Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 14/05/2026I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ill-fitting suit. Impressive. 071
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 14/05/2026surely the next post scolding people about still being on twitter will be the one that brings Elon musk’s empire crashing down 000
Reposted by Iankate @katewitko.bsky.social · 26/03/2026i love gen xers because they are legally obligated to identify themselves as such so it makes it easy to immediately disregard the rest of the post and move on with your life 38711
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 18/12/2025hopefully David Blaine can make the allegations disappear. 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 24/10/2025your 🫵 mother is so fat she is scientifically classified as megafauna 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 16/10/2025I would like to have no arms or legs or head or torso or mind or spirit or soul 010
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 13/10/2025saw a bumper sticker of Calvin pissing on the words “breast cancer.” real shame to see people still believing in urine therapy in 2025. 020
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 28/09/2025if the medbed can’t grow your dick bigger I really don’t gaf 010
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 22/09/2025unlocking my phone so those Left Behind have access to all my gay porn 1321
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 19/09/2025this is a whole thread but I thought he slipped up and posted his ghatgpt prompt 120
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 22/08/2025idle hands are the devils workshop which is why I masturbate as often and as long as I can 000
Reposted by Iantinybaby @tiny.baby · 20/08/2025everything going on has changed my mind pretty firmly: we should be discriminating against Christians 52769112
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 19/08/2025The philosopher Plato once said there’s no such thing as a free labubu 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 09/07/2025one thing you’re gonna do is wear the hell out of a suit 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 20/05/2025made a batch of chocolate chip cookies last night that have to chill until thursday evening… feeling like a bene gesserit… my plans are measured in centuries… 000
Reposted by IanQuoProQuid @quoproquid.bsky.social · 19/05/2025one of my interests is shirley temple's 1967 congressional race, which she entered with millions of dollars and higher name recognition than the pope, and lost because she was really off-putting and campaigning as a viciously pro-war candidate at the exact moment the war was becoming a big liability 1237664
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Save me $300 Lego Star Wars Jango Fett’s Starship… save me 010
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 02/04/2025unlike mizz whozza whazzit I find the misogyny on display here sickening. 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 26/03/2025Tommy was right. Sometimes a day is a cromulent fuckcrustable. Sometimes you do needy drinky. 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 18/03/2025chopping J*mes C*rv*lle into little wet chunks with a sharp axe and feeding the chunks to a large herd of alligators 👈💯🤞✊👍 000
Reposted by IanMike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 09/03/2025SUPERMODEL: Wow his rib cage is shaped like a milk crate that got stored too near a gas water heater. He'd be perfect if only he also had pieces of broken plastic in his penis. ELON MUSK: Silence heifer. I am "intellimaxxing" by concentrating on the largest number that can fit in a single digit: 9. 81185150
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 10/01/2025I don’t mean it when I tell you That I don’t love you anymore 🗣️ 010
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 10/01/2025Yes, everybody’s going to need a witness, everybody’s going to need a little backup in case the scene gets nasty 110
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 17/12/2024saw on the news people were hearing a strange drone in New Jersey. yeah turns out it was your mother in law’s voice 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 16/12/2024the closest theater playing Queer is 80+ miles away fuck my Pennsylvania chungus life 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 10/12/2024Donald trump speaking huttese Donald trump speaking fluent huttese Donald trump floors rodian bartender in Jabba’s palace by ordering bantha milk in fluent huttese 020
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 10/12/2024this time we will find out exactly how palpatine returned 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 10/12/2024after the live action remake of rogue one I’d love to tackle a live action remake of the sequel trilogy 110
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 09/12/2024Here’s why it’s time for a critical reevaluation of Jack and Jill (2011) 000
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 09/12/2024Toilets should have a built in scale so you can measure your morning steamer 010
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 09/12/2024after Andor season two I’d love to see Tony Gilroy tackle a live action remake of rogue one 220
Ian @nocoffinplease.bsky.social · 04/12/2024They’re calling him the first guy to post his Spotify wrapped on bluesky 120
