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James Newton

@jamesanewton.bsky.social
210 followers 317 following 1.7K posts

Something of a scientist, definitely a nerd and father.

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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 5h
JFC. Matterface’s tortured torpedo quip. He would do so much better if he just called the game happening in front of him.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 5h
England have been good but Croatia abject especially at the back. 4-0 at half time and they were lucky to get nil.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Ive seen a bit of this Northern Irish football team over the past week and they look a really decent side. They aren’t going to win the Euros, but as an England fan I wouldn’t want them in the group stage.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Have found a mojito cake recipe and have adapted to make a margarita cake for my wife’s birthday. So far so good- just fed a very convincing and boozy syrup into the cakes. Thinking about it, would have used half sugar half agave syrup if I’d have thought about beforehand
Two lime flavoured sponges that have been fed a magarita syrup of lime, sugar and tequila.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It is truth universally known that a man with long curly hair playing a keyboard will be compared to Ralph off The Muppets. #totp
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Financial Fair Play for broadcasting now.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The Mighty Thor is visiting Emley Moor mast this morning
A rainbow in front of Emley Moor mast this morning.
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Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Love this from today's Popbitch: “I’ve cried at some mad things; Coronation Street, X Factor, when Barry got pushed off the hill by Janine in Eastenders, I think I was crying” - Wayne Rooney
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Lemonheads tonight at Holmfirth. Very good. Took a couple of songs to warm up and the really shone in the one man and an acoustic guitar section. Lovely tone to his guitar work.
The Lemonheads on stage.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Having seen how chilled everyone is now that we have moved on to the music career of Will Young, I’m going to make the assumption that the previous bad vibes were caused by Facebook’s lawyers just off screen.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Watched Scum for the first time in years again last night on ITVX. Jeez, it’s brilliant but grim.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The move to Spain has done Gordon the world of good. He’s both matured and found his voice.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Good game. 3-2 probably about right. Spain have a lot of quality, Tuchel might just be getting to the side and style he wants to play. Too much dicking around at the back against a high quality press.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Extraordinary half of Rugby League from Wakefield, precipitated by an extraordinarily stupid piece of ill- discipline ñ.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
First time in single figures for quite some time. daily #referdle1401: 9/25 🟩3️⃣ 3️⃣1️⃣ 1️⃣1️⃣ referdle.com #referdle b: @referdle.bsky.social
referdle.com
Referdle
The daily word game for those who like a real challenge
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’ve not seen the whole game, but the ref in this Northern Ireland match has been well out of his depth for the last 30 minutes. Very weak officiating.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Alan Shearer on The Rest is Football after too many merlots
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Wrong Dragons IMO. Should have included Touker for the sourcing.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Sunset acceptable tonight just outside of Wakefield.
A sunset in West Yorkshire. Emley Moor mast is silhouetted against vivid orange clouds and a blue sky.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Today I learned the phrase “so be it”, which seems perfectly normal to me is considered archaic and gives Word’s grammar checker issues.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Woman on Politics Live revealing that she hasn’t attended a large sporting or cultural event in the last ten years (at least not with the plebs) by banging on about glass bottles as though that makes her sound intelligent.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Asimov’s laws of robotics now. Also CEOs to be legally responsible for any crimes done by their models. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cv...
bbc.co.uk
Australia launches urgent review after OpenAI program hacks government health portal
Experts believe it's the world's first known AI breach of a government system.
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
Computer, Enhance. *spits tea*
Fluffles the poodle from Wallace and Grommit with her eyelashes, poodle ears and red hard hatThe cover of The Giver by Chappell Roan where she looks very similar
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Fabio Vollono @fabiovol.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Can you take 2 mins to respond to Ofwat's consultation to demand they BLOCK the water bill hike. If water companies can't survive without hiking our bills, let them go bust and bring them into public ownership. Deadline: midnight Thurs 24th Sept weownit.org.uk/NoBillHike
weownit.org.uk
Ofwat: No to water bills hike, let them go bust - Respond by midnight on Thursday 24th September
Demand that Ofwat says no to bill hikes. Let water companies go bust and bring them into public ownership for nothing.
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Clownf1st @clownf1st.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Too Much, Too Young Persons Railcard
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Stephen @qqzm.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
They only hand out 3 2:1s each year
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... He’s had Man United working short-time since the start of the season too.
bbc.co.uk
Sir Jim Ratcliffe suspends production at key UK plants blaming high gas prices
Ineos said natural gas in the UK is twelve times more expensive than in the US.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just been reminded of a past customer named Stella Gale, which does sound like a hazard to space shipping.
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Toby Earle 🇺🇦 @tobyontv.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
the earliest fashion label in the British Isles was Tommy Hill Figure
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AlexWattsEsq @alexwattsesq.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I no more want a visualised podcast than I want an aerosolised jacket potato
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Robert Rath @robertrath.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Folks forget that in this movie Luke is an audience insert and part of the fantasy is getting to hang out with the cool people—old hippie veteran with odd religious ideas, the dude with a hot rod who smuggles drugs with his big weird friend, and the hot, preppy smart girl who’s way too good for you.
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Phil Hare's Ghost @mrlepus.eurosky.social · 21/09/2026
Read this in Jarvis Cocker's singing voice.
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Bugs, Yaoist @bugsmaytrix.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
addressing a room of male vegans: lentilmen,
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I would very happily tax each one of these tax exiles £100,000 every time they put a toe in an UK sports or cultural venue. Double if they’ve said this sort of nonsense in a newspaper in the last year. The bunch of them can fuck off until they pay their fair share.
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Nick (derogatory) ✨ @slothropsmap.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I have never seen a more compelling argument for modernity.
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
3 panel comic titled “Logging into Bluesky”

Panel 1: 
A Pink Guy bursts into Bluesky wearing a t-shirt that says “Fun”. His little face looks so happy.

Panel 2: 
Six Bluesky users turn to look at the Pink Guy. They all look dour and angry because they have been overdosing on the discourse. Having the current state of the world mainlined into their veins for 22 hours a day has left them real grumpy.

Panel 3:
Pink Guy slowly removes his t-shirt and quietly says “sorry”. He won’t soon forget that Bluesky is the home of Serious Discussion. If he wants “Fun” maybe he should log into the Barney the Dinosaur forums.
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James Ball @jamesrball.com · 18/09/2026
Their parents are frantically on the phone in case they miss their 11am induction seminar.
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Odd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Air friar
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Are you from Liptons? No we’re from Newcastle. Brilliant.
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Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 10/09/2026
Some of those that work forces Are the same that fuck horses
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WHAT A FUCKING RECORD @whatafuckingrecord.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
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JULIAN COPE WORLD SHUT YOUR MOUTH
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Hey, Janice. Bring me my bow of burning gold wouldn’t you, love?
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I don’t know who the worst people are at LNOTP, the Union Jack wavers or the EU ones.
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Should have done parklife as an encore.
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Enough Of That Now @andygilder.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Trump becomes the first orange man to support a united Ireland
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Mikel Reparaz @wikiparaz.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
PAUL: What’s in the box? REVEREND MOTHER: Pain. [PAUL hesitantly puts his hand in the BOX, then FROWNS IN CONFUSION. He pulls out A BAGUETTE.] REVEREND MOHER: Hōn hōn,
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Tom Roberts @tpgroberts.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The UK economy has three major industries: Warhammer, Onlyfans and Little Alex Horne
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James Newton @jamesanewton.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I’m surprised that the coverage of Trump’s bribe has focussed on its legality rather than the fact that its inflation stoking economics for morons.
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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
any phone is foldable if you're strong enough
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