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Ralph Jones

@ohhiralphjones.bsky.social
388 followers 571 following 407 posts

Comedy writer-performer, author, journalist. Triple threat but no one's scared. mrralphjones.co.uk My new book here: www.bloomsbury.com/uk/microphone-97…

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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 18h
If you're using or recommending AI by this point, you need to know you are a total fucking moron. www.avclub.com/ai-new-yorke...
avclub.com
AI has come for comics on stage and in The New Yorker
AI has come for comics on stage and in The New Yorker
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Splinter @splinternews.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The AI slop videos proliferating in the dark corners of Facebook are doing a hell of a psychological number on the baby boomers. Story: www.jezebel.com/ai-videos-cr... #AI #AISlop #AIVideos #scams #facebook #scammers
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Do I know anyone who knows anyone at Maximum Fun?
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The Author, Séamas O'Reilly @seamas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If you're in my GP's office any time soon, prepare yourself for what many are calling the greatest mnemonic of all time. Come for E and P, but sit down and clap for I.
A screen in my GP's office advertising a mnemonic of signs to spot SEPSIS.

S slurred speech of confusion 
E extreme shivering or muscle pain 
P passing no urine all day
S severe breathlessness
I ot feels like you are going to die
S skin mottled or discoloured
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yes, you can read my review of JD Vance's vacuous memoir right here. newhumanist.org.uk/articles/jd-...
newhumanist.org.uk
JD Vance’s accidentally hilarious memoir
The vice president displays neither self-awareness nor an understanding of irony in this strange book
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New Humanist @newhumanist.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
JD Vance’s accidentally hilarious memoir. 'The vice president displays neither self-awareness nor an understanding of irony in this strange book'. Ralph Jones reviews: Communion – Finding My Way Back to Faith for New Humanist. Read the full review on our website. newhumanist.org.uk/articles/jd-...
The vice president displays neither self-awareness nor an understanding of irony When Vance laments the erosion of Christianity in public life over the last century, he writes, “If the Titanic is going down I’d rather be on board than hop on a lifeboat.” You only need to look at his life, however, to recognise that not only would he have leaped onto the first vessel available but that he would have elbowed elderly women out of the way in order to get the best seat.Ralph Jones, New Humanist Autumn 2026 edition
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"And the winner? Who do you bloody think?" Good piece from @dispatchmedia.bsky.social on a gurning championship. Gobbled it up - course I did. dispatch-media.com/the-ugliest-...
dispatch-media.com
The ugliest face in Britain
Ged Eccles has always dreamed of being World Gurning Champion • This year, he had one last shot • 'It means everything to me'
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I am again pointing out, insufferably of course, that my book has been reviewed in the LRB.
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Dave Vetter @davidrvetter.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Happy Kicked In The Head By A Horse Day, to all who celebrate. It's the 7th anniversary of this absolute banger.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Gobsmacked at the thought that's gone into this review of my book in the - and I cannot stress this enough - London Review of Books. www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...
lrb.co.uk
David Trotter · A Fly’s Footfall: On the Mic
The point about the microphone as a visual aid is a minor one. Behind it lies a more fundamental question. What does the...
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Speed dating
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Riddles.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
A great show that has been kind enough to have me on twice, playing Skeletor and a swan. Buy your tickets!
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Alex Winter @alexwinter.com · 08/09/2026
RT if you've never had a tab of ChatGPT open, period.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Lovely, great, fascinating. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
newyorker.com
What Happens When Someone Throws a Message in a Bottle Into the Sea?
The letters can travel the world for years. One enthusiast is on a quest to find them—and to track down the writers behind them. Lauren Collins reports from an expedition.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
An Israel apologist who's made a film about bitcoin and defends AI because it's inevitable? What a catch!
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
You can't believe some people are gone. The tunes. The hair. The huge breasts. Ratko Mladic, you will be sorely missed.
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New Humanist @newhumanist.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
@dorianlynskey.bsky.social says Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is a frighteningly relevant epic for our times, @petertatchell.bsky.social looks at Cuba’s queer rights revolution, and @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social reviews JD Vance’s accidentally hilarious memoir.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Go on then. Just one more.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Who is Steve Bennett, the most powerful man in comedy reviewing? I profiled him for @newstatesman1913.bsky.social. www.newstatesman.com/culture/2026...
newstatesman.com
The most powerful man at the Edinburgh Fringe
Chortle, Steve Bennett’s website, can make a comedian's career – or break it
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
4:54 minutes of total joy. Oh God. www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWdQ...
youtube.com
British Pork: It’s Got the Lot | SNL UK
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live UK
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Argh - so incredibly proud and pleased for @lukekennard.bsky.social, one of the funniest writers on the planet.
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Greg Donovan @gregsdonovan.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Selling perfume or fast cars can be an advertiser’s dream. But advertising things we’re ashamed to buy makes the job uglier & more complicated. How do you effectively market products no one wants to talk about? [ @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social @thehustle.bsky.social ] thehustle.co/originals/ho...
thehustle.co
How do you sell the most unappealing products in the world?
With humor, surprise, and a decent heap of reality
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
I did my first ever solo show the other day. You know what? Absolute delight. Bloody fun. Looking forward to parading it around the place.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Just fire this colossal fucking idiot. www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlYa...
youtube.com
Politician reads AI prompt during assembly
YouTube video by news.com.au
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Should you live in Oxford? Yes. And should you live in Oxford, there are very few tickets left for this Friday's debut solo show of mine - AN HOUR YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK. www.oxfordplayhouse.com/events/ralph...
oxfordplayhouse.com
Ralph Jones: An Hour You'll Never Get Back | Oxford Playhouse
Oh hello. You all right? Good, good. Now - Ralph Jones would love you to come and feast at his table of character comedy. It's absolutely heaving with peop
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Lisa Holdsworth @lisaholdsworth.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Microsoft is planning to build three massive AI data centres in Leeds. It’ll drain thousands of litres of water from the River Aire and become the city's biggest carbon emitter. We can still stop the council's sign-off, but we need more voices. Add your name: you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/pr...
you.38degrees.org.uk
Stop the Microsoft AI megasite in Leeds!
Microsoft wants to build three huge AI data centres at Skelton Grange. It would drain the River Aire and become the city's biggest carbon emitter. We can still stop it - add your name to the petition.
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Dorian Lynskey @dorianlynskey.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Killer attack line. Britain will not stand for a man with eyelashes and a strong jaw who memorises his speeches
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The Guardian @theguardian.com · 20/07/2026
New York sculptor spent $100,000 to make a Charlie Kirk statue no one wants to buy
theguardian.com
New York sculptor spent $100,000 to make a Charlie Kirk statue no one wants to buy
Sergio Furnari said he thought the lifesize sculpture – which no one commissioned – would raise ‘millions’ of dollars A New York sculptor has been left furious after spending $100,000 of his own money to build a lifesize statue of Charlie Kirk, only to find that no one wants to buy it. Sergio Furnari, originally from Italy, had hoped the statue of the deceased far-right activist, which he intends to display in Times Square, would raise “millions” of dollars. Instead, he said he has been inundated by messages from people saying they intend to urinate on the sculpture. Continue reading...
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It's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Oh wow, a podcast about two celebrities who are in the same family having an unscripted bit of a chat? God, that's so unique, you'd never find that anywhere else! I'm glad this is happening instead of new scripted comedy.
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Justin Baragona @justinbaragona.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
"Best! Beat! Ever!" (proceeds to tell an anecdote about a senator telling her to go buy a dress before she's allowed to write a story about him in the wake of a racist mass shooting)
Like anyone who’s spent any time around politics, I have many Lindsey Graham stories. This is perhaps my favorite…

I was covering Congress (Best! Beat! Ever!) for the NYT when the Mother Emanuel shooting happened in Charleston. It was summer, but I was wearing pants and a sweater that day because it was always SO freezing in the Capitol. Anyhow, news of the shooting came down, and the DC Bureau chief called me with an order: Get yourself to Charleston ASAP and glue yourself to Graham’s side. She wanted a piece on the senator grappling with the unimaginable. So I headed straight to the airport, arriving in Charleston with just my backpack and what I’d be wearing to work that day, and linked up with Graham.

He had me meet him at a restaurant, where I told him I needed to shadow him for the next 48 hours. And he looked at me, with amused distaste, and said: “You are sticky. And you are icky. If you want to shadow me, go buy some nice new clothes—maybe a dress—and take a shower, and then we’ll talk.” (He was not wrong; I was sweaty and gross). 

So I drove to a local big box store, bought a dress (he seemed to have a strong preference for a dress), and spent the next few days with him, resulting in this piece (which, for reasons not worth getting into, ended up being fairly different than the original assignment):
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
I don't think any organisation with a link to sexual abuse should be called 'Pegs'. www.theguardian.com/society/2026...
theguardian.com
‘It’s so unthinkable’: the parents sexually abused by their children
UK support group says more women are seeking help for experiences that one mother calls ‘lifelong punishment’
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Idil @idilsukan.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
People sometimes are incredibly cool and we should remember this and aspire toward it and fill up feeds and media with it as an elixir
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Gaia Vince @wanderinggaia.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Love this excellent advice
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Right Wing Watch @rightwingwatch.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Pastor Martin Sedra fumes that "America has created this gay version of Jesus Christ": "Jesus was not effeminate. Jesus was a bold lion. I always tell people Jesus was not a soft guy. He had six packs. He was the most ripped guy you'll ever meet."
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I Am Incorrigible @imincorrigible.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
#R4Today spent this morning warmly eulogising Ann Widdecombe. Almost none of what they said was wrong. Almost none of it was complete. Here's what they left out. 🧵
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
My thoughts at this time are with Josh Widdicombe, Ann's devoted husband.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Couldn't agree less. Brilliant film. www.vulture.com/article/the-...
vulture.com
The Invite Is Occasionally Funny, But That’s About It
Olivia Wilde returns to directing with a stagy, uneven comedy starring Seth Rogen.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Jesus fucking Christ, The Invite is good.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
It's a year to the day since I wrote this Vice piece about a colossal scammer who claims to have the highest IQ on the planet. www.vice.com/en/article/w...
vice.com
The ‘World's Smartest Man’ Absolutely Hates Me
With an apparent score of 276, YoungHoon Kim claims to have the highest IQ on the planet. Just don't ask him to prove it.
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
For the Sunday Times Magazine I trekked to the biggest supermarket in Europe - a Swedish store that is bigger than 15 football pitches and has its own hotel, sauna, crazy golf, police station, and doggy daycare. www.thetimes.com/world/europe...
thetimes.com
My trolley dash round Europe’s biggest supermarket (with its own hotel)
Gekas in Sweden is so massive and cheap that people travel from all over the country to shop there. It even has its own hotel and campsite. Ralph Jones stays the night to stock up
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John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Some Clacton voters shining in this FT report too. “Where’s the scrutiny on Keir Starmer?” asks one, referring to the prime minister who has been so thoroughly and critically scrutinised from all quarters for the past two years that he recently resigned. giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/...
Down the road, another group of locals label the government a "waste of space", asking: "Where's the scrutiny on the others? Where's the scrutiny on Keir
Starmer?"
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
I have some gigantic news.
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James Hamilton @jameshamiltonwriter.com · 04/07/2026
Aside from all the other reasons this is shit: they literally didn’t need AI, or anything even resembling a computer, to help them organise themselves and draft the Declaration. This ad is basically “hey, what if you could achieve the exact same results you did without AI… with AI?”
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
If you live in Oxford - and why wouldn't you, eh? - everyone's saying you should come see me do my debut solo show at the @oxfordplayhouse.bsky.social on July 24. Everyone is saying it! Loudly and repeatedly! www.oxfordplayhouse.com/events/ralph...
oxfordplayhouse.com
Ralph Jones: An Hour You'll Never Get Back | Oxford Playhouse
Oh hello. You all right? Good, good. Now - Ralph Jones would love you to come and feast at his table of character comedy. It's absolutely heaving with peop
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Writers' Guild of Great Britain @writersguildgb.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Cuts to the BBC will be devastating for writers, other creators, audiences + all those who love our oldest public service broadcaster Join us to campaign against the cuts: • Sign the petition • Share a campaign video from @bectu.bsky.social • Write to your MP writersguild.org.uk/bbc-cuts-our...
writersguild.org.uk
BBC cuts – our response - The Writers' Guild of Great Britain
Creative freelancers will be left reeling by the recent announcement of large-scale cuts to the BBC. This is devastating news and further details are continuing to emerge. We are speaking to …
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Tomorrow will be a good day INDEED. wegottickets.com/f/22302
wegottickets.com
Don't Be Yourself - Anna Leong Brophy, Charlie Mulliner, and more
It's Nick Offerman's 56th birthday and we're celebrating the only way we know how at Don't Be Yourself - by hosting a character comedy night called Don't Be Yourself. June is here, and we present to ...
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Ralph Jones @ohhiralphjones.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Come to Don’t Be Yourself on FRIDAY and you could win this incredible prize. wegottickets.com/f/22302
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public health guy @publichealthguy1.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
*laughs nervously* what the fuck? www.wsj.com/lifestyle/fi...
Cheryl Hines, Kennedy's wife, said last year that Kennedy wakes up at 6:30 every morning to cook steak and eat sauerkraut.
"We'll be in the car, dressed up. I'll have my little clutch, right? One of my good bags that I only take out every once in a while, because I want to keep them nice," Hines recalled in an interview on Katie Miller's podcast. "And he'll hand me a bag of sauerkraut and say, 'Can you put this in your bag?' And I'll say, 'I actually cannot?"
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