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Peter Karlin

@heykarlin.bsky.social
1.7K followers 247 following 2.3K posts

I will improve your life in such small, infinitesimal, unimportant ways you won’t even notice after years of following me.

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Reposted by Peter Karlin
Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 3h
Hi, folks. This is your captain speaking. Have you ever heard voices that told you to do something horrible
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Thanks for your 12-part scholarly reply to my joke about Hitler's dick
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
One would imagine studios learned from the success of Barbie to have a good script. But apparently not.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Not having a single laugh took some of the fun out of the Ted Lasso finale.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
[during sex] This is the bed Grandpa died in
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108.9 The Hawk @1089thehawk.com · 07/10/2026
“ABACAB. The best Genesis album.”
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Is it outwitting when your daddy leverages his empire to pay for your new toy?
hollywoodreporter.com
How David Ellison’s Skydance Outwitted Everyone
An inside story of the billionaires, ultimatums, frantic texts and hush meetings behind the $111 billion deal bringing together Warner Bros. and Paramount. The megadeal twists and turns even had David...
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Due to an unforeseen tragedy, I am officially shutting down my kid-a-pult
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Ebert really shit the bed here.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
They just showed a fan at the Rays game with a cowbell and everyone around him wants to kill him with their bare hands.
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Joseph Galbo @josephgalbo.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
We can still create wonders
Amc theaters Instagram post showing the whalefall popcorn bucket which is a whale and a diver. You eat the pop corn out the back of the whale.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The Pope really is looking out for the White Sox.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I quit drinking and it hasn’t changed my friend group at all. Still go to dive bars (Shirley Temple, please). But I feel for younger people. That’s a hard time of life to be the sober one. Doubt I could’ve done it then. My friends do love that they have a designated driver now.
washingtonpost.com
How quitting drinking can upend marriages and friendships
Drinking less is becoming more common, and the social rules around sobriety are still catching up.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Always enjoyable seeing the Padres lose.
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Eric Stephen @ericstephen.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
The colossal burger at Dodger Stadium is $124.99, in what I can only describe as “fuck off” pricing
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Who’s your favorite three-legged dog? Mine’s Merle.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
That book sucked.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Thank god there’s a walnut warning on my walnuts.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’d do terrible if a whale ate me. There isn’t even a shower in there.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
They can just stop the game right?
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If you haven’t checked Aaron Sorkin’s new look yet, soak this in and read the comments.
instagram.com
sonypicturesuk on Instagram: "Aaron Sorkin joins the cast of The Social Reckoning at the UK Gala Screening. Only in cinemas October 9.View all 971 comments"
Aaron Sorkin joins the cast of The Social Reckoning at the UK Gala Screening. Only in cinemas October 9.
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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
if it's not one thing, it's another
RFK Jr says Tammy Craps dolls "don't smell like farts no more, once again" following FDA recall reversal
This article is more than 2 months old
The deodorizing poison once used to kill the fart smell had been recalled after reports that people up to 160 pounds were also feeling as if they'd smoked five Macanudos
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
🤔
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I live for old signs in Sherman Oaks.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
In the back of my parents yellow Chevy Vega. I’m old but not THAT old, Paper Moon was purposely in black and white.
Paper Moon
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
You think you know people…
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Whoa, that doesn’t sound like Hitler.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Whoa, that doesn’t sound like Hitler.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Resident Evil was both enjoyable and a let down.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Having a hard time imaging George Peppard making fudge. Maybe with a half empty pitcher of martinis at his side.
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Milo Ramone 🐸 🌮 @miloramone.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Scum of the Earth just told Jennifer at WKRP in Cincinnati they will not accept an invitation to tour with Ed Sheeran.
Still photo of Scum of the Earth talking with Jennifer at WKRP in Cincinnati from television episode.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I have strong opinions about two artists I don’t know a single song of and a bunch of opening acts I’ve never heard of.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
lol
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
There is only one reason a business would call for slowing itself down: the product is horseshit.
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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 12/09/2026
Yes, your honor, I threw the molotov cocktail. But I threw it ironically.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I'm suspicious of organized religion. I think it goes back to my childhood. When I watched our cult leader carve open my father’s chest and offer his still-beating heart to the gods
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
It’s like the #Dodgers added two new stars today, Josue de Paula and Kyle Tucker.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
The first recorded use of the horse walks into a bar joke is 1882. Must’ve killed back then.
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Thanks For Sharing, Jerk @thx4sharingjerk.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Beating the system by buying 10 4-pieces instead of the 40
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Ted Lasso spared us a sappy Christmas episode by giving us a sappy New Year’s Eve episode instead.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is why I switched to a hummingbird feeder.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
If you see something (horses), say something ("horses")
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
No thanks.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Your Honor, please try a bite of exhibit A and exhibit B. Now I ask you…
news4sanantonio.com
Man fatally shoots cousin during heated argument over whose enchiladas were spicier
A New Mexico man was arrested after allegedly shooting and killing his cousin during an argument over whose plate of green chile enchiladas was hotter.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Don’t ask me how it came up, but you can buy a baby fox.
dragonstoneranch.com
Fennec ‎Foxes For Sale | Pet Fox Breeder | Dragonstone Ranch
Adopt fennec and bat-eared foxes that have been hand-raised and well-socialized. Exotic fox kits come with a care package, travel carrier, and breeder support.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Don’t ask me how it came up, but you can buy a baby fox.
dragonstoneranch.com
Fennec ‎Foxes For Sale | Pet Fox Breeder | Dragonstone Ranch
Adopt fennec and bat-eared foxes that have been hand-raised and well-socialized. Exotic fox kits come with a care package, travel carrier, and breeder support.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
This is self-care in the Trump era.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Eclipse or cloud? I’m no scientist.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Hahahahahahaha. The kids won’t get that one.
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Peter Karlin @heykarlin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Rolling out to buy distilled water for my cpap machine. Real meet cute opportunity.
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