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Mike Rampton

@mikerampton.bsky.social
1.6K followers 494 following 1.1K posts

Author, journalist, hero, dad, sleepy etc. He/him. Cambridge, UK. Please buy the fun, funny books I write for children and grown-ups. mikerampton.com / interestingskull.beehiiv.com

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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 17h
A friend was wearing a blue and white striped top and a beret, had a string of onions around his neck and carried souvenirs from the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière. “Why are you dressed like that?” I said. "I've been to Lyon, see?” he said. "I don't understand," I said. "That's in Essex.”
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I've been chatting to a body piercer. He says he knows how to make a penis weight, but he won't tell me until tomorrow.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"There are certain shades of beige which have become the global norm for working with nuclear material." "ISO taupes?" "Those are something to do with nuclear material, yes."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Has anyone ever wanted to read an interview with me in Spanish? ¿Por que no? editorialcontrapunto.com/blogs/news/n...
editorialcontrapunto.com
Explicaciones exactas sin tecnicismos: No hay preguntas tontas
No hay preguntas tontas ¿Te has preguntado alguna vez si los dinosaurios estornudaban? ¿Qué pasa si te caes a un volcán? ¿Para qué sirven las cejas? y ¿Cómo van al baño los astronautas? Las respuestas...
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ceej @ceej.online · 30/10/2024
Apple Computer? From Richard Scarry’s Busytown?
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"My Lord, I am upset about a lady. Prithee, I hath spent the afternoon crying in a skip." "Dumpster?" "No, alas, she dumpst me. We only dateth briefly, but I gotteth overexcited I supposeth."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
"I reckon you're too thick to know the word for a metrical foot used in poetry." "Iamb?" "Yes you are."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
There is an incredible idea in this which is free to anyone who can do anything with it. Millions await! interestingskull.beehiiv.com/p/poor-perfo...
interestingskull.beehiiv.com
Poor performance
A Hollywood-ready idea and some whoppin' laughs
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My really good monthly newsletter goes out tomorrow. It only has a paltry 80 subscribers despite this being issue 45. That is really, really rubbish! Wow! That's depressing! It's a shame because the newsletter is extraordinarily funny and excellent. interestingskull.beehiiv.com
interestingskull.beehiiv.com
Home | Interesting Skull
Jokes and freelancing insights (mainly jokes) from author and journalist Mike Rampton
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"I'm taking my sister's kid to the south of France." "Nice?" "No, nephew. We're going to stay in an unimaginably fancy house there." "Toulouse?" "Even fancier than that. Three! Might celebrate with a drink." "Cannes?" "No, a bottle of wine I reckon." etc
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Roland Pierik @roleo.eurosky.social · 08/09/2026
The number of cases of cervical cancer reported in Scotland among women given the HPV vaccine at 12-13 years of age is now zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. www.bbc.com/news/article...
bbc.com
No cervical cancer cases in fully HPV-vaccinated women in Scotland
A study published by Public Health Scotland finds that the HPV vaccine is "highly effective".
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
"I am the famous tough-guy actor Mr Marvin. I fancy doing a bunch of drugs shaped like a piece of clothing, here in a village in Bedfordshire, near Wrestlingworth." "Cockayne Hatley?" "I'd love one, thanks. I'll have that here in Tadlow. Lovely."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
"I thought about a celebrated vaudeville-adjacent comedian while at Glastonbury." "W.C. Fields?" "No, I was near the Pyramid Stage as I thought about Fatty Arbuckle."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
The audiobook of the very cool STEM-tastic book I wrote with the University of Cambridge, There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question, is out today, read by proper actors with good voices. Get it wherever you get your audiobooks! It's good stuff!
The cover of University of Cambridge: There's No Such Thing As A Silly Question in audio form, showing a boy asking a huge speech bubble filled with fun illustrations of animals, volcanoes, planets, fossils, cheese and more. Written by Mike Rampton, illustrated by Guilherme Karsten, read by Dhruv Ravi and Louiza Patikas, except Louiza's name is misspelled (which I've just spotted and sent an email about).
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
The summer's run away from me. Here is a two-week-late version of my strikingly under-read monthly newsletter. Please subscribe to it. interestingskull.beehiiv.com/p/carly-rae-...
interestingskull.beehiiv.com
Carly Rae Doneaplop, that's a very low jink
What month is it? Oh dear oh dear oh dear
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
"One of the Traveling Wilburys stole part of my drum kit, so I am planning to punch him." "Floor tom?" "No, I'm going to deck Roy Orbison for nicking my snare."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
"I'm reading a book by a notoriously cruel man, then going to see my favourite soul singer in a special French tent made for and named after her." "Marquee de Sade?" "No, after reading Niccolo Machiavelli's The Prince I'm off to Le Big Top Du Anita Baker."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I asked David Bowie to describe where I should look to find Czechoslovakia on a map produced in the 1920s. He said: Actually, work the punchline to this out yourself, it'll be more rewarding that way.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
"People in the Czech city I visited seemed very forthright. Know what I mean?" "Frank Brno impression?" "No, I was just using the phrase 'know what I mean?' in enquiry as to whether you knew what I meant about my experiences with the outspoken, brazen people of Ostrava."
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tunes to make you run away @whippoorwont.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
110-year-old Turkish grandma shares her secret to a long life:

"i never once used Microsoft Teams"
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Adam Roberts @adamroberts.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
"We were playing a game with our kids when my wife told me that the eighteenth-century's greatest composer actually followed an Indian religion!" "Haydn? Sikh?" "An unusual occasion to discover that Mozart was Hindu, yes."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
“I saw an Olympic shot-putter in the airport earlier.” “Heathrow?” “No, he carried his suitcases in a way that demonstrated his strength though.”
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
This also, maddeningly, stops the useful thing it's had for years of sorting emails into promotions, updates etc. Absolutely infuriating.
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Adam Christopher @adamchristopher.me · 06/08/2026
People wanting a free, and AI-free, alternative to Google Docs for writing (because holy moly you should NOT be using Google Docs for anything), go to Ellipsus: ellipsus.com
ellipsus.com
Ellipsus | Collaborative writing software
Write, edit, and collaborate on any device. Ellipsus is a principled alternative to Google Docs—built for writers, by writers. Sign up for free.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
I don't like to boast about my glamorous lifestyle, but I'm about to have an endoscopy.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
“Today’s my weekly metal joinery class with one of the stars of Once Upon A Time In America.” “Tuesday Weld?” “Yes, that’s the name of the class I attend with Elizabeth McGovern.”
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 11/09/2024
I like using the phrase "busman's holiday" when I travel. The thing is, I use it so much at home...
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Not 100% sure about the cropping choices on this page from Gerard Depardieu’s cookbook.
A page from Gerard Depardieu’s cookbook in which he is wearing a vest and holding a fully-grown sheep the way smaller men would hold a puppy. You can see the sheep’s whole deal junkwise.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
“I cried a lot when given my Oscar. Everything was covered in tears.” “Statuette?” “It was, and my tuxedo was soggy too.”
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
"That's enough photographing the Swinging Sixties for me, I'm going to compress large quantities of hay for easy transportation!" said David, bale-y.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
"I've done such a good job of painting this pair of Egyptian symbols that I feel like rewarding myself with a treat." "Two ankhs?" "I was thinking more of a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, but perhaps."
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
All of my beliefs are shaped by the fundamental idea that we are all equally good at aikido and blues guitar. I guess you could call it a seagalitarian outlook.
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 22/07/2026
who do we want? the funk soul brother when do we want him? right about now
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
"Games Workshop are hiring a writer who's really into Warhammer." "40,000?" "Doubt it. Writing is very poorly paid." www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/44...
linkedin.com
Games Workshop hiring Writer in Nottingham, England, United Kingdom | LinkedIn
Posted 2:08:44 PM. About The JobDo you live and breathe Warhammer and have your finger on the pulse of the global…See this and similar jobs on LinkedIn.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
My pal Steve has started a Substack. It's good! superdupermentalhealth.substack.com/p/in-the-las...
superdupermentalhealth.substack.com
In the last day, over 206,000 people have read my words.
Which is quite something, really.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
"One of the members of Slade broke both his arms, and employed me to help him go to the toilet." "Noddy Holder?" "That was one of the things Dave Hill employed me as, yes. And a botty-wiper."
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Louie Stowell @louiestowell.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
This is joyous! Also I enjoy that I managed to sneak a loki behind @athenakugblenu.bsky.social's head....
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Along with @louiestowell.bsky.social and @athenakugblenu.bsky.social I am in issue eight of The Epistle, the school newspaper of a Cambridge school that I think is called St Paul’s. They have a Newspaper Club and do an issue every term. Excellent work!
A spread from the school newspaper The Epistle, featuring interviews with myself, Loki author Louie Stowell and History’s Most Epic Fails author Athena Kugblenu.
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Tiffany C. Graham @bluenote123.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that’s rape. www.salon.com/2026/07/15/m...
Quote from a paragraph in the attached article.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Hello. I'm neck-deep in fun book projects but could really do with some fun smaller freelance writing work. I'm good at it and have written for lots of magazines, websites and brands, but I've fallen out of touch with people. If you are someone who commissions writers, please commission me. Thanks!
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JuliaEdits @juliaedits.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Writers & authors, with all the nonstop scams going around, you should be aware of @victoriastrauss.com's heroic work at Writer Beware. It's sponsored by SFF by has great info for writers of all genres.
writerbeware.blog
Writer Beware
Shining a small, bright light in a wilderness of writing scams
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Davey Jones @daveyjones.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Cartoon from 2005: Ann Widdecombe and her High Church Mice
Ann Widdecombe has a portable rodent church on wheels, in which her mouse parishioners are ripped to the fucking tits on drugs.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Why wasn’t the badger at school? It was an in-sett day.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
A personal disclosure and a great joke about a badger. interestingskull.beehiiv.com/p/a-foot-note
interestingskull.beehiiv.com
A foot note
And many great jokes, including a really wholesome one about a badger
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
There's an Interesting Skull going out later today. It's my monthly newsletter of book plugs, career updates and actual proper jokes. Not a lot of people subscribe to it. You should be one of them! interestingskull.beehiiv.com
interestingskull.beehiiv.com
Home | Interesting Skull
Jokes and freelancing insights (mainly jokes) from author and journalist Mike Rampton
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Matthew Castle @mrbasilpesto.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Thriller idea: man with world's second smallest penis has to stop him.
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Christina Martin @christinamartin.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Weekend book buyers. Here's what my latest is all about...
Copy of Get Ahead of Being Dead with pen on top and cup of tea. Caption says this isn't just a read. You will need a pen (and a tea of course).Book open and picture of section one, the if you're reading this I'm dead list. Cup of tea top right. Caption says read through each section. Book open at section one activity, if you're reading this I'm dead, with pen on page, cup of tea top right. Caption says and complete the activity.
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
What do you call an actor, orator and after-dinner speaker who is sufficient and no more? Sir Peter Justenov
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Mike Rampton @mikerampton.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
“A pharaoh bought me dinner where Home & Away is set.” “Rameses’ treat?” “No, you are thinking of Neighbours. Home & Away is set in Summer Bay, and that is where Cleopatra paid for my meal.”
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Davey Jones @daveyjones.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
There's a new Viz on sale today, featuring 'Keir Starmer's Pajama Drama.' And my use of the American spelling for 'pyjama' throughout the strip was of course deliberate - it was a wry, ironical comment on, er, the global infiltration of Americanisms, or something.
Keir Starmer having a nightmare with his paj... sorry, PYjama bottoms.
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