Sign in

network torpedo

@ingr.own.baby
1.3K followers 101 following 6.8K posts

To goon, perchance to cum—ay, there's the rub: For in that hypnostate what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the respect That makes a mess of so long a sesh.

PostsRepliesMedia
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 13h
splashing apple juice over the coals in the sauna
000
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 01/10/2026
Bow 2: Stern
110
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 28/09/2026
AI Fridges Quit In Protest After Hearing Too Many "Is Your Refrigerator Running?" Jokes
arstechnica.com
Owners mourn spoiled food after firmware update bricks Samsung smart fridges
So absurd and embarrassing ..."
030
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 28/09/2026
Chat I've only eaten four times since I woke up Friday and it's now Sunday evening
020
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 25/09/2026
Why is apple fucking around with watches when they should be making bottom jeans by now
161
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 24/09/2026
Herbie Hancock is short for Herbalife Hancock
030
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 19/09/2026
There's a cyclist out there who is really upset that you called his pedals bi
160
Reposted by network torpedo
Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tilly Norwood was found smeared with deer excrement wandering the woods of the Pacific Northwest. She was destroyed by Park Rangers in picturesque Twanoh State Park over concerns of spreading Prions to the local fauna.
627113
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 18/09/2026
@drmitchpdx.bsky.social a friend who is a Portland District 4 voter wants to know if you fuck with Murder By Death (the band, you obv aren't down with murder)
130
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 17/09/2026
Every now and then this post reverberates around the inside of my skull
2141
Reposted by network torpedo
gorlock @gorlock.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
There's two kinds of sinkholes: wet sinkhole and dry sinkhole. The drys can further be divided into rocky type and sandy type. And that's all I really have to say about the topic for now
3262
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 08/09/2026
Two shits passing in my butt
120
Reposted by network torpedo
isla @demomolos.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
game of the year is supposed to be a fourteen hour deliberation in fart stained podcast studios about the friends we made along the way, not guys in suits picking up little statues between commercials
041
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 06/09/2026
You're laughing? Flavortown is washing my goat and you're laughing? 😡
050
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 01/09/2026
Interspecies gay couple throw gender reveal party. Surprise! It's Immortal!
030
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 01/09/2026
@fishttp.website is this fishwife
190
Reposted by network torpedo
Cosmos Lionheart @cosmoslionheart.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
guys, please stop trying to stay hydrated, you don't need to max your hydration levels anymore 🙏 my computer friends need that water to keep making me sonic mpreg porn 🥹
0131
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 27/08/2026
What's the deal with those dudes that have to put one hand up on the wall to piss
240
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 25/08/2026
Disregarding my 6mo old baby and staying up until midnight to play blood dungeon
150
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 21/08/2026
Today's day care report was that the baby really likes putting his foot in his mouth. Yeah dude, I get it.
020
Reposted by network torpedo
gorlock @gorlock.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
chopped liver that is also stupid: what am i? chopped liver?
3221
Reposted by network torpedo
フブキ👑 Letourneau🫃(librarian) @northerniion.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
021637
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 09/08/2026
You need to make a flyer? Just use Pixelmator. Literally do it with Freeform. Make it in Affinity. Literally just try Krita. You can probably do it in Photopea. Dude try Canva. AddText can do it. You can download GIMP. Download GIMP right now. Dive into GIMP. You can GIMP it. GIMP can do it for you.
1131
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 07/08/2026
I'm too neurotypical to play satisfactory
141
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 05/08/2026
Chris Rock, Kid Rock, The Rock nightmare blunt rotation
030
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 03/08/2026
Rhyming pauses and horses? Where tf u from dawg?
They come to a field where Fred stops and pauses
There eating the grass are three pretty horses
"Come join us," Jack says. "Please get into line,
This journey back home could take us some time!"
220
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 02/08/2026
AppleTV sucks so fucking hard at sports notifications it's insane. No notification that a soccer game or a race is starting, it only ever sends a notification to tell me shit is ending in 10 minutes. Why would I want to watch the last 10 minutes???
120
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 29/07/2026
FYI no one ever wants to hear about a podcast you just listened to. Keep that shit to yourself.
020
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 23/07/2026
Overheating, undereating since midsummers eve, watering the flowers so they'll make it when I leave
020
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 21/07/2026
It's so embarrassing when a book for babies that is obviously attempting to rhyme just totally butchers one. Shoes and house don't rhyme, dawg. How tf you sayin "house" to make it sound like shoes?
010
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 20/07/2026
Nude Ork City
220
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 12/07/2026
I hope Brief and Sudden Illness got out ok
120
Reposted by network torpedo
Game Maker's Toolkit @gamemakerstoolkit.com · 06/07/2026
We want to entertain a billion people a day. There should be an Xbox in every house. We want to replace schools with Minecraft. Master Chief should visit my house and give me a little kiss on the nose.
14758101
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 05/07/2026
Kinda fucked up that the only candles America gets for her birthday are Roman
030
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 27/06/2026
I think we should legally define the word "soon" in terms of businesses opening. I think if you're "Coming Soon" for more than three months you should get a geometrically increasing fine for every subsequent week.
110
Reposted by network torpedo
ELLEN OF GENEROUS @funnyposts.online · 24/06/2026
podcasts shouldn't be videos, but i'd posit that many podcasts shouldn't be audio either
141
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 20/06/2026
Fauxtographer
031
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 14/06/2026
Put a bike bell on the stroller so I can ding at inconsiderate people who just stand around in the walkway
2100
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 10/06/2026
Guy who is confused about semen retention and just has labeled jars full of semen that he has collected from various sources on his bookshelf
150
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 10/06/2026
Did Mike Rowe do a salmon semen collection episode of Dirty Jobs?
250
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 10/06/2026
Guy who collects salmon semen with the device the Israeli government uses to harvest the semen of dead soldiers
040
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 03/06/2026
Please sir I just want to pet the cat
I can't pet the cat because my nerve is too low
140
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 24/05/2026
Mormon guy who won't let his girlfriend have a sip of his dirty soda because it's against his religion
170
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 14/05/2026
Guy in a suit jacket and loafers, skinny jeans rolled up to display his bare ankles
130
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 10/05/2026
Jesus began his carpentry career making anti-homeless designs for the Nazarene public benches
040
Reposted by network torpedo
Disco Elysium Quotes @discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
YOU - “Lamby looks soft.” LITTLE LILY - “Yes. Very soft.” Suddenly she pushes the stuffed animal toward your face. YOU - “I don't deserve it. I'm scum.”
017247
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 05/05/2026
Freedom boy child or Communism girl child?
010
network torpedo @ingr.own.baby · 04/05/2026
If you order your latte half-sweet everyone is chill but if you order it triple-sweet everyone looks at you like a martian smh
020
Reposted by network torpedo
Disco Elysium Quotes @discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Time to go to work in the shit factory!
020158
Reposted by network torpedo
scary angel drags you to heaven @shiningangelx.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
me: i love emo bands like blink 182 guy stuck in a time loop in 2008: THAT IS NOT EMO! CAPN JAZZ IS EMO BLINK 182 IS BASICALLY CHRISTIAN ROCK
0323