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Johnnie Sac
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![[Title panel]:
A-LEVEL RESULTS COLUMNS DAY
[Scene is a TV news type report about A Level results day]
REPORTER [talking to camera outside a school where students are crowding outside the hall to get in]:
Well, it's that day again
When A-Level students across the country finally get to find out
What Britain's newspaper columnists think about their results.
[show the interior of the school hall, with long tables, but instead of results papers on them, loads of middle-aged newspaper columnists are all laid out]
[Close up on the COLUMNISTS lying on the table, talking up to a gaggle of excited students desperate to find out what they say]
PETER HITCHENS:
I remember when A-Levels meant something
CLARKSON:
I got a C and two U's
[Cut to outside the hall, the REPORTER is talking to a student]
REPORTER:
And did you get the middle-aged opinions you wanted?
STUDENT:
Yes!
I got one ‘There's Too Much Humanities’,
and two Oxford graduates telling me they went to Oxford.
REPORTER [now doing a voiceover, as we see the students in the school hall next to the columnists on tables, and the students are preparing to jump in the air for a photographer]:
And then the annual photo shoot…
[PHOTOGRAPHER]
One, two, three...
[One of the columnists on the table pipes up with]:
What's The Point Of University in 2026?
[The students all jump for joy]
STUDENTS:
HOORAY!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiauzow46czexl5p6tdraopiegsutr63pkiar6cescidhxaluclska)
