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Melinda Massie

@melindamassie.bsky.social
915 followers 159 following 619 posts

Standardized Patient & performer. I like to drink coffee and crochet while watching cult documentaries. Enjoy cursing, indulgent food, and champagne.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Melinda Massie
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
The copy on this story is so good. I keep thinking about it.
theonion.com
Dolly Parton Troubled To Find God Illiterate
THE HEAVENS—Her heart breaking when she discovered the Almighty fumbling over the most basic words on the page in front of Him, country music icon and noted humanitarian Dolly Parton was reportedly tr...
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
"Why should I major in History?"
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Gail Simone @gailsimone.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Wolverine took a dancing class but killed like three people when it was time to do jazz hands
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
BABY BEAVEEEERRRRRRR
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Carl Quintanilla @carlquintanilla.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
This is amazing. www.getyourfuckingmoneyback.com
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Avery Alder, Buried Without Ceremony @lackingceremony.bsky.social · 07/02/2026
Democratizing the arts looks like universal income, low-barrier grants for both emerging and working artists, well-funded municipal arts & recreation programs, vibrant third spaces, and a well-funded public school system with progressive curriculum. Not a free pass for corporate-owned slop engines.
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
Update: first class was tonight, and it went so well!!
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
Have I danced professionally in the last 20 years? No. Did that stop me from applying to teach for one of my fave organizations? Also no. Did I get it? Yes! (Details if I make it past my tester class.)
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justaguy @lawstylist.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
and me, who it did NOT kill
The "and tiny Tim, who did NOT die" scene from Muppets Christmas Carol
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
IYKYK
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
My grandmother *always* slipped me a little cash ($5-10) at Christmas and said "don't tell anyone else. You're the only one I'm giving money to." I thought she said that to each of us. After she died, I asked some cousins if she said that to them too. She didn't... 🤭🤭
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Charles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
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Zohran Kwame Mamdani @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Update: Dad has been singing the Witches Ballad from Agatha All Along for the last three days.
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William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 31/10/2025
[Enter Ghost.]
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
After I started taking care of Dad last year, he learned that Halloween week means watching my fave witchy movies and you know what? Dad loves this shit too!
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
POV you’re still not married and your grandparents just found the nicest boy with a good job they want you to meet
Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody promoting Zohran
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Sinister Golden Bear 🎃 @sistergoldenbear.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
We interrupt your regularly scheduled doomscrolling for this dial-up timeline cleanse. #DoomscrollingBreak
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Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett @crockett.house.gov · 01/10/2025
The government is officially shut down. Make no mistake: Republicans control the House, the Senate, and the White House. This is THEIR shutdown. They had every tool to govern and chose chaos instead. The American people are the ones paying the price.
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Storm Surge Gainsbourg @wesflinn.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Leonard Cohen, getting over writer’s block
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 16/09/2025
The funeral home called my mother to ask if she ever received the aftercare package for my uncle... Who died *checks notes* almost 2 years ago... This is the same funeral home that *checks notes again* cremated my mother last year...
media.tenor.com
a woman with gray hair is sitting in front of a sign that says por 10 on it
Alt: A gif of Bea Arthur as Dorothy from the Golden Girls, staring disappointingly.
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
"Severance" star Britt Lower wrote "Let Me Out" on her acceptance speech paper at the #Emmys, a shoutout to her Helly R character
"Severance" star Britt Lower wrote "Let Me Out" on her acceptance speech paper at the Emmys, a shoutout to her Helly R characterA paper that reads "let me out"
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
Hell yeah! His performance was *outstanding*
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Kara BOOOOOchanan 🏳️‍⚧️🎃 @magicariot.com · 13/09/2025
If you'd like to support a trans woman author who's less than a month away from being laid off, you can do so by buying & reading my trans magical girl stories 🥹 "Magica Riot" is a full novel with a sequel nearly here! And there's a tie-in prequel novelette for that sequel, too! magicariot.com/buy
Artwork of the cover art of "Magica Riot," featuring protagonist Claire in her purple magical girl costuming posing in front of the St. Johns Bridge in Portland, Oregon. Across the top, artwork of her and the other four main characters in a park is placed. Around the book art are placed several blocks of text: "trans protagonist," "entirely queer cast," "found family energy," "thrilling action," "music-based magic," "goopy monsters," "useless lesbians," "modern-day Portland." A quote from Strange Horizons Magazine calling the book "Brilliant trans joy" comes next. Finally, text at the bottom reads: "Recommended if you like Sailor Moon, Symphogear, Pretty Cure, Power Rangers"
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
All I saw was cheesecake boat and ocean for at least 5 minutes
Photo of a missing slice of cheesecake that looks like a cheesecake hull floating in a deep blue ocean. The "ocean" is actually the blueberry topping on the large cheesecake that we don't see completely.
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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
if they want to go back to the 1950s, we’re bringing the cuisine back to the 1950s too. you put me in the kitchen, I will spend 100% of my time in there finding how much horseradish and shrimp I can put in Jello before God personally comes down here to stop me.
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
Willett's Law of Morally Defensible Conspiracy-Peddling
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
*slow clap* perfection
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madamjujujive @madamjujujive.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
Must see TV here.
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Bonne Fete Nationale
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 13/07/2025
If you'd told me the morning after my 20th, 30th, or even 40th birthdays that I'd spend the morning after my 50th birthday happily tending to my tomatoes, I'd have told you to shut your filthy, lying mouth. But here we are. However, I also had champagne and donuts after, because it is still me.
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Luna and Laurel @lunaandlaurelco.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
Skincare or ancient ritual? Yes.
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Musicology Duck @musicologyduck.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
complete that stress cycle, get some rest, then we figure it out hr.uky.edu/news/2020-11...
hr.uky.edu
Completing Our Body's Stress Response Cycle | Human Resources
When we face anything the brain perceives as a threat, stress is the body's natural response. Like all biological processes, it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. If we can move all the way throug...
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
“Congress” didn’t pass this murder budget. Republicans did it. Republicans did it without a single Democratic vote in the House, without a single Democratic vote in the Senate. Be precise and give, uh, credit where credit is due
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William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 04/07/2025
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Absolutely nothing could've prepared me for that ending
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Ashley C. Ford @smashfizzle.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
When I met Ryan Coogler several years ago, we were standing in a group of people chatting, when a woman with visible hearing aids walked up, and he casually began to sign the whole conversation so she could participate. She mouthed “thank you”. He nodded and just kept doing his thing.
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
YELLING STILL WORKS
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Bebe Neuwirth (she/her) @bebeneuwirth.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
#Caturday history lesson.
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Carriage Return of the Living Dead @carriagereturn.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
A piano player I've sung with has a comment about how you can just say "Oh, I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life and all that jazz" on beat to the tune and you're doing as much singing as Rex Harrison or Richard Burton ever did and they won Tonys.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/06/2025
Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait theonion.com/slightl...
Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait
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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
(Pace salsa voice) NEW YORK CITY!
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Melinda Massie @melindamassie.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
And the second time...and the...
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AnthroBOOlogal 👻 @anthropologal.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
The last 50 seconds of this is an education.
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Orcspiration @orcspiration.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
BE SO BRILLIANT NONE OF YOUR ENEMIES WOULD DARE LOOK AT YOU.
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Ghostly Bree @mostlybree.kitrocha.com · 19/06/2025
I understand the need to yell at this fucker, but I need everyone on this site to reach as deep as they can into their spite reserves and do the thing these attention-seeking trolls HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING ON EARTH: pretend he doesn't fucking exist.
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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
like I know we all know it but Christ when you say it out loud
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Jesse Walker @notjessewalker.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Welcome to America, where we track foreign policy by watching pizzas and track the weather by watching waffles.
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