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Peter Karlin

@heykarlin.bsky.social
1.7K followers 247 following 2.3K posts

I will improve your life in such small, infinitesimal, unimportant ways you won’t even notice after years of following me.

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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 10h
They just showed a fan at the Rays game with a cowbell and everyone around him wants to kill him with their bare hands.
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Joseph Galbo @josephgalbo.bsky.social · 12h
We can still create wonders
Amc theaters Instagram post showing the whalefall popcorn bucket which is a whale and a diver. You eat the pop corn out the back of the whale.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 12h
The Pope really is looking out for the White Sox.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 20h
I quit drinking and it hasn’t changed my friend group at all. Still go to dive bars (Shirley Temple, please). But I feel for younger people. That’s a hard time of life to be the sober one. Doubt I could’ve done it then. My friends do love that they have a designated driver now.
washingtonpost.com
How quitting drinking can upend marriages and friendships
Drinking less is becoming more common, and the social rules around sobriety are still catching up.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Always enjoyable seeing the Padres lose.
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Eric Stephen @ericstephen.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The colossal burger at Dodger Stadium is $124.99, in what I can only describe as “fuck off” pricing
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Who’s your favorite three-legged dog? Mine’s Merle.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Thank god there’s a walnut warning on my walnuts.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’d do terrible if a whale ate me. There isn’t even a shower in there.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
They can just stop the game right?
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If you haven’t checked Aaron Sorkin’s new look yet, soak this in and read the comments.
instagram.com
sonypicturesuk on Instagram: "Aaron Sorkin joins the cast of The Social Reckoning at the UK Gala Screening. Only in cinemas October 9.View all 971 comments"
Aaron Sorkin joins the cast of The Social Reckoning at the UK Gala Screening. Only in cinemas October 9.
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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
if it's not one thing, it's another
RFK Jr says Tammy Craps dolls "don't smell like farts no more, once again" following FDA recall reversal
This article is more than 2 months old
The deodorizing poison once used to kill the fart smell had been recalled after reports that people up to 160 pounds were also feeling as if they'd smoked five Macanudos
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
🤔
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I live for old signs in Sherman Oaks.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
In the back of my parents yellow Chevy Vega. I’m old but not THAT old, Paper Moon was purposely in black and white.
Paper Moon
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Whoa, that doesn’t sound like Hitler.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Whoa, that doesn’t sound like Hitler.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Resident Evil was both enjoyable and a let down.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Having a hard time imaging George Peppard making fudge. Maybe with a half empty pitcher of martinis at his side.
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Milo Ramone 🐸 🌮 @miloramone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Scum of the Earth just told Jennifer at WKRP in Cincinnati they will not accept an invitation to tour with Ed Sheeran.
Still photo of Scum of the Earth talking with Jennifer at WKRP in Cincinnati from television episode.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I have strong opinions about two artists I don’t know a single song of and a bunch of opening acts I’ve never heard of.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
lol
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
There is only one reason a business would call for slowing itself down: the product is horseshit.
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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 12/09/2026
Yes, your honor, I threw the molotov cocktail. But I threw it ironically.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm suspicious of organized religion. I think it goes back to my childhood. When I watched our cult leader carve open my father’s chest and offer his still-beating heart to the gods
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
It’s like the #Dodgers added two new stars today, Josue de Paula and Kyle Tucker.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The first recorded use of the horse walks into a bar joke is 1882. Must’ve killed back then.
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Thanks For Sharing, Jerk @thx4sharingjerk.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Beating the system by buying 10 4-pieces instead of the 40
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Ted Lasso spared us a sappy Christmas episode by giving us a sappy New Year’s Eve episode instead.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
If you see something (horses), say something ("horses")
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Your Honor, please try a bite of exhibit A and exhibit B. Now I ask you…
news4sanantonio.com
Man fatally shoots cousin during heated argument over whose enchiladas were spicier
A New Mexico man was arrested after allegedly shooting and killing his cousin during an argument over whose plate of green chile enchiladas was hotter.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Don’t ask me how it came up, but you can buy a baby fox.
dragonstoneranch.com
Fennec ‎Foxes For Sale | Pet Fox Breeder | Dragonstone Ranch
Adopt fennec and bat-eared foxes that have been hand-raised and well-socialized. Exotic fox kits come with a care package, travel carrier, and breeder support.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Don’t ask me how it came up, but you can buy a baby fox.
dragonstoneranch.com
Fennec ‎Foxes For Sale | Pet Fox Breeder | Dragonstone Ranch
Adopt fennec and bat-eared foxes that have been hand-raised and well-socialized. Exotic fox kits come with a care package, travel carrier, and breeder support.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
This is self-care in the Trump era.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Eclipse or cloud? I’m no scientist.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Rolling out to buy distilled water for my cpap machine. Real meet cute opportunity.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The Dog Stars is DOA if it can’t fill the IMAX in Burbank tonight.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
The headline “here’s what you need to know” has never been followed with anything you actually need to know.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
I thought I understood the English language.
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Siskel and Ebert Bot @siskel-ebert-bot.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Top Gun (1986) Director: Tony Scott Cast: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards Watch Review wp / wd
A screen capture from the Siskel and Ebert Show reviewing the movie Top Gun. Ebert gave it a thumbs down.
 Siskel gave it a thumbs up.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I griped a few times in this space last year on season 2 of Silo. Season 3 has been far better paced and enjoyable.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Frank Beard took some shit for the drum machines, but the dude was aces on the drums.
youtu.be
ZZ Top - Enjoy And Get It On
YouTube video by mistersanchito
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Imagine wielding the power to define future living rooms.
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Peter Avellino @peterapeel.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Disney+ released a list of essential projects to watch before AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY: MASH Brewster McCloud McCabe & Mrs. Miller Images The Long Goodbye Thieves Like Us California Split Nashville Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson 3 Women A Wedding Quintet A Perfect Couple
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ProPublica @propublica.org · 17/08/2026
Babies were found with dead brain tissue similar to what follows cancer and the kind of bleeding seen after a stroke. Their autopsies all came to the same conclusion: Their deaths could have been prevented with the long-standard vitamin K shot. (Published May)
propublica.org
Babies Are Bleeding to Death as Parents Reject a Vitamin Shot Given at Birth
A lifesaving injection given at birth to prevent severe bleeding has become collateral damage of the anti-vaccine movement.
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LA Dork @ladork.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
The Laurel Cyn Fire of Sept. 1979 seen from Santa Monica Blvd. The blaze wiped out 23 homes. The most well-known belonged to Whisky/Roxy owner Elmer Valentine, John Mayall, and MacKenzie Phillips, who lost all the videotapes of her TV show "One Day at a Time" and her cat, Brains.
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Dan Clyne @danclyne.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Adam Driver has been cast as Mr. Bad Guy
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
The End of Oak Street is pretty fun, but it’s aggressively unambitious on the idea front. Was expecting way more big twists and turns. I’d rather a movie swing for the fences, even if it doesn’t quite work.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
$22 for an 11am matinee of The End of Oak Street. 3 commercials mixed in with the trailers. The Coke one we’ve been subjected to for over a year, Amazon and…Chuck E. Cheese.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Hospital not going anywhere, assures chill ambulance driver.
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