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Johnathan Appel

@johnathanappel.bsky.social
6.1K followers 577 following 15 posts

Writer Last Week Tonight; words in New Yorker & Mcsweeneys; I talk about my cats like they're my children but when I do it, it's funny

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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 01/10/2026
"Ever since Conniving Worm joined my Royal Council, he has proven to be highly competent, fiercely loyal, and constantly laughing to himself while rubbing his hands together. Which is understandable, as this castle can be quite drafty!" buff.ly/g4Miegw
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My Trusted Royal Advisor, Conniving Worm Would Never Lead Me Astray
“Ever since Conniving Worm joined my Royal Council, he has proven to be highly competent, fiercely loyal, and constantly laughing to himself while rubbing hi...
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Pat Bagley @bagleycartoons.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Thanks, SCOTUS!
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 14/05/2026
"I wholeheartedly consider myself to be in an ongoing, ruthless competition with every woman on earth, and I’m going to win. I’m going to be the Best Woman."
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An Excerpt from Maeve Dunigan’s New Book, Read This to Look Cool
“I wholeheartedly consider myself to be in an ongoing, ruthless competition with every woman on earth, and I’m going to win. I’m going to be the Best Woman.”
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 10/04/2026
The hungry red panda at the Prospect Park Zoo? Adorable. The HungryPanda delivery app scamming small businesses? Not adorable. So they will be paying $580,000 back. We'll keep pursuing companies that take advantage of New Yorkers, and we'll keep asking if we can pet a red panda just for a second.
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 26/03/2026
“Power concedes nothing without a demand. But maybe we should try politely asking again!” — Frederick Douglass, 1857
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Revolutionary Quotes From Centrist History
“A house divided against itself sounds expensive to rebuild.” — Abraham Lincoln, 1858 3/24/26
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
mind-boggling to me that i still have yet to see a single democrat utter the phrase “every republican president of your lifetime has destroyed the economy and started a war”
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Jennie Egerdie @jennieegerdie.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
This week’s BEST PARTY WORST HOUSE: on Young Womanhood, Transactional Sex, and Spanking a CBC Literary Prize winner in front of Kermit the Frog. (Some names have been changed. But not all!) jennieegerdie.substack.com/p/its-not-ea...
jennieegerdie.substack.com
It’s Not Easy Being Green
On Young Womanhood, Transactional Sex, and Spanking a CBC Literary Prize winner in front of Kermit the Frog
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David Dayen @ddayen.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
So I just got a statement from California AG Bonta's office: "Paramount/Warner Bros is not a done deal. These two Hollywood titans have not cleared regulatory scrutiny — the California Department of Justice has an open investigation, and we intend to be vigorous in our review"
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Marc @mjlp716.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
Dem leadership better come out and say that they without a doubt will break up any merger with Paramount once they regain power again including the breakup of current Paramount assets if this goes through.
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More Perfect Union @moreperfectunion.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
This guy gets it.
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 23/02/2026
Work alongside New York City's Strongest as we get through this historic storm.    Emergency shoveling pay is now $30/hour. Walk into any sanitation garage to sign up TODAY BY 8PM or TOMORROW from 9AM to 8PM.    Let's get NYC back on its feet— together. bit.ly/NYCShovel
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Jacob Graveison @jacobdavison.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
This is nothing. ICE and DHS need to be outright abolished. Call Schumer's offices and make it known.
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Sharon 🪳🌹 @sharonk.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
“I grab my keys, I grab a coat, and drive over,” Knutson told me. “I barely park my car and I’m running out screaming and crying, ‘You stole a fucking flower from a dead woman. Like, are any of you human anymore?’”
I arrived in Minneapolis 11 days after an ICE agent shot Good in the face. Her picture was hanging like a religious icon on windows and walls all over the city. To many who had not already become involved, her death was a call to action.

One of those latecomers was a 46-year-old documentary filmmaker named Chad Knutson. On the morning after Good was killed, he was at home with his two hound dogs, watching a live feed from the Whipple Building, where ICE is based, a five-minute drive from his house. A protester had laid a rose on a makeshift memorial to Good. As Knutson watched, an ICE agent took the rose, put it in his lapel, and then mockingly gave it to a female ICE agent. They both laughed.

Knutson told me he had never been a protester. It seemed pointless, or just a way for people to expiate their sense of guilt. But when he saw those ICE agents laughing, something broke inside him.

“I grab my keys, I grab a coat, and drive over,” Knutson told me. “I barely park my car and I’m running out screaming and crying, ‘You stole a fucking flower from a dead woman. Like, are any of you human anymore?’”
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
The Washington Post published a clear video of federal agents removing Alex Pretti's handgun moments before he was fatally shot. There's nothing in the video to suggest Pretti even reached for his weapon. wapo.st/49Zqv1L
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Jeff Sharlet @jeffsharlet.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
They murdered Good and Pretti, a poet and a nurse, one whose last words were “I’m not mad,” another whose last act was shielding another. Because of course that’s who they killed. Everyday people.
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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
Minnesota is the best of us.
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Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
This poll shows that 74% of Democrats support abolishing ICE, with 53% *strongly* supporting getting rid of the agency. Any elected Democrat who wants ICE to exist is outside the mainstream of their party and the people they purport to represent.
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Writers Guild of America East @wgaeast.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
The following is a statement from the WGA on ABC’s decision to pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’
WGA Statement on ABC's Decision to Pull ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’
The right to speak our minds and to disagree with each other - to disturb, even - is at the very heart of what it means to be a free people. It is not to be denied. Not by violence, not by the abuse of governmental power, nor by acts of corporate cowardice.
As a Guild, we stand united in opposition to anyone who uses their power and influence to silence the voices of writers, or anyone who speaks in dissent. If free speech applied only to ideas we like, we needn't have bothered to write it into the Constitution. What we have signed on to - painful as it may be at times - is the freeing agreement to disagree.
Shame on those in government who forget this founding truth. As for our employers, our words have made you rich.
Silencing us impoverishes the whole world.
The WGA stands with Jimmy Kimmel and his writers.
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Brad Lander at @jfrejnyc.bsky.social awards event: “I have not done enough to speak out against the ethnic cleansing and war crimes in Gaza.” He is here being honored along with @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social
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Lindsey Boylan @lindseyboylan.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
Since @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social is so concerned about @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social housing maybe he should address his own property tax bill of just $213 a year thanks to a sweetheart deal he supported when he served in the state Assembly that will last through 2032. nypost.com/2022/01/23/r...
nypost.com
Exclusive | Rep. Hakeem Jeffries pays just $200 in property taxes thanks to sweetheart subsidy law
Public records show that Jeffries and his family reside in a condo unit in Prospect Heights, paying just $213 a year in property taxes.
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Johnathan Appel @johnathanappel.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
In @newyorker.com today with @jennieegerdie.bsky.social and our wonderful illustrator Jesse Shamon! www.newyorker.com/humor/shouts...
newyorker.com
Why I’m Actually Inviting You to My Party
This won’t be fun, but it will be expensive.
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Peter Sterne @petersterne.com · 06/08/2025
Bombshell report from The New York Times reveals that President Donald Trump spoke directly to Andrew Cuomo about how to stop Zohran Mamdani from becoming NYC mayor. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/06/n...
The president has been briefed by Mark Penn, a pollster who has worked for Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Andrew Stein, a former New York City Council president and decades-long friend of Mr. Trump, on a range of polling that showed Mr. Cuomo could still be competitive as an independent candidate. Both men have pushed Mr. Cuomo as the best candidate despite his loss in the Democratic primary, including in a recent Wall Street Journal op-ed. One of Mr. Penn’s firms did extensive work for a pro-Cuomo super PAC in the primary.

And in a previously undisclosed call in recent weeks, Mr. Trump spoke about the race directly with Mr. Cuomo, an old associate and foil, according to three people briefed on the call, who were not authorized to discuss it.
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southpaw @nycsouthpaw.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
This weird column is emblematic of the sort of special pleading that dominates mainstream coverage of trump. There’s a ream of propensity evidence, extensive opportunities, and a growing sheaf of chummy statements from Trump evincing detailed knowledge and winking approval of Epstein’s crimes.
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @aoc.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
I don’t think anyone is prepared for what they just did w/ ICE. This is not a simple budget increase. It is an explosion - making ICE bigger than the FBI, US Bureau of Prisons, DEA,& others combined. It is setting up to make what’s happening now look like child’s play. And people are disappearing.
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Kelsey Atherton @atherton.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
in the history of the 21st century, the Biden presidency will be remembered as a footnote during the long Trump era. Stephen Miller, architect of this hell, will have shaped America more, in no small part because Biden, like Obama before him, left in place the infrastructure facilitating deportation
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
Imagine if the Democratic Party actually helped Zohran instead of trying to kneecap him at every step. A better party is immediately possible if they stop shoving money into the anti-trans combination Racism Dial/Money Toilet and instead get behind candidates people actually want.
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Ashton Pittman @ashtonpittman.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
New York City is reminding Americans that you don't have to vote for the accused sexual abuser just because he runs for office again.
New York Democratic Mayoral Primary >
Candidate
Zohran Mamdani 43.8%
Andrew M. Cuomo 35.7%
Brad Lander 11.7%
Adrienne Adams 4.1%
Other candidates 4.7%

81% of votes in
Sources: AP and N.Y.C. Board of Elections. Ranked-choice tallies expected
next Tuesday.
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mtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
Andrew Cuomo was the US Secretary of Housing and is now running for mayor, where one of the largest agencies they manage is NYC's Housing Authority. And yet Cuomo literally had ChatGPT write his campaign housing policy. This is who the media and establishment want you to think is "serious"
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
NYC 🚨 IF YOU HAVEN’T VOTED, GO NOW FIND YOUR POLLING PLACE HERE: vote.nyc/page/find-yo... RANK ZOHRAN 1, LANDER 2, MYRIE, ADAMS, BLAKE 3-5. DO NOT RANK CUOMO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. LET’S FUCKING GO.
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Jake Grumbach @jakemgrumbach.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
Cuomo's reemergence has already damaged the party by causing Democratic leaders do outright hypocrisy and cheapen #MeToo. The same people who ousted Al Franken for less than Cuomo's serial harassment, then ousted Cuomo himself, now endorse him. A functional party would coordinate to say "stay out"
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Jason Linkins @dceiver.bsky.social · 22/06/2025
really sums up the media’s coverage of the Trump presidency
Screen shot of CNN site with a Saturday breaking news alert explaining that Trump launched a strike against Iran atop a CNN story from the same day headlined “Always a peacemaker”: How Trump decided to hold off on striking Iran
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Kat Tenbarge @kattenbarge.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
The smears against Zohran coming from the Democratic establishment are also a sign of fear—they’re more scared of the party becoming progressive than they are of the country already being fascist. If Zohran wins, it signals a reckoning. If Cuomo wins, they can keep the failing status quo intact.
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Brad Lander @bradlander.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
Tonight, I'll go home and sleep in my bed. I have a lawyer, I'll get due process. But Edgardo, whose arm was ripped from mine by ICE agents, has none of those things. That's why I'll keep coming back to court, week after week, to make sure that people's rights are protected.
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Brad Lander: "I'll keep coming back to court, week after week"
YouTube video by Brad Lander for NYC
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Hell Gate *subscribe today!* @hellgatenyc.com · 17/06/2025
The comptroller is out!
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Brad Lander @bradlander.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Hi, this is Meg Barnette, Brad's wife. While escorting a defendant out of immigration court at 26 Federal Plaza, Brad was taken by masked agents and detained by ICE. This is still developing, and our team is monitoring the situation closely.
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FactPost @factpostnews.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Sen. Padilla: If you thought what unfolded last week was just about one politician, you're missing the point. If that is what the administration is willing to do to a United States Senator for having the authority to ask a question, imagine what's happening in places where there are no cameras
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Kim Kelly @kimkelly.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Brad Lander physically put his body on the line to protect a person being targeted by ICE goons, and this was the result. He’s an elected city official and mayoral candidate, but he’s also a good person. If every elected Dem showed that kind of bravery, we’d be in a much different position.
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @aoc.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
ICE just arrested Brad Lander, the NYC Comptroller and one of the leading candidates for Mayor, without grounds. He was conducting routine immigration court work, escorting individuals from hearings. He asked ICE for their warrant - well within his legal rights. This is political intimidation.
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G Elliott Morris @gelliottmorris.com · 15/06/2025
Based on crowd-sourced records of No Kings Day event turnout, and extrapolating for the cities where we don't have data yet, it looks like roughly 4-6 million people protested Trump across the U.S. yesterday. That's nearly 2% of the U.S. pop! Mobilized anti-Trump resistance is exceeding 2017 levels
gelliottmorris.com
"No Kings Day" protests turn out millions
Our unofficial estimate is that around 4 million people attended a protest event yesterday. Anti-Trump resistance is outpacing 2017.
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
This should not controversial, but somehow it is. I believe EVERYONE deserves healthcare, no matter who you are, what you do, or where you were born.
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Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan.bsky.social · 12/05/2025
"I think it should be controversial to NOT say anything" about Gaza I spoke to YouTube star and children's educator Ms. Rachel about her outspoken support for Palestinian kids in Gaza - and the bad-faith attacks on her in response. Full interview here: zeteo.com/p/exclusive-...
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Anne Applebaum @anneapplebaum.wsocial.eu · 09/05/2025
Every book published in the United States is sent to the Library of Congress. Also, if you are under 16 you cannot use the reading room or order books.
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David Roberts @volts.wtf · 06/05/2025
I've said this a million times, but I'll say it again: it is truly striking how many Democratic politicians, pundits, and commentators have internalized the idea that the right shapes public opinion and it is the job of the left to respond to it.
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