GIVE HIMBO ENERGY TBH

MARTHA FEEDS YOU GUYS FOR FREE, YOU’RE WELCOME

THE SAMARITAN WOMAN WAS FINE THINK??

ZACCHEUS WAS A SHORT KING

PAUL SUCKED

UNFORTUNATELY TIMOTHY HAD AN ULCER WHICH IS TOO BAD

LAZARUS WAS DEAD TO BEGIN WITH

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

“You there, boy, what day is it?” “New Year's Day, sir.” “Then I haven't missed-wait, New Year's?” “Yes, sir. You've been asleep for a week.” “And Tiny Tim? Is he…?” “Dead. Whole city blames you.” “… shit.” “And some transparent guy in chains has been laughing his ass off on your doorstep.”

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Starting the year off on the right foot:

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 06/11/2025

Proud to announce I've been officially named People Magazine's three billion, five hundred and seventy-nine thousand, four hundred and third Sexiest Man Alive.

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G.M. Nair - Author Ordinaire @gmnair.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

Great day for Bronx Science

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

[running my ship aground to get to the Sirens] They're simply exercising their First Amendment speech rights in the sanctity of their own home.

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

Describe a character in Greek mythology the way someone trying to defend a politician would. Theseus: We need to stop with all these purity tests if we ever hope to win back power. You think any of the cretins we're up against care if their ship is still the same ship?

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

"They cheated on a commercial. Those frogs hated Budweiser and they said they didn't. They actually preferred Coors Light. 'Tap the Rockies,' that's what they used to say. They'd come into the restaurant in Trump Tower and say 'Tap the Rockies for us, Mr. Trump'. Can you believe it?"

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Robert Hanley @robertbhanley.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

Oh no, he managed to survive the Swifties and now he's challenging the kpop stans.

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