Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 21/02/2025Oh good once again everyone is freaking out about some stupid little hand gesture by some stupid fucking douchebag while ignoring or let’s face it pretty much supporting the brutal torture and murder of literal Jewish babies, I fucking hate y’all so much it’s not even funny 080
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 13/02/2025I am a Jeopardy girl living in a Wheel Of Fortune world 0272
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 27/01/2025I have no idea what the fuck anyone is talking about anymore (bragging) 0729
Reposted by Mariya AlexanderSean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Figured out how to fix my clogged bathroom sink yesterday and it was the most satisfying thing I've done in a while. If you're feeling low, I strongly recommend clogging and then fixing your bathroom sink. 7634
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Just did one (1) self-care which has earned me two to three (2-3) self-destructions 17312
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 12/01/2025Just because climate change is real doesn’t mean that politicians aren’t using it as a convenient catch-all deflection from their own incompetence and dereliction of basic duties 😉 0212
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 12/01/2025I used to only block people if they were mean to me but now I block people for being cringey embarrassing losers and it’s way more satisfying 0201
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 11/01/2025Living through apocalyptic fires WHILE recovering from Norovirus has been quite an adventure (derogatory) 2122
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 11/01/2025These fires are absolutely horrific and yet everyone’s dumb ass takes are somehow even worse???? 0161
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 09/01/2025My therapist: so what’s been going on? Me: girl, how much time you got My therapist: exactly 1 hour 0443
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 08/01/2025Trying to work right now is so fucking stupid, I'll email someone like "hey, just following up on this thing I guess???" and they'll write back like "sorry, I am currently running for my life as my home and everything I own burns to the ground, I'll circle back later" 🤪 0180
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 08/01/2025Wish someone would come and arrest my mayor and also my entire state’s government tbh 0131
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 07/01/2025I don’t know who needs to hear this but you don’t have to be doing all that 3173
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Literally no one: Heidi Klum: I should do an erotic lingerie photoshoot with my daughter 160
Reposted by Mariya AlexanderSarah @thetigersez.bsky.social · 03/01/2025If you include the words “philosopher” and “spiritual” in your bio on any website you should be sent straight to jail 10514
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 03/01/2025Me, day to day living in Los Angeles: Ugh! Everything is so dirty! It’s so loud! Someone stole my packages again! Me, after a week of visiting family on the East coast, flying back to Los Angeles: I am going to kiss the filthy meth-infested ground as soon as we land, god bless this holy place 😭❤️🫶 0180
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 03/01/2025My life would be so much easier if I was a proper selfish bitch 0193
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 01/01/2025My 89 year old extremely Ukrainian grandpa just asked me what Kesha’s last name is while dancing to her New Year’s Rockin’ Eve performance, as a sign of respect 🥹 0140
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Currently visiting my family aka doing hard time 0160
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 27/12/2024When I am president Timothee Chalamet will be legally barred from acting or whatever the hell it is he thinks he’s doing 290
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 27/12/2024I have been a vegetarian for over 15 years so of course my parents still ask whether I eat chicken at every opportunity 6512
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 26/12/2024I dare you to have a nice day, as a goof 2181
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 25/12/2024Merry Christmas and happy Chanukah from my daughter and her friend 🥰 0422
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 24/12/2024This app feels like the two new follow-up seasons of Arrested Development (not great) 260
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 23/12/2024Resting in power sounds terrible and exhausting tbh 0141
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 23/12/2024Brb, weeping my way through A Real Pain, don’t text 040
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 18/12/2024Imagine meeting the love of your life and then discovering they unironically use hashtags on social media 3172
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 18/12/2024This is an open invitation for everyone to stop embarrassing themselves 2010214
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 16/12/2024Remember: it’s not how much or how little you know about a topic, it’s how smug and unhinged you are in your proclamations about it that counts 0465
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 16/12/2024Well it looks like evolving from violent apes into even more violent apes may have been a mistake 0343
Reposted by Mariya AlexanderLock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 16/12/2024To be honest if you have never had to boot up a computer with a five inch floppy disk then you have had it easy and I think you're a pussy 4095042355
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 15/12/2024Earlier in the week me is a stupid bitch for promising my friends that today me would leave the house 3462
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 15/12/2024Fun prank: live a life of quiet stoicism and unwavering integrity 16215
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 13/12/2024Me: I disagree! Person: but I didn’t even say anything Me: nevertheless… 0110
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 11/12/2024Being a good judge of character is a real bummer 818914
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 10/12/2024[pointing at most things] I’m not here for all that 0367
Reposted by Mariya AlexanderViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 09/12/2024First of all, I didn’t “karate chop” your baby. We were sparring 10936161
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 09/12/2024I heard a text come in while I was exercising and I thought “this better fucking be important to be texting me all early during my workout” and I looked and it was my friend sharing yet another unhinged news story about Australian breakdancer Raygun and I was like “wow ok this IS important” 1190
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 07/12/2024Offering a service where you send me your Spotify Wrapped and I carefully review it and tell you whether you should post it online, unfortunately 99% of the time the answer will be a firm NO 0110
Reposted by Mariya AlexanderJamie 1947 @jamie1947.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Hell yeah I’ve been appointed to a cabinet position, I’m near the top behind the cans of beans 0677
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Planning a wedding while categorically not wanting to be around any people is a wild ride 1101
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 04/12/2024The chasm between the takes people post online and what they say to me via text or in person - she is wide 081
Reposted by Mariya Alexander13spencer @13spencer.bsky.social · 18/11/2024[At a Diddy freak-off party] Um does anyone have hand sanitizer? 041
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Is it cake???? Literally none of my business 310910
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 02/12/2024I should be able to do federal crimes too 😤 2614
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 01/12/2024I have become what was once unfathomable: an emotionally healthy adult who feels no need to impress others and finds quiet joy in the mundane 3241
Mariya Alexander @mariyaalexander.bsky.social · 30/11/2024My lived experience is you’re an idiot 2251