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Rebecca Saltzman

@rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social
185 followers 247 following 121 posts

Irregular contributor at The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, Electric Literature, etc. Your Jewish mom friend.

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Reposted by Rebecca Saltzman
Kelly Caldwell @kkc212.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
"Look, Democrats are losing male voters, and...you know who isn’t a feminized ladyboy with a skincare routine? A guy whose face literally liquefied into a puddle of lard faster than a tourist trying to climb Cadillac Mountain in July." @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social killed it with this one y'all!
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Drew Daudelin @drewdaudelin.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Saltzman and McSweeneys stay winning, and devastatingly accurate.
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Drew Starr @thedrewstarr.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
@rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social is one of my favorite McSweeney's contributors. this is my all-time favorite www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/thi...
mcsweeneys.net
This Is Embarrassing, But It Turns Out Our Fake Jewish Bagel Chain Was Funded By Nazis
“If you’ve ever wondered what the big deal is about cultural appropriation, our shadowy German family selling bagels after we personally profited from the Ho...
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Call me crazy, but I think having a Nazi tattoo is a red flag! My latest on @mcsweeneys.net www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-...
mcsweeneys.net
If Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator
“There’s simply no way any of us could have predicted a Nazi SS guy with his eyeballs dangling out of his sockets and the Staff of Ra broiled into his flesh ...
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Bill Kristol @billkristolbulwark.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
Also, may I say that I don’t agree with people saying ICE and CBP need “more training.” They’re doing exactly what this administration has trained them to—impose a reign of fear in blue cities. They don’t need more training. They need to be ripped up root and branch.
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Jeff Sharlet @jeffsharlet.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
They murdered Good and Pretti, a poet and a nurse, one whose last words were “I’m not mad,” another whose last act was shielding another. Because of course that’s who they killed. Everyday people.
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Lit Hub @literaryhub.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
“i want back my rocking chairs, / solipsist sunsets, / & coastal jungle sounds...” A poem by Renee Nicole Good, who was murdered by ICE earlier today. lithub.com/renee-nicole...
lithub.com
Renee Nicole Good, murdered by ICE, was a prize-winning poet. Here’s that poem.
Renee Nicole Good, 37, mother to a six-year-old boy, was murdered earlier today by an ICE agent in Minneapolis, a few blocks from her home. According to the Minnesota Star Tribune: [An ICE agent] s…
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sab🇧🇦𓅃 @gl00m.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
okay, actually, everyone needs to see this. From the wonderfully funny @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social - it reeks of glorious COVID-era creative weirdness but predates it by a couple months!
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Tom Scocca @tomscocca.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
🫡
Screenshot of text: 

The city’s swankiest tweens lived it up over the weekend at dueling lavish bar mitzvahs, we hear.

Uptown, Cantor Fitzgerald CEO Howard Lutnick’s son Ryan was fêted at the Metropolitan Museum’s Temple of Dendur — the same setting as Vogue’s annual Met Gala — with music by Rich the Kid and DJ Irie.

An insider told us the performance by Kid probably cost “between $200,000 and $300,000.”

One hundred kids attended with 200 adults, including Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, Melania Trump’s former adviser Stephanie Winston Wolkoff and publicist Alison Brod, taking part in the festivities that included catering by Paris’ iconic Caviar Kaspia.
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Julia Métraux @juliametraux.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
"So, what would happen without Medicaid?My patients will be forced to forgo lifesaving care, and they will die. My hospital could face closure entirely or the shuttering of units or services." www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
usatoday.com
I'm a nurse. If Congress cuts Medicaid and Social Security, my patients will die.
So, what would happen without Medicaid? My patients will be forced to forgo lifesaving care, and they will die.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
On this day 80 years ago, the mustache guy unalived himself in a bunker. We defeated fascism before and we can defeat it again.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
A lot of hospitals are going to be in trouble if Republicans gut Medicaid. E.g, we have had a problem with labor and delivery wards closing for decades. Medicaid pays for 40% of US births. What’s going to happen to the remaining L&D wards if Medicaid goes away?
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 29/04/2025
really can’t be said enough how none of these republicans know a gotdamned thing about anything
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Paul Waldman @paulwaldman.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
These guys are about to kick millions of people off their health insurance and they don't have the faintest idea of how these programs work, just throwing out numbers in an incoherent jumble. It's like a football coach saying "We've got a 10-yard redzone in our offside flea flicker so we'll be good"
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Good Boy @goodboy.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
A horrible story but god bless this woman so accurately reading the ICE goons for filth here
Marisa said she is eft with nothing BUt questions.
"What if I would have been armed," she 2 said. "You're breaking in. What am 1 supposed to think? My initial thought was we were being robbed-that my daughters, being females, were being kidnapped. You have guns pointed in our faces. Can you just reprogram yourself and see us as humans, as women? A little bit of mercy. Care a little bit about your fellow human, about your fellow citizen, fellow resident. We bleed too. We vork. We pleed justlike anybody else bleeds. We're scared. You could see our faces that we were terrified. What makes you so much more worthier of your peace? What makes you so much more worthier of protecting your children? What makes you so much more worthy of your citizenship? What makes you more worthy of safety? Of being given
the ight t that they took from me to protect my daughters?"
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
Could not be happier for Canada 🇨🇦 www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
bloomberg.com
Canada Conservative Leader Poilievre Loses His Own Seat in Election, CBC Projects
Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre is projected to lose his own seat in the Canadian election, despite delivering the best result for his party since 2011.
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Kingfisher & Wombat @tkingfisher.com · 25/04/2025
Screaming at these people works. They’re fundamentally wimps, we just have to actually DO the screaming instead of preemptively admitting defeat. I am talking about my fellow Americans, not the Democrats. We actually need to scream, gang, not just complain that Schumer isn’t.
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Victor LaValle @victorlavalle.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Love to see it! Immediate push back.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
Are people really subjecting us all to another round of Junot Diaz discourse in the year 2025?
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Keith Edwards @keithedwards.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Al gore is pissed off and I’m here for it
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Toussaint Egan @thesaintoftous.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Words to live by.
Screenshot of a tweet by @louisethebaker

The text reads, "I’m almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing you’ve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted."
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Hey so if DOGE fired thousands of federal workers and cut all these programs, where is all that money now? Is it in a shoebox under the government’s bed? Siphoned to someone’s foreign bank account? Just wondering!
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Lauren Groff @legroff.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
They’re trying to siphon the little margin we get. But indies put 67% of every dollar back into their local economies. Am*zon puts 4% back. Barnes and Noble returns 45%. What they are doing is calculated expressly to hurt small independent bookstores.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
The damage this administration is doing will not be undone in my lifetime
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
Ok but this one is objectively hilarious. The boomer retirement satire we all need!
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 23/04/2025
I still have space in my short story workshop that starts tonight! I’ll give you my best writing tips, and you’ll leave with a story draft and guidance on how to keep revising. On Zoom! writingpad.com/classes/onli...
writingpad.com
Short Story 1 | Writing Pad
In this 5-wk Online short story workshop, Rebecca Saltzman (The New Yorker, McSweeney’s) helps you write, revise, and publish a short story.
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 22/04/2025
my plan to get people to start having more kids? make climate change worse. abolish the department of education. also milk is poison
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StrictlyChristo 🇺🇦🌻 @strictlychristo.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
Two headlines in the New York Times today.
Two NYT headlines stating the WH wants to promote more childbearing and the EPA is ending testing for chemicals that hurt children.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
The administration that brought us military Signal chat leaks is now promising to be, like, totally careful with millions of Americans’ sensitive medical records www.cbsnews.com/news/rfk-jr-...
cbsnews.com
RFK Jr.'s autism study to amass medical records of many Americans
The autism study is planning to link confidential data "with broad coverage in the U.S. population" in one place for the first time.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
“My luxury NYC apartment is a shithole” is one of my favorite genres, as someone who also lives in an NYC shithole apartment for 1/3 of the price. www.curbed.com/article/gree...
curbed.com
Mice, Hairballs, and ‘Poltergeist’ Noises
Residents paying up to $10,000 a month at Greenpoint’s Eagle + West say life there is not very luxurious.
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Matt McDermott @mattmfm.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
Larry David writing a NYT guest essay as a man having dinner with Hitler, just to roast Bill Maher as a smug, self-important clown, is the stuff of comedy legend. www.nytimes.com/2025/04/21/o...
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
A good, urgent piece. Time is running out. “Capitulation is contagious. But so, too, is courage.” www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archiv...
theatlantic.com
A Ticking Clock on American Freedom
It’s later than you think, but it’s not too late.
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James Fallows @jfallows.bsky.social · 22/04/2025
Almost every line of this story would have been simply unbelievable a few months ago: —Pioneering cancer researcher; —*Arrested* at airport in Boston; —Now indefinite ICE detention in Louisiana; —"Crime": not declaring some frog-embryo samples for research. Read it. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
nbcnews.com
New images could change cancer diagnostics, but ICE detained the Harvard scientist who analyzes them
Without scientist Kseniia Petrova’s expertise, no one can fully unlock the data’s potential, putting crucial advancements in early cancer detection at risk.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
I have very little knowledge of Vatican stuff, but I used to live in St Louis—and man, I really hope Raymond Burke does not become the next pope
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
I’m not a Catholic and I disagree with a lot of the church’s views, but Francis seemed like a world leader with genuine compassion for humanity, and that’s something we sorely need.
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
it's important this go as viral as the original story for morale purposes if nothing else. despite the image they project these people are NOT unaccountable. consequences CAN be forced. focused anger and outrage MATTERS.
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
Jesus is chametz
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Frango ❌️👑 @frangoandfriends.bsky.social · 20/04/2025
@maddow.msnbc.com My dad is 98, WWII USNavy Veteran. Showed up for democracy in San Diego today. "I fought for it once, I'll fight for it again!" 💙🇺🇸💙 THIS is what democracy looks like!!!!
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Orion Rummler @oriion.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
It took Peter Staley two weeks to build 200 full-sized coffins. The longtime AIDS activist, with a group of volunteers, fashioned them out of styrofoam, tape and velcro. On Thursday, the volunteers stacked coffins 10 layers deep outside the State Department to protest cuts to global AIDS relief.
19thnews.org
Activists pile 200 coffins outside State Department to protest cuts to global AIDS relief
Cuts to PEPFAR, the country’s emergency plan for HIV and AIDS relief, have resulted in an estimated 40,000 deaths overseas, analysis shows.
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Sabrina Imbler @sabs.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
unfathomable cruelty www.npr.org/sections/goa...
a photo of a Zambian girl in a yellow dress with the caption: Dorcas Mwanza, 10, took the last of her HIV medications eight days ago. She's developed a fever and chills, among the first symptoms people experience when they go off HIV treatment.
Ben de la Cruz/NPR
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Jewish Dems @jewishdems.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Regardless of whether one agrees with Mohsen Mahdawi, he is entitled to due process under the law and should not be unjustly detained. “This is the Trump administration's M.O. – start with someone they think people won't defend, and then just keep going… Step by step, they'll come for everyone.”
haaretz.com
Jewish, Israeli peers condemn arrest of Palestinian Columbia student over activism
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Timothy Snyder @timothysnyder.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
"We can react by seeing all of this for what it is, and naming it by name: incipient state terror. We can react by associating ourselves with others who are repressed before we are. Only in solidarity do we affirm law."
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Josh Marshall @joshtpm.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
Almost certainly an anti-Semitic hate crime. And the President who is trying to tear up the American university system on the pretext of fighting anti-Semitism hasn't said a word.
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
Calm down, folks, it was just an attempted assassination of a Jewish Democratic governor and his family on the first night of Passover, it’s not like somebody spray painted a dick on a Cybertruck.
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Mark D. Levine @marklevinenyc.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
There was an arson attack on the home of a Jewish governor and his family—on Passover—and the president of the United Stated couldn’t even be bothered to comment. Remember this the next time he claims to be the great defender of the Jewish people.
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Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
The attempt to burn down the Pennsylvania Governor's mansion is pretty clearly an assassination attempt, and it's likely an antisemitic hate crime. It should be referred to that way by political media.
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August J. Pollak @augustjpollak.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
These people just want slavery back. I get it, I know libs/Democrats won't ever say this but it's the actual truth and it's getting tiresome that we have to step around it. They want to literally own people, control them, force them to do whatever they want. That is what slavery is
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Torturing myself by looking at photos of chametz
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Rebecca Saltzman @rebeccasaltzman.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
I was forced to see Cabaret on Broadway this weekend, which I do not recommend if you are feeling stressed about all the fascism. Otherwise it was good!
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 13/04/2025
"Rest assured that the spittle he expectorates is 'somewhat unlikely' to be contagious to 'most people' the 'decent majority' of the time, based on the assessment of a doctor from a YouTube ad selling all-natural ADHD-remedy supplements."
mcsweeneys.net
Our Son Lionel’s Back at School
Dear Miss Julie, As you’re about to discover, we’re sending Lionel back to preschool today after his two-week-long illness-related absence. Althoug...
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