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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists

@leviweaver.bsky.social
1.5K followers 239 following 818 posts

I once won a buckle riding a calf. I don’t know where the buckle or calf are these days but I’m still around. (Baseball thoughts are at @threetwoeephus.bsky.social

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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
Great analogy
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
That’s the word, yes
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
I wonder sometimes if I’m too angry about this. Too principled; resistant to change But every day I read about some new horror it’s inflicting on the human race, and it’s still being force-fed to us. I think we aren’t angry enough.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
Been thinking about this recently, the “AI music is so good now, people can’t tell the difference!” crowd. 1. I disagree. But even if that becomes true… 2. If I can stop listening to Ryan Adams because he’s a sex pest, I have the capacity to stop listening to music I would otherwise have liked.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
They won’t miss me. But hopefully others will do the same. There is no product that I need that badly. And if I did, well … it’s not that product anymore anyway. They left me first.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
I’ve been a Google Maps user since before they offered turn by turn navigation. Today, an AI chatbot popped up while I was typing in an address. “Any questions?” Yeah just one: can I turn this off permanently? No And now Google Maps app has been deleted from my phone.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 21h
Oh wow that guy saw Jesus? Must be a slow news day, feels pretty commonplace tbh
Matthew 25:35-40
 
New Living Translation
35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[a] you were doing it to me!’
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
All offense to the sun, but I hope this rainy weather lasts for about six months
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Hey does anyone want some bones
Bones for sale: $3 small, $5 large
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Ok I see people saving this post, and I know why you’re doing it. I’m not deleting it, but I’m on to you.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Imagine being a billionaire and wondering why nobody likes you. And the whole time, the blueprint was right there in the open; Dolly Parton being venerated because she staunchly and radically loved and accepted everyone, and used her good fortune to tangibly help others.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
My kid was an Imagination Library kid. We lived in Nashville from the time he was born until just before his fifth birthday. No cost, no strings attached. Just free books to read your kid until they start school.
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Nitish Pahwa @nitishpahwa.com · 25/08/2026
I think the universal grieving comes in no small part from the fact she represented the best of what America could be, and that she never stopped chasing that ideal, artistically and socially
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Joel @itsjoels.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
This is the letter kids got at the end of Dolly’s Imagination Library. I defy you to read this and not cry.
Sorry, I can’t type that.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Yeah I’m an entrepreneur. I have a few businesses. Ever heard of “float or splat parachuting”? I also run a valet service called “steer or crash” and then in the summer, there’s
company truck for a place called “Sink or swim pool”
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
(I may have already made this joke, but I am feeling particularly older and mortal this year so apologies if it’s a repeat; I’m not looking it up.)
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older,” the 90-year-old Beach Boys sigh into the mic, making direct eye contact with the audience. “Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long…”
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Man. This whole time I thought it was “happy BIRD day” On account of the stork
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
A weird thing I think about occasionally is that Matt Kemp dated Rihanna and the lasting lesson from that was “ Yikes, I think I just want to be a normal person, actually.” youtu.be/s7iaWkgQ7JA?...
youtu.be
Matt Kemp: Nothing is normal when dating Rihanna
YouTube video by Graham Bensinger
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
[taps the sign]
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Well, as a general rule, yes. But a lot of my highway experience is either as a kid (dad going rodeo to rodeo) or a touring musician (gotta get to the next show on time) so sometimes the extra stop just isn’t an option.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
It’s microdosing being a Disney Adult! But it’s for a gas station! (Okay, okay I’m done, like and subscribe or just murder me or whatever)
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Anyway, if you’re one of those Buc-ees people, sorry if this was mean to you (not sorry to Buc-ees though), and sorry another of your chosen personality traits has gone the way of icanhzcheeseburger and bacon in 2009. You’ll find something new, I promise!
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
This is your god? This mewling Alvin wanna-be? This store-brand Gus-Gus? You pee at the altar of this musk-hasn’t-come-in-yet ferret in a flipped-bill short cap, asking Santa Claus for Pixar’s CARS trading cards because he wants a mint-condition Mater, completely missing the irony?
The bucees logo, already described in post
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
100%. I’ll pee in a just-ok toilet if it means getting to my destination a half-hour sooner
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Buc-ees is for tourists and Texans who act like tourists. Have some self-respect and go to the Czech stop or the little gas station owned by a guy named Dale or Bubba (who is probably getting sued by Buc-ees as we speak). Your voluntary worship of a more-sanitized existence is boring!
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Who would have guessed that the oil and gas industry is not particularly scrupulous?
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
“We have clean bathrooms!” Wow, the bare minimum? Guess it’s time to pledge fealty to a gas station with subpar BBQ, lines out the door, and the tackiest merch I’ve seen since the Dixie National rodeo in 1991.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
This is all correct, and also It’s a gas station (This was my stance even before the lawsuits)
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Well well well, it seems my long-standing stance of “Buc-ees isn’t even that good, y’all are being weird about loving a gas station” is finally paying off
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
The number of things about me that make me feel old is growing but never have they coalesced into such intensity as just now when — driving home from physical therapy — I audibly yelled at a driverless Waymo car for not knowing the right-of-way laws at a four-way stop sign.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
[Commissioner Gordon, attempting to summon Batman on a completely clear night with no cloud cover] “UGHHH!!!”
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
i hope they got a promotion for this
Red “WRONG WAY” road sign hangs upside down.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
For someone who claims not to be an “affected by celebrity deaths” type of person, I sure am sad about Glen Hansard dying. An all-time great voice and presence behind the mic and guitar. Just the most evocative voice, man. What a talent.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Only so many ways to rhyme “your feelings are valid but your attacks say more about your insecurities than any perceived shortcomings on my part” and most of them sound like “ow, ow, ow, stop!”
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
I’m generally very thankful for therapy BUT it has made me significantly worse at being mean enough to win rap battles
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
When I was a kid, beatboxing was exactly what you would expect a modern 50 year old white dad to do. and now people are making sounds like they are setting off God’s smoke alarm
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Me: fighting fair but hard @holls.bsky.social: “what if Bigger Gun?” You: “It’s time for the nuclear option”
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
No lie, I have literally been scoping the perimeter — house eaves, shed, fences, gates — about once a week to make sure there are no reconstruction projects.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I have a home depot spray bottle that is not quite THAT level but better than most squirt guns. I’m not playing around, not after a face sting.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I’m pacifist level “Will Put Spiders Outside” but wasps are the ONE creature that triggers my murder instinct. Bring maximum peace to the earth, but death to all flying (stinging) things. (Except bees, bees rule, I have pollinator flowers to attract them) thanks for liking and subscribing or w/e
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
It doesn’t work great for shooting them out of the air, but once they land, start spraying and don’t stop til they’re clearly incapacitated. You *can* leave them at that point, but it feels cruel to let them suffer (no matter how much I hate them) so shoes work great for a mercy kill.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Side note: to kill wasps (I’m at ~100 down in the last 6 weeks)… get a good spray bottle with a solid stream (NOT spray) option. Mix about 1 part Dawn dish soap with 3 parts water, swish don’t shake, and make sure your aim is good. The dawn is a surfactant and will suffocate them in ~15 seconds
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I’m winning, in that I have destroyed at least a dozen nests and they have (SO FAR) not destroyed my home in revenge. But I have gotten stung 3x, including once on the face. I understand their rage, but the neighbor’s yard and back alley are RIGHT THERE and I am willing to respect a hard border.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I fear that my best attempts to eradicate the wasps from my back yard have only radicalized the wasps. They no longer fear me, and have in fact identified me as a primary target.
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
If you want to know how spicy my posts get, this is the ceiling
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Recently fell victim to the “drinking more water” scam. Be on the lookout; this is, in retrospect, clearly yet another ploy by Big Toilet™️
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
The presence of a Mark Twain implies the existence of a Mark Still Alltogether
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
[1972, guy named Mr. Jones listening to the new single by his friend Billy Paul] wait what the f—
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this account doesn’t belong on sports lists @leviweaver.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
[Standing side-by-side with the Mayor, looking up at a menacing villain who is on the verge of destroying the city] Boy, you’re not going to be happy to hear this, but there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m *Souper* Man. I mean, this blender is top of the line but I can‘t even throw it that high
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