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Mr_Roarbert

@mr-roarbert.bsky.social
58 followers 49 following 1.5K posts
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Carter Lowe @whitesoxx.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
They are cooking up food in the #WhiteSox stadium that you cannot possibly comprehend
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Fred, His Enemy Getting a Vote @thefred.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My patrician told me Phoenicians keep eating his consuls so I asked how many consuls he has and he said he just goes to Fields of Mars and has a dictator for elections send him a suffect consul afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding consuls to Phoenicians and then Two started crying.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I have an 11:00 calendar invite today for an event called "11:30 meeting." Just phenomenal.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
For a while it was saying South Carolina, and it turns out I'm too from North Carolina not to get really mad about that.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I hate when a one time code is just random numbers and not something that makes sense to my brain.
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Professor Peter Matthews @urbaneprofessor.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
This frontispiece in my book just made me laugh a lot. Is this Buddhist reincarnation, or some other form of afterlife?
Bram Stoker
1847-1912
A PENGUIN SINCE 1979
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
When I started sixth grade math, the teacher asked us what the term for a fraction that had a bigger number in the numerator than the denominator was. All my brain could think of was that my fifth grade teacher had called them "Dolly Parton Fractions."
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Now all we need to do is get rid of Lake Erie somehow and we can make the mnemonic HAMS
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
A nice thing about having kids is that when you leave YOUR (grownup) stuffed animal somewhere you can just say "my family left" without specifying who. Anyway, Harold the aardvark has been found.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
This hotel room has a giant light pointed at the window and no way to shut the shades. With all the lights off, it's brighter than your average X-Files Congressional hearing
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I didn't think I had an answer to this, but then I remembered the time our CV joint suddenly snapped right before we got on the highway. That could have done it.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I think I've said this before, but growing up I just assumed virtually all adult men had model trains. In hindsight, it was just that most of the adult men I knew were my dad's IBM coworkers.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I started to explain Operation Paperclip to my daughter this morning, but she already knew all about it. It was unexpected.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Stop by my house if you want to watch a ten year old inscrutably pantomime the plot of Descendants 4
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
It's rude to put me on a tshirt
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Our daughter is really into musical theater and I don't think the voice training she's gotten has really improved her singing, but it has given her the ability to tell me when I'm off key. I'm PAYING to be dragged by a child.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
When I was a kid, my dad was doing night classes that were held at a local high school and I'd sit in the library and read these books. I loved them so much.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I'm mad to learn that Bojangles has started using an AI ordering system, but a little glad it's named "Bo-Linda"
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
In 1998, I planned a romantic dinner date with Gillian Anderson, but I wouldn't have suggested anyone invest money in my plans.
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Richard Smyth @rsmythfreelance.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Bede's World! Bede's World! Party time! Venerable!
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I need people to keep liking this until I get a take on Yongary, Monster from the Deep, which was a childhood favorite of mine.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
"Can you skip this? I hear it all the time, because it's...on the Clueless soundtrack" @a-real-octopus.bsky.social
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Post a perfect album from the 90s
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Me sowing, me reaping except it's just booking Disney character dining then paying for it.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Sometimes marriage means respecting your husband's head canon pronouns for Disney characters
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
The Legoland castle themed merch has been going downhill for years. I am not a crackpot.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
I'm really enjoying timing how quickly the employees are getting people through the rides at Legoland. I missed my calling as the corporate villain in a movie about an amusement park.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
I really hate the way people have started using "core memories" to mean 'dream vacations." I like taking big vacations with my kid! I'm on over right now! That's not really how important memories work though.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Everyone who rents a car but me has insane preferences for their mirrors
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
The "you wouldn't download a car" meme but it says "you wouldn't purloin a letter"
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I took my spouse's gender transition really well when you consider how I react to people changing their profile pictures.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Doctor's Office: Is this a good callback number? Me (an idiot): This is a GREAT callback number
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
"I have to play the violin, so I can eat" -My daughter, putting the most dramatic possible spin on "practice now and then we'll have lunch."
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Dan Chibnall @bookowl.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
"How can you not be romantic about baseball?"
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
@a-real-octopus.bsky.social has helpfully pointed this out to me, but Alpha Centauri's "and what of the immortal soul in such transactions?" is the basically the correct response to AI. Sister Miriam Godwinson might be crazy, but she really nailed that one.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
I wonder what they'd call the action movie adaptation of "Oh, To Be A Blobel!"
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Reminded of when we got a new roof from "We Get High"
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
We had an appliance delivery today, and the cat would like you to know she survived, but only barely.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
I had a math teacher give an assignment where she deducted five points for every mistake, but there were more than 20 possible deductions.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
My child: What's the scariest book you ever read? Me: *Five Minutes of Trying to Explain House of Leaves* Child: Sounds annoying
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Surprisingly radical messages at the trampoline park
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
Ugh how this simultaneously suck AND look like they're building a stargate?
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Our daughter was assigned to write a sequel to "All Summer in a Day" and came up with a plot where the kid moves back to Earth only to find out they don't have the sun there anymore either? Wtf kid
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Reposted by Mr_Roarbert
Ryan Nanni @celebrityhottub.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
it is time for the Cubs to do a merch collaboration with Avignon
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I used to support my daughter learning things but she just referred to a Disney cruise line ad as having "too much pathos," and I can't take that seriously from a fourth grader
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
I was calmly sitting by the creek near us when I got a shower of little bits of wood courtesy of a woodpecker above me
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Gold Rush!
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
Probably walk into a lot more stuff and I already do that with glasses
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Unexpectedly achieved a new level of Dad today when I received an unsolicited copy of the Colonial Williamsburg magazine in the mail.
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Mr_Roarbert @mr-roarbert.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
I'm trying to explain who the characters on Star Trek are to my child but she doesn't care? My dad never had to deal with this.
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