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President Tightrhymes

@prestightrhymes.bsky.social
1.7K followers 578 following 576 posts
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I swear at least 85% of the time I see somebody driving like a complete asshole, they’re driving an Audi, a Benz, or BMW.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
No!
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Random list of people who are 80 years old: Dolly Parton Tim Curry Donald Trump
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Kinda disturbed by this Hobby Lobby display.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Someone said: “One of the great innovations of the 1990s and 2000s was that sociopaths learned how to domesticate nerds.” I’d add that they were also weaponized by tech bros to create their tools of authoritarian surveillance and control, and by the political right into an army of online trolls.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I need another Panos Cosmatos movie. It’s been 8 years already. C’mon, man.
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Reposted by President Tightrhymes
Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
It tries to act all cool and detached but your constant staring makes the abyss feel pretty vulnerable tbh
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
responding to a diss track with a song called Genuinely Thought We Were On Good Terms
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Bone marrow is a delicacy because, while the gelatinous texture may be slightly off-putting, the flavor is also not good.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
The modern drive-thru: Recoding: Hello! Are you using the app? Me: No. *5 minute pause* Worker: Hello! Are you using the app? Me: No. *period of general confusion* Worker: Uh… What do you want?
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Mandy is basically what if Wolverine: X-Men Origins were good.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Let Panos Cosmatos direct a Wolverine movie and do whatever he wants with it.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I bet sometimes JD Pritzker struggles to get hard and his wife is like, “Ope! Here comes Pritzkey dick!”
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
A Storm Pooper shitting everywhere except the toilet.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Watching The Last of Us S1E3 with my daughters: “Why is he Linda Ronstadt mogging?”
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Reposted by President Tightrhymes
Losferatu 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
bsky feature that takes you back to the post you barely caught a glimpse of before you refreshed
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
To get some idea of just how unfathomably massive a trillion dollars is, if you spent $1 trillion every day for one day, you would spend $1 trillion.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
Slogan of a racist cricket society: “Cricket or ticket”
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
You did vote for Trump.
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Reposted by President Tightrhymes
Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
"You have warm eyes." "Thank you. Please get your fingers out of them."
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Joan Baez is still alive!?!?! I thought she died like 30 years ago!!
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
I wish I could making a good living doing something I don’t completely fucking hate.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
Way too many people who consider themselves antiestablishment rebels were told “capitalism good; communism bad” in 2nd grade and then never questioned it again.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
I’m at the age where I’ll hear Aerosmith in a restaurant and think, “Hell yeah! My mom loves this band!” Then I’ll notice a middle aged woman with her kids and think, “Bet she knows what I’m talking about.” Then I realize she’s not my mom’s age; she’s MY age and may not know what I’m talking about.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
There fact that everyone 100 years from now is going to agree with me on social and political issues is very little consolation for all the dumb shit happening now.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
What’s your actor/singer/songwriter name? (Your first name) (your first name)stofferson
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Lately I’ve been paying a lot of attention to successful tech gurus and the leaders of this great nation and I’ve become inspired to become a much bigger idiot and a much bigger asshole.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
People who complain about men’s feet being exposed in public aren’t as bad as the men who want to control what women wear and demand they cover up, but they’re in the same category.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Kid Rock’s name is a shortened version of Kidney Stone because he’s an annoying concentration of piss that’s painful to experience and mostly afflicts older white men.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
I keep hearing about a Roth IRA, but I’ve never seen a Roth IRL.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
I found one of my lil nephews nailing his brother to a cross. They were playing doctor.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 01/02/2026
There are two types of people in the world. Those who think billionaires became billionaires through ethical and legal hard work and determination. And those who have at least some grasp on reality.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
Me to the worm making its way through RFK’s brain: “Girl, you ate!”
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Republicans and democrats are just two balls of the same dick that Trump had in his mouth.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
All my life I felt like I was being lied to. Then I found out what the lie was. Now, the lie has lost all novelty and become mundane.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Companies should stop wasting money on B.S. training materials and instead pay that money your more experienced coworkers who are going to end up being the ones who train you anyway.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
Oh boy… Nazis.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
What if we all got jobs with ICE but then just harassed white people in wealthy areas.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
Conservatives should be offended. That’s how stupid republicans think their constituency is. They think they’ll be confused by 3 simple syllables. “Mam-da-ni?? No thank you! That’s too much for me!”
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
My favorite move out of the “not-racist” Republican playbook is pretending like they can’t pronounce ethnic-sounding, yet very simple, names like Kamala or Mamdani.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
We know these Republican Nazis J.D. Vance is trying to claim are “kids” aren’t children because they’re far too old for Trump and his friends to be attracted to.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
ATTENTION! Wally’s wants everyone to have pissy phones.
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Reposted by President Tightrhymes
Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Ever worry that you are communicating too much unknowingly with your animal trying to use their language "We are the forever couple, we owe this thing a love with honesty. When we're rough around each other I'm thinking of cardboard"
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
I cannot recommend enough Visa’s new cum-free debit cards.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 23/09/2025
The best advice I can give you to working a super corporate job is to wait as long as possible to respond to someone and then when you do, ask them questions that were already answered in the initial correspondence.
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
They got DEI in our tomatoes now!?!?
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
A TV show about an epileptic unlicensed P.I. and his bloodhound partner named “Illegal Search and Seizure.”
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President Tightrhymes @prestightrhymes.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
That was so embarrassing! The wetter we got, the softer I got with my pastatute.
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