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Gary Panton

@garypanton.co.uk
4.2K followers 992 following 3.7K posts

Author of THE NOTWITCHES and THE NOTWITCHES: PRISON BREAK. All the links for ordering can be found at garypanton.co.uk/books/ Represented by Rachel Mann at CAA. 📍Perth, Scotland 🌐 garypanton.co.uk

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Amelia Clark - Lover of Flagons @gingertotty.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Can you all agree to ask for my art for Christmas this year, given I now have almost zero day job? Please share! 😬 Have a browse at my more and less serious wares HERE Dippyfishcards.etsy.com HERE ko-fi.com/dippyfish/shop AND HERE artofnote.sumupstore.com #bsnm #mhhsbd #artforsale #art
Partridge in a swear tree cardINTERGALACTIC SPACE FWOG ARTBEEEEEEEEEEE - a lively watercolour:mixed media of a bee on a California Poppy PERRANUTHNOE WAY! A bold landscape
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Bo Thompson @gaudipern.bsky.social · 54m
Today I heard someone use the Human Centipede as a way to explain why large model AI is inevitably heading towards its own self destruction by tainting its future inputs, and honestly? It was a beautiful teaching metaphor.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 4h
Just saw a guy walking down the stairs to the underground wearing a live cat around his neck like a scarf.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 4h
I've arrived in London and I wasn't prepared for it basically still being summer down here.
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Lucy Lapinska / LD Lapinski 💛🤍💜🖤 @ldlapinski.bsky.social · 14h
This Saturday!!! 👇👇👇
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 23h
Back on the train down to London tomorrow, so expect me to be on here grumbling about the other passengers for most of the day.
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Ahmed Raafat @theahmedraafat.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I’ve got sequential work projects to keep me going for the next few months but I am looking for cover/pin-up work. Here are some samples, and more at my portfolio page, here: ahmedraafathussein.myportfolio.com/pin-upscovers Shares much appreciated!
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 27/09/2026
Went to our local for lunch and there was a teenager with what appeared to be his grandparents at the table next to us and they were asking him questions like "are you seeing any girls at the moment?" and he rightly looked like he wanted to very quickly die.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 27/09/2026
When I was in my teens and I first started going to restaurants with people other than my own family, one of the big things I noticed was that everyone else would down their drink as soon as it arrived and have to order another one before the food even came. Still think about that. Animals
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
If they can put a hair stylist on #Strictly, would it kill them to occasionally put an author* on there? Genuinely think putting authors on shows like this from time to time would make a big difference to national reading and literacy levels. (*I don't mean me, obvs. I mean high profile authors.)
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
Really thought Josh was going to be doing the bit Johannes is doing on #Strictly. Having him just hanging around downstairs next to Emma makes no sense.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
Pleasantly surprised to see they're not making Shaun Wright-Phillips wear a glittery knock-off football kit and dance to the Match of the Day theme tune on week one of #Strictly.
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
the "iced coffee at a job interview" discussion is obviously stupid but also a great representation of the fact that every single HR person/recruiter has their own different made up rules for candidates and all of them think they are absolutely correct
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
Had a look around a second-hand book shop in Pitlochry today and was very excited to spot this Skylanders Annual I worked on with @cavan.bsky.social over a decade ago. In perfect condition, too!
The Skylanders Universe Official 2015 Annual.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
I think the thing I hate most about this phrase is that literally all things are what they are. Try to think of a thing that is not what it is. It can't be done.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 26/09/2026
English football fans reacting to the Man City news finally understanding how us Scottish football fans felt in 2012.
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Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Fuck ChatGPT flyers. The future is broadsheets.
A crowded broadsheet with way too many fonts. It says:
Forget ChatGPT Flyers
Say it with 
Broadsheets
Unlimited fonts
Stretch them
Or cram a really long sentence into one line for no good reason
No whitespace
Mix capital and lowercase
Pointing hands
(They're called manicules!)
Don't be left behind
Broadsheets are the future
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 25/09/2026
Back in the summer I froze a load of homemade dough, and I just made this pizza out of some of it, which I'm pretty chuffed with.
A pizza, fresh out of the oven.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 25/09/2026
Just caught myself unironically humming Lady in Red while sitting working at my desk.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 25/09/2026
Loving your work, Dobbies. 🎅🌲
CHRISTMAS TREES!CHRISTMAS WRAPPING!CHRISTMAS GONKS!
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 24/09/2026
Given how hideously wealthy Ant and Dec are, it just feels a bit tone deaf to me to have them in a Santander advert talking about people being scared to look at their bank accounts.
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Muppet Pictures @muppetpictures.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Today is Jim Henson's birthday! Born this day in 1936. Why not celebrate by hanging out with your weirdest, funniest and most creative friends?
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Stefan Mohamed @stefmowords.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I'm not on here much at the moment for looking after my brain reasons. But I am also looking for freelance work! So if anybody needs proofreading, editorial services - including developmental editing - creative writing mentoring or anything adjacent thereof, I am available! stefmowords[at]gmail.com
stefmo.co.uk
Other Services | Stefan Mohamed
Stefan Mohamed's creative writing services, from professional editing and proofreading to lecturing and tutoring.
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Eddie Robson @eddierobson.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Book clubs, please make clear upfront you're a real book club and not a scam seeking to charge the writer $300 to feature their book, otherwise they'll probably just delete the email.
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horror Ewacui @ewacat.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
if you ever struggle with names when worldbuilding just remember there's a whole massive mountain range called The Rockies
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Ash Preston @theashpreston.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
You know what we don't talk enough about? Stars in Their Eyes does Band Aid All the stars are here. Bassey, Jagger, Cliff, Elton, Tina Turner, George Michael, Hucknall, Lennon & McCartney, Bryan Ferry, De Burgh... Fred West as Tom Jones. 📣We UsED tO bE a pRoPEr CoUnTRy
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 21/09/2026
Very, very happy to say that this tale of terror, written by me, is available in all good book shops right now. Honestly, very few things bring me as much joy as writing for Hey Duggee.
The Spooky Stories Badge, a new Hey Duggee book, surrounded by some model ghosts.
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Xero Reynolds 41/100 on Patreon @artificer-ind.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Still patiently waiting to be "left behind" by AI rather than it chasing me across every damn space like a slasher in a low budget flick.
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JohnChalmers+SandraMarrs=Metaphrog @metaphrog.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Join us and Scholastic UK for the Wilomina launch party at Gosh! Comics in London. We’re coming all the way down from Glasgow to celebrate the release of our graphic novel and we can’t wait to see you there! Thursday 24th Sept at 7pm, 1 Berwick Street. Free.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 21/09/2026
Did the Not Going Out promo shoot deliberately dress Sally Bretton and Lee Mack to look like they're about to play in an Old Firm derby?
Sally Bretton (in a green and white hooped jumper) with Lee Mack (in  blue shirt with red tshirt underneath).
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 21/09/2026
I will never understand why anyone would buy Revels when it's just as easy to buy other chocolate that isn't loaded with unnecessary risk.
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Angus Main @angusmain.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
If the BBC want comedy sketches that ‘work today’, maybe they should commission some new sketch shows?
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 19/09/2026
Got up early to make a batch of apple and rhubarb jam for me and some of the other manosphere lads.
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Ariane Sherine Juniper @arianesherine.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Dull Friday night? Why not liven it up with 28 hilarious minutes of Ad and me discussing what happens if you put your penis in a sex robot? 'What if the credits run out and the door closes and you have to wait for customer service?' (How sharp might the door be?!) podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/w...
podcasts.apple.com
What If a Sex Robot Rips Off Your Penis?
Podcast Episode · Ari & Ad Fix Your Life · 18 September · 28min
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Justin Lewis @whenisbirths.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
For those watching #totp this evening on BBC4: my book has been #1 on the Kindle Music chart during this week and is still in the top 10. But you can order it from anywhere! #IntoTheGroove
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Matthew Stewart @roguestrands.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
A new batch of books has now reached me and they're all itching to find a reader, clamouring for me to slip them into an envelope and post them off, ready to be devoured. Would you like to lend them a helping hand?! 😜 If so, just drop me a DM and I'll sort out your signed copy for you...
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 18/09/2026
To think of all those years we wasted with John and Gregg on Masterchef when we could have had the joys of Grace and Giorgio.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 17/09/2026
Got to leave some negative feedback for someone on eBay today. Honestly, what a rush.
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Katie Slivensky @kslivensky.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
"AI is garbage, bro, it gives you wrong answers like half the time and the other half the time makes you stupid." Overheard a middle schooler chastising a fellow student for suggesting they use AI. Whole middle school herd started mocking the AI kid. ...We need to let these kids at the tech bros.
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Hellish @hellishpod.com · 17/09/2026
We are thrilled to be finalists in THREE categories at the Independent Podcast Awards 2026! Best Arts and Culture Podcast Best Music Podcast Best Podcast Artwork See you at @kingsplacelondon.bsky.social on Nov 4th for the ceremony! Congrats to @nickroche.bsky.social who drew our logo!
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Alom Shaha @alomshaha.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Imagine if people united and campaigned like this against climate change or poverty. But nothing brings people together like racism.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 16/09/2026
Just saw a guy on here insisting that anyone claiming not to like Ed Sheeran's music must be lying. Like, seriously, is it really so hard to believe that there might be people in the world who don't have the same taste in music as you?
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 16/09/2026
Guys I'm selling this little baby on eBay if anyone needs a castle.
A LEGO castle with minifigures and horses, first released in 1984.
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John86 @john86l.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
As somebody who grew up watching Postman Pat I was long convinced they’d made about 100 series in my youth rather than the reality that they made this one in ‘81 before I was born and then nothing other than a one off special until another series in 1996. The power of multiple repeats.
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Michael Fry @bigdirtyfry.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Your Grandad Cyclops talks about his school days
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 16/09/2026
On the Ed Sheeran stuff - completely get that he didn't want to let down fans who'd bought tickets, but surely if he'd stood by Macklemore it would've been seen as the venues letting those people down? Then you'd potentially have had other acts boycott those venues while Ed looks like the good guy.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 15/09/2026
Me and a bunch of friends meet up once a year at Christmas time, and each year we joke that we should all put a tenner in a bank account each time and the last person alive gets the money. We've never actually done it, but there's your idea for a 7 Up replacement format, ITV.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 15/09/2026
70 Up predictably moving and fascinating, but I don't really get why it has to stop at 70. Life goes way beyond that age for many people these days, and personally I'd like to see that documented.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 15/09/2026
Amid all the criticism of that Sydney Sweeney ad I'd like to chuck into the mix that I don't understand what "trading sports" even means.
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Gary Panton @garypanton.co.uk · 15/09/2026
So I saw Donna Preston make a homemade donner kebab (sort of) on Celebrity Masterchef a couple of weeks ago and it looked absolutely sensational so I'm giving it a go tonight. Fingers crossed team!
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