Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 14/09/2023I've never heard of Pressie before but I know one thing for certain: she's real 110
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 14/09/2023You'll never know for sure until you don a jaguar mask and start a street fight with an old CEO 030
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 14/09/2023That's right. Get that hog some knowledge and a steady paycheck. 121
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 14/09/2023I'm too old to be a skeptic now. The alien mummies are real. Bigfoot is real. The cosmic serpent is real. But the chupacabra? 100% fake. 128411
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 14/09/2023I feel really bad for talented authors who want to make a career as genre novelists nowadays because they have a higher chance of being struck by lightning twice than getting a manuscript published 110
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 13/09/2023It turns out we all wanted something else to get us through this 010
Reposted by JesseSneezingWithWetMascara @wetmascara.bsky.social · 13/09/2023Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing 822533
Reposted by JesseRoxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 13/09/2023People think octopuses love October because they both begin with "octo" but the truth is that octopuses spend the whole month getting excited for Halloween because they are capable of giving out candy extremely quickly & efficiently. 171037229
Reposted by JesseJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 12/09/2023Me and the homie looking at you right after you suggest we steal the Declaration of Independence. 06817
Reposted by Jesse🦊 🩵🐦⬛ 🧙Revenant Fox & Crow, for Bartleby Endeavors 🎥 @foxy99.bsky.social · 12/09/2023My home’s hallways are lined with oil portraits of my ancestors in hand carved frames composed entirely of Arby’s beef sandwiches. 0157
Reposted by Jesse𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 12/09/2023Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails. 78140
Reposted by Jessesoul nate @mnateshyamalan.bsky.social · 07/09/2023in the 90’s, computers would scream every time you went online. that‘s called foreshadowing 5685823103
Reposted by JesseD.N. Schmidt, SF author🪐📚 @dnschmidt.com · 12/09/2023The waiter said my steak was rare but it turns out there are literally thousands of steaks. 04214
Reposted by Jessehaunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 12/09/2023laughing out longingly 45411
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 12/09/2023You ever pirate a movie? Give it 3.14 stars every time. 118214
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 12/09/2023We need to return to the days when the only "bit coin" was an old pirate nibbling a doubloon to make sure the gold was real. 1366
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 12/09/2023I imagine you making this face when you don't like something 110
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 12/09/2023Asked my coworker when they were getting into the office today. They said “15 to 20 minutes Max.” Seven years working together and they never remember that my name is Jesse. 1364
Jesse @jessedumb.bsky.social · 12/09/2023It’d be cool to hatch from a giant egg and have wings though 130
