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@perjurytraphaus.bsky.social
142 followers 271 following 924 posts

i am the eldest boy

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Nick P @npilon.bsky.social · 19h
It’s embarrassing that CNN is willing to be more blunt about Poilievre’s delusions than Canadian news media, whose reporters regularly choose to take them at face value.
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juli-aaahh!!! (that's me yellin) @bonesnotncluded.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
scrooge, still in his pajamas and cap, excitedly leaning out of a window and exclaiming "then i haven't missed it!"
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Quinta Jurecic @qjurecic.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
trump [waving bible in front of them]: you morons love this shit huh 
[audience going berserk]
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Chemmy @f29.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
#HereComeTheOilers
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Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The White House accord on AI that was signed by all the big tech oligarchs today misspells United States as “Unites States.”
Document signed by Trump, Sundar Pichai
Google
Dario Amodei
Anthropic
Mark Zuckerberg
Meta

Greg Brockman
OpenAl

Elon Musk
XAI

Jensen Huang
nvidia “Unites States”
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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hard to imagine what that would be like
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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Officiant: If anyone present knows of any reason why these two should not be wed— Fan standing up in back of the church: 71 OPS+ by the way
Talkin’ Yanks: Austin Wells is engaged

AmericanMade: Instead of being in the batting cage and working on his hitting while batting .170 on the season, our catcher is doing this bullshit.
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
it’s so funny that always sunny is ranked one spot behind modern family in this lol www.nytimes.com/interactive/...
nytimes.com
The 100 Best TV Shows of the 21st Century
More than 500 influential stars, showrunners and other notable names in the world of TV voted on the best series released since Jan. 1, 2000. See what they chose.
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
on god if I see one ad I’m cancelling immediately
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Breaking: Tilly Norwood has been deleted from the server to make room for best_football_crotchshots.wmv
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I got my laughs in at united but this Brighton team seems pretty good tbf, I respect that they’re willing to go at arsenal
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 29/10/2024
This glass has clear water in it, but your brain sees it as magenta. That's because I changed the color in Photoshop. u/DotaGuy12 on reddit.

image: a glass with magenta water in it.
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
what’s the property tax rate that will get the subway running normal for more than 5 minutes outside of a global sporting event
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
the bad news is there’s no service on a chunk of line 1. But at least the good news the section of line 1 that *is* operating is running at 6km/h
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
good lord is there anywhere or anytime the Toronto subway runs faster than a brisk fucking walk right now??
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Never doing any music trivia nights with Connor I’ll tell u that for free
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I swear Nick folk has been 41 for the last 7 years
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Cube (1997, Dir. Vincenzo Natali) @prototypecube.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
"all empires fall but it's rare you see one jump"
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
wow the patriots catching a break with a west division team losing their starting qb? Now I’ve seen it all
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Mike X. Nichols @mikexnichols.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Thinking about this exchange today
A YouTube video for the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. The comments section has an exchange as detailed below. “@TheMrdangles16 • 11y ago: 
i hate the water temple... too confusing :(“ “@KeithHalsell • 2y ago: 
it's been 9 years, i hope you are doing great in life now.” “@TheMrdangles16 • 2y ago: it couldn't be going worse Keith.”
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I’m trying to book a hotel in Paris and what the hell are these baguette mfs on with these prices
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 07/09/2026
fucked up that nigel farage is a brexiteer and pro-crypto. makes it hard to criticize him, what with him being eurodivergent and a miner
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
???
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Odd Hack @oddhack.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Jason Alexander in Criminal Minds
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Glyn Bowerman @glynbowerman.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Meanwhile, over at the Bradford campaign…
A Warren Kinsella post on X that says: “The sun is out and it's lovely in Toronto. Good thing Olivia Chow practically declared a state of emergency and said that we were going to be facing a torrent of rain, hail and tornadoes.” Dated 3:50pm today
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Jake Goldsbie @jakegoldsbie.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Steve Ballmer with a speech bubble
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
“Podcast allegations” in the first sentence, they are so mad
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DrawPlayDave @thedrawplay.com · 02/09/2026
Kawhi immediately leading Toronto to a second title might be the funniest thing that could happen now
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
did they even make the conference finals? lol
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Jason Concepcion @netw3rk.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
so how do we think this trio got it so wrong? NBA trial balloon? League office mole hunt?
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
this question seems to have already been answered by the clippers’ statement lol
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
What Pablo Torre did was ridiculously impressive. Uncovered a conspiracy between rich guys, withstood a propaganda campaign by one of the richest guys in the world with a pretty good reputation, didn't buckle or panic, and just kept reporting. That's some Pulitzerin' right there.
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
my main q about the clippers thing is whether this took so long because the league was sussing out what punishment the clippers would swallow
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
absolutely
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
taking cues from the American maga line of “why weren’t people upset when Obama renamed stuff in entirely different contexts”
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
death, taxes, and unai emery teams treating every arsenal game like it’s the World Cup final
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
doing the longest slowest whistle of all time
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Jonesy @loanseyjonesy.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
lol good luck navigating 14 tariff regimes in one country, Jim Beam
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I’m signing an executive order to rename Lake Michigan to Lake Ontario II
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
JKR had her chance at a future where she would be remembered forever for getting kids to fall in love with reading, and instead she will be remembered as a stochastic terrorist on the wrong side of one of 21st century history’s foremost civil rights battles, and I do think that’s somewhat sinking in
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I’m very annoyed because I can’t seem to find any photos of that and now im worried I made it up in my head
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
this bit always reminds of the warriors (?) fan who brought a poster to a game that said LeBron would no longer be known as king James and would instead be known as loser cry baby James or something like that
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
trade talks in the sense of “talking” about “trading” away Canadian sovereignty?
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
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Dan Why-Ner @danweiner.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
It's only August but we have a goal of the season candidate in the English Championship from Bristol City's Dom Ballard.
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Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
My friend: “Did you see that video of Kacey Musgraves performing while seated on disco truck nuts?” Me: “…what?” [looks up video] Me: “You know, I honestly I don’t know what I was expecting.”
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
United lost to Hull??? Good lord we might win the league by 40 pts this year
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I think the cumulative points earned between the three contestants going into final jeopardy was like 8000, and they get three fuckin rounds in this show!!!
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cig-3PO @perjurytraphaus.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
watched ep 4 of espn jeopardy last night and just got mad again because it was the worst game of jeopardy I’ve ever seen
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