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Nick Baumann

@nickbaumann.bsky.social
932 followers 574 following 516 posts

Politics Editor at The Washington Post | Pats fan. Eagle Scout. Beer pong aficionado. | 202.630.2380 | Signal: nickbaumann.97 | Usual disclaimers

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Reposted by Nick Baumann
The Onion @theonion.com · 6h
40-Year-Old Not Active Enough To Realize Body Falling Apart theonion.com/40-year-old-not-active…
40-Year-Old Not Active Enough To Realize Body Falling Apart
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alix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 4h
wild to be living in a world with live-streamed state executions and legal daylight kidnappings, but every time you turn around some loser is saying, hey man, what if art were completely frictionless? what if we killed even the possibility of human connection??
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alix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 4h
the year is 2030 and i no longer consume anything that isn't personalized to me. every game, every book, every movie extends to the limits of my own imagination and no further. i haven't been surprised in five years. i cry softly, in bewilderment, if i see a word i don't know
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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
men who sacrifice liberty for bibberty deserve neither
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President Werewolf G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Oh no
Screenshot of tweet (sorry) from @byron_queen that says “finally reading House of Leaves” and below is the standard Domino’s delivery pizza box, covered in words and pictures about pizza, a cacophony of visual noise that goes beyond gaudy and teeters on the brink of old timey farmers almanac pizza madness.
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The Lexorcist @lexidarlingxoxo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I’m at the Pizza Hut. I’m at the house of leaves. I’m at the combi s n e a v t a i e o l n fo esuoh & tuh azzip
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Dave Infante @dinfontay.com · 08/10/2026
I've seen enough: Vodka-spiked "ade" was the drink of Summer 2026. www.fingers.email/p/the-drink-...
Consider the evidence. Sales of Super Lyte—the entry from Surfside maker Stateside Brands that quickly consolidated de facto leadership over the lucrative pseudo-segment after launching this past March—went absolutely gangbusters throughout beach season, blowing through astonishing 2.3 million cases through the end of the third quarter. “As of today, we’re at 500,000 cases just this month,” he told Brewbound’s Jess Infante in a report filed September 30th. 

Never afraid to belatedly jump on Stateside’s coattails, Sun Cruiser parent company Boston Beer Company signaled plans in July to begin trialing its own vodka-based ade, Rally Dog, for a 2027 release. Independent comer Good Boy Vodka did likewise in August, teasing an ade line extension called Lyte that seems sure to attract a Stateside cease-and-desist. And just today, accidental macrobrewer Constellation Brands announced an acquisition of Spiked Ade worth up to $353 million on the back of that brand’s strong performance in its first full year on shelves.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/10/2026
“Holy shit, I didn’t think things could be any more amazing than they already were after drinking a couple beers and splitting some nachos, but then right at the end—bang!—he throws out ‘It’s been real’ and sends me straight to nirvana.” — Josh Mankowitz, hangout participant
theonion.com
Phrase ‘It’s Been Real’ Pushes Already Great Hangout With Friend Into Heretofore Unknown Levels Of Bliss
BATON ROUGE, LA—Enhancing the top-tier socializing in ways that would have seemed impossible just moments previously, the phrase “It’s been real” pushed an already great hangout with a friend into her...
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The Downballot @the-downballot.com · 07/10/2026
Quite the stat from the Washington Post about how the GOP's massive spending on ads is nowhere close to as scary for Democrats as it looks: In Dallas, Republican groups had to spend *five* times as much as James Talarico "for just 30 percent more impact." www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
has anyone looked at a map of texas lately? very big
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/10/2026
Woman Suddenly Realizes She Same Age Parents Were When They Were Her Age theonion.com/woman-suddenly-realize…
Woman Suddenly Realizes She Same Age Parents Were When They Were Her Age
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Republicans’ massive money advantage has yet to reshape the midterm map, as Democrats keep expanding their ambitions, @iarnsdorf.bsky.social reports: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
Half a billion dollars in GOP spending does little to move polls
Republicans’ massive money advantage has yet to reshape the midterm map, as Democrats keep expanding their ambitions.
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
people talk about a Texas Republican dummymander but unless they net -1 seats it is not a dummymander, just a really bad year!
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
“Just as Camp David, Windsor Castle, or the Elysee Palace are known worldwide, so too will the Presidential Golf Course in Palm Beach County." www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
Trump wants to turn his West Palm Beach golf course into the new Camp David
The plan calls for the federal government to be granted part of the property, with the rest maintained as a private course.
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The Fig Economy @figgityfigs.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Sometimes my wife and I like to send each other text messages as though they’re democratic fundraising messages, and I believe she has produced the jewel of the form.
, it's
and I
have some personal news to share with you.
Being a mom is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I feel deeply that we should have salad tonight
This year has been challenging in many ways, and I have immense gratitude for the kindness and support of family, community, and people like you who have continued to stand by me through everything. It means the world, and I wanted you to be among the first to know that squash is in the oven and kale is in the fridge.As many of you are aware, ve been navigating one of the most challenging periods of my day while waiting for dinner.
Facing baseless federal hunger brought on by not eating since lunch, fighting for the working kids of this country, and now caring for a mean toddler and helping him grow up in a world that isn't always easy. But it has also reminded me exactly why I do this work and who I do it for.
I will never stop working to eat dinner. I will never stop fighting for what is right, even when there is also some feta in the fridge. And I will never stop being so very thankful that you are by my side in this important work and that there is tahini in the pantry for dressing
With love and gratitude,
stop to end
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alix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
10yo asked what i did at the festival and i said oh it's a book festival, so i just talked about my books, and he said "yikes" under his breath
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alix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
if i haven't talked to you about the vorkosigan saga yet please know I'm only biding my time.
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Adam Serwer @adamserwer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This book had me sleeping with the lights on when i was six bsky.app/profile/slee...
The cover of Scary Stories to tell in the dark
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Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
last week: I don't think I'm gonna be seeing Digger this week: maybe I should actually see Digger
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The Onion @theonion.com · 04/10/2026
Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Clay Pot Shards From Dwelling Of Earliest Known Klutz theonion.com/archaeologists-unearth…
Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Clay Pot Shards From Dwelling Of Earliest Known Klutz
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
being on a boat that gets sunk by a sperm whale...honestly has to be a real thrill, for the right person www.nytimes.com/2026/10/03/w...
nytimes.com
Whale Batters a Yacht, Leaving Its Crew Stranded for 18 Hours
Four people were rescued after being adrift in a life raft in the South Pacific. One of them said he thought he had a better chance of winning the lottery than of being hit by a whale.
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
this story begins with a simple premise: what if that conference-room scene from Hail Caesar became an entire movie www.nytimes.com/2026/09/29/u...
nytimes.com
Religious Scholars Met With Anthropic. What They Heard Stunned Them.
In a series of private meetings, the company consulted religious scholars to help instill morality into its A.I. models — and make the case that Claude could be conscious.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Yeah that does seem pretty important
Sources: Baker Mayfield return hinges on when QB can grip football
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Upzone New Jersey 🏗️ @upzonenj.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
They're building the rent-increasing machine, from the legendary sci-fi novel, "don't build the rent-increasing machine."
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Michael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Most TV is just this now.
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
went to Iowa to see what all the fuss is about www.motherjones.com/politics/202...
motherjones.com
Rob Sand says he Isn't trying to turn Iowa blue. It just might happen anyway.
In a midterms wave fueled by resistance and revenge, the Democratic candidate for governor is singing a different tune.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 29/09/2026
You have lots of limitations. Spending shouldn't be one of them. store.theonion.com/products/the-eve…
'The Events Depicted In 'Star Wars' Headline T-Shirt
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Aging is known to make bladders stiffer and make their muscles weaker, meaning older people tend to have to pee more." www.washingtonsun.com/congress/hou...
washingtonsun.com
The Best Place to Catch a Lawmaker? Where They Pee.
The facilities next to the lavish antechamber off the House floor are where many senior lawmakers make frequent stops.
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amy brown 👻 @amybrown.xyz · 27/09/2026
out on the road today I saw a wojack sticker on a cybertruck
cybertruck with a bumper sticker of the NPC meme that says ROCKET MAN BAD
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Dolphin Pilot @theamitie.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Nepo baby won fat bear week 🙄
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lindsey adler @lindseyadler.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
that's why his pants are so big. they're full of time100 next awards.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"Let every troll be a reminder that, once upon a time—and hopefully for a little while longer—people liked to read articles on the internet." slate.com/life/2026/09...
slate.com
Slate’s Commenters Have Been Trolling My Writing for Years. I Finally Asked Why. I’ll Never Look at Them the Same.
A story of love, death, and unlikely friendship.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"When more than one male writer I respect published essays on how Bandit is the father figure they most look up to — Bandit is a cartoon dog — I worried that these gentlemen were going through something." www.washingtonpost.com/style/2026/0...
washingtonpost.com
Column | What’s the best TV show for kids? After a long search, I have the answer.
A critic spends hundreds of hours in the weird and wonderful world of television for young children.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"In 2021 Denmark produced 39 episodes of a children’s show called 'John Dillermand' that was about the adventures of a middle-aged man and his very, very, very, very, very long penis." www.washingtonpost.com/style/2026/0...
washingtonpost.com
Column | What’s the best TV show for kids? After a long search, I have the answer.
A critic spends hundreds of hours in the weird and wonderful world of television for young children.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Doctors have wide discretion in how to handle unpaid bills. They can decide when to involve a debt collector, file lawsuits or drop the debt entirely if a patient seems unable to pay." www.nytimes.com/2026/09/08/u...
nytimes.com
A Doctor Sued 700 Patients for Debts; 81 Were Arrested. Now He’s a Senator.
Patients sued by Senator Roger Marshall of Kansas were routinely charged 18 percent interest, The Times found. Some had bank accounts garnished.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/09/2026
‘This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,’ Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago theonion.com/this-here-is-probably-…
‘This Here Is Probably Our Bestselling Love Seat,’ Says Man Who Would Have Been Powerful, Revered Warrior 4,000 Years Ago
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Asawin Suebsaeng @swin24.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I read this as they’re all saying the same thing: they’re saying MARK HALPERIN
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Ed BooOOooOOmila @edburmila.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“Austrian Painter” to the tune of Eleanor Rigby
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Classic example of a "Hitler guy" in the wild here. defector.com/racehorse-ow...
defector.com
Racehorse Owner Told To Rename His Hitleresque Steed | Defector
The Jockey Club, the leading sanctioning body in what’s left of the sport of horse racing in the U.S., sent out a clear message Wednesday to anybody thinking of naming their horse after Hitler: Don’t ...
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hey no offense man but shouldn’t I be asking YOU stuff like this? I’m not the damn World War II museum.
Cheesy fundraising mailer from The National WWII Museum with one of the fake handwritten notes asking, “Kenneth, did someone in the Jennings family serve in World War II?”
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Tim Murphy @timothypmurphy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
when the train across the platform closes its doors right as your train arrives...that's because the conductor hates you, personally. it's probably because of something you said.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"It takes longer to get permits in Boston than to build a house in Phoenix." www.theargumentmag.com/p/how-to-kil...
theargumentmag.com
How to kill housing with paperwork
It takes longer to get permits in Boston than to build a house in Phoenix
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
found a new type of guy
r/AmItheAsshole
Join
u/IntrusiveGas • 6h
AITA for correcting my girlfriend's family every time they mispronounce my turtle's name?
I have a turtle named Geoff. Yes I know Geoff is normally pronounced Jeff. His isnt. My girlfriend's family knows this and still calls him Jeff basically every time his name comes up.
His name starts with /dz/ instead of the normal American English J sound /d3/. So regular Geoff/Jeff is roughly /dzef/ and his is /dzef/. They are similar but they are NOT the same consonant. /d3/ is a voiced postalveolar affricate and /dz/ is a voiced retroflex affricate. Basically you make the beginning of "Jeff" with the tongue farther back/retracted, which gives it a harder, deeper "dzh" sound.
I'm really into etymology and historical linguistics so the spelling was intentional too. Geoff is already a weird spelling from a modern English perspective because gives you basically no reason to predict /dzef/ unless you already know the name. Obviously I am NOT claiming medieval Geoffrey was pronounced / dzef/. I
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K. Thor Jensen @kthorjensen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Please, I need this. I’m very sick.
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Onion Sports @onionsports.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Rockies Pitcher Pledges To Give Up Home Run For Sick Child theonion.com/rockies-pitc...
Rockies Pitcher Pledges To Give Up Home Run For Sick Child
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Le code, c'est moi! www.washingtonpost.com/investigatio...
washingtonpost.com
‘I am the code’: Trump clashed with ballroom architect over safety issues
James McCrery II resigned in October after warning that the president was insisting on designs that violated fire and safety codes.
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Nick Baumann @nickbaumann.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
How a university famous for educating Hispanic students decided to let its campus police officers double as ICE agents: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
washingtonpost.com
Hispanics flock to this university. It let campus police double as ICE agents.
Leaders of Florida International University signed an agreement to deputize its school police as immigration agents. Some wish they had put up more of a fight.
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Molly Redden @mtredden.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Former Navatek executives, meanwhile, looked back with awe at how far their money went. “It was eye-opening for me, frankly,” said one. “‘Oh my God, all of it is for sale. It’s all for sale.’” READ MORE: www.propublica.org/article/fbi-...
propublica.org
The FBI Anti-Corruption Squad Was Circling Susan Collins — Until Trump Got in the Way
After the FBI caught a defense contractor’s CEO making illegal campaign contributions, it sought to launch a sweeping political bribery probe involving Collins and others. Then the second Trump admini...
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Molly Redden @mtredden.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Collins’ office “vigorously” denied Kao’s bribery allegations, calling them “outlandish” The anti-corruption agents on the case were pushed out in Trump’s purge of the FBI. An FBI spokesman defended their ouster and said the bureau “ultimately found nothing” implicating Collins.
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Molly Redden @mtredden.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
ProPublica is revealing the existence of the case for the first time. These are the kinds of corruption claims Trump’s DOJ ignores. So we did our own investigation—knocking on doors as far away as Hawaii, looking at thousands of records that got the FBI to take Kao seriously
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