Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Wife: *walks into kitchen at 5am* Me: *stuffing frozen turkey with explosives* 031 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Hello random internet person sharing that you are doing an activity that is good for mind and body. You must be a fat fuck with hormone problems. 030 0
Reposted by MurdoxJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 27/11/2024posting "Listen up, shitewhistles. Here's how you cook a Thanksgiving turkey without all the fuckery. Affix thy seatbelts and prepare for amazeballs." after cooking a thanksgiving turkey for the first time in my life that frankly was not very good 1355542297 0
Reposted by MurdoxNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Four out of five dentists: *agree* Fifth dentist: You should brush your teeth with a lollipop 2250996 0
Reposted by Murdoxceej @ceej.online · 28/11/2024pouring the blue gatorade in the toilet bowl so my guests know I cleaned 603995548 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 28/11/2024Just sit my soup bucket out on the front porch and the delivery person will fill it up? Right? 110 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 27/11/2024I’d like to speak with you about your car’s extended warranty 010 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 27/11/2024Me: I don’t know why I’m so anxious all the time. Also Me: Flight takes off in 4 hours and I still haven’t packed. 020 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 27/11/2024This is my most successful post. I clearly don’t understand how this website works. 020 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024I understand admiring success, but not purely on the basis of wealth especially when it’s the result of exploitation. 030 0
Reposted by MurdoxBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 26/11/2024I kept hearing my cat chewing last night under the bed and finally I checked it out and he had been eating an entire box of Cheez It’s 673172531007 0
Reposted by MurdoxYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 26/11/2024[being murdered] murderer: *murdering* me: fyi this is illegal murderer: (stops murdering) hang on WHAT 430651 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024The beautiful faces of the AI that will one day kill us all! 050 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Random person (trying to get my attention): *waves* Hey! Me (wearing headphones with nothing playing): *points to ears, shrugs, and keeps walking* 000 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Thanks for sharing. My favorite lines: “I wear a tuxedo to bed in case a dinner part breaks out” “When we dance I’m orbiting the sun, one foot in the flame, one in the frost.” 110 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024If this is real then amazing! If it’s some kind of bit then still amazing. 110 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024I eat the silica gel packs first so they don’t get in the way of my snacking. 120 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Brilliantmedia.tenor.coma man in a tuxedo and bow tie is sitting in an auditorium and clapping his hands .ALT: a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is sitting in an auditorium and clapping his hands . 020 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Since I’m a small account, my followers get more personal attention. Hungry? I’ll make you a nice sandwich. Need to borrow a dollar? Here, take a fiver! Having trouble reaching that spot in the shower? Let me give you a hand. 030 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024It’s wild how there’s more misinformation now than ever before. Back before the internet, someone would just say something, and everyone believed them. Saw the Loch Ness monster? Holy shit, incredible! Smoking cigs boosts your sperm count? Light me up! 020 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024Don’t forget to leave corn out for the holiday turkey the night before Thanksgiving, or it won’t leave any giblets under your tree. 040 0
Murdox @murdox.bsky.social · 26/11/2024bsky.app/profile/inco...media.tenor.coma gollum from the lord of the rings says `` it 's tricky ''ALT: a gollum from the lord of the rings says `` it 's tricky '' 120 0
