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Jordan Carmalt Stokes

@floreustebius.bsky.social
153 followers 177 following 631 posts

“Do take care that if the majority of your dancers are young people that your music is modern, catchy and has some zipp to it. Don’t treat modern youth to the style that is more appropriate to elders of the Edwardian age.”

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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
What’s more: I don’t quite want to say that you NEVER get to do those things after you graduate, but you will never again inhabit a space where it is ENCOURAGED like that, and eventually you will come to miss that part of undergrad life even more than you miss being able to get drunk on a Thursday.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The most Robert Eggers version of Romeo and Juliet imaginable would be a theatrical proshot staged in an exacting replica of the Globe theater using authentic Elizabethan techniques (Brooklyn accents, unruly groundlings, twink Juliet)
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
I think it’s actually more fun to come up with characters who would crumble INSTANTLY
Toad from Frog and Toad are friends, and after all why SHOULDN’T he eat the cookies, they’re his birthday presssent, yesssss
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Cowboy Bebop’s *music* is better than Star Wars’ [dives into a bomb shelter]
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Comics in the Spooky Age 🧛‍♂️🧟‍♀️🎃 @comicsinthega.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
The Mandrake the Magician Sunday strip from September 6, 1959.
In this six panel color Sunday strip, a man is walking down the street when he is suddenly held up by a talking horse holding a gun.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I’ve seen P-Funk twice, and one time the show went so well that the venue literally had to turn off the band’s microphones, at which point George Clinton led the crowd in a chant of “ain’t no party like a P-Funk party, ‘cause a P-Funk party don’t stop!” for what seemed like ten minutes straight.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
mix this 50/50 with Everclear for a “Sidenafil Screwdriver”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
The Táin is one of the stranger bits of ancient epic literature. It has moments of incredible beauty and grandeur, but the other 80% is just walking through the Irish landscape like “ah, and now we come to Jamestown, so named because this is where Cú Chulainn beat James to death with a rock.”
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Sumita Pahwa @sumitapahwa.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
When I first moved to SoCal and took my child to the city library (as one does, first thing), this book title had me confused for several minutes.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I’m just a simple country lawyer, but it seems to me that if we had a whole bunch of additional economic-sanctions-type levers to pull, and the choice that we made instead was to (checks notes) blow up a school full of children, we uhhhhhh deserve to burn in hell
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
See this is the problem with running your financial system on specie! Whether it’s cheese or gold, hard currency is vulnerable to exogenous shocks. (Luckily in America, we have long since embraced Fiat Cheese, wherein the government tells you “that’s cheese” and you just have to deal with it.)
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Bluey is a good example of Todorov’s Fantastic in that you never quite know whether the parents are playing pretend or whether something supernatural’s at work Just as in the gothic works Todorov studied, the naturalistic explanation is *pretty* clearly right… but there’s just enough room for doubt
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whet moser @whetmoser.com · 29/07/2026
feels like every 10 years people are like: oh wait, john leguizamo can *act* act
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
My take on the Odyssey is that it’s past time to start thinking of Ludwig Göransson as “the good Hans Zimmer”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I was looking up the etymology of baba ganoush this morning, and man. Totally unprepared. “Flirtatious daddy?” (??) (??????)
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
A *proper* Scrooge prologue would just be the story of him methodically ripping every tender sentiment out of his still-twitching flesh, and sacrificing the bloody remains on the altar of Capital. It would end with his only friend being dragged off to torment in hell.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
me when I have had either not enough coffee or even slightly too much coffee
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
”SAVE ME!”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Supposing I wanted to learn how to appreciate reality TV: are there particular classic seasons or episodes that I should watch? Stuff that has really stood the test of time? This is partially a question about canon-formation: are there canonical texts in this field? But it’s not only that…
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
This is pretty unique for an American hard ciders in that, when it describes itself as dry, it is not lying through its teeth
A can of Farm Flor dry rustic cider
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
today I learned about Tommy McHugh, a construction worker and sometime petty criminal who, in his early 50s, tried to poop so hard that he gave himself a brain aneurysm, slipped into a coma, and woke up as a gifted cubist painter
Tommy McHugh standing next to some of his paintings. After the coma he also started speaking in rhyme.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I fkkn love this account
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
shout out to my man S22 for failing both tests with honor and integrity (I’m not joking, I think that’s genuinely admirable)
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Movies Silently @moviessilently.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I cracks me up when people are like "You couldn't make THIS movie or show today because people are so politically correct and sensitive!" Sir. There was an entire board in Hollywood dedicated to sniffing out any onscreen hint of married people having sex. Lucy couldn't say "pregnant." Sit down.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
In the parade of horrors issuing from the corrupt conservative majority on the Supreme Court, I’d like to make space for the particular stupidity of Kavanagh’s concurrence. Preface with a grain of salt — I’m not a lawyer, much less a constitutional scholar. But his argument seems to run like this:
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
when I was writing this rough draft, I apparently thought it would be a good idea to include 21 different examples and diagrams and honestly if that’s the caliber of “good idea” that past me was working with, I have my doubts about the paper’s core thesis
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Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Musk says not a single person has died due to him axing USAID. Sadly, part of my job involves tracking aid spending. So here’s a thread with just some of the people who lost their lives because of USAID cuts
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
#makeaterriblecomicday
Drawing for “make a terrible comic day.” Caption:  “ways that the dinosaurs did NOT go extinct, #32:  cocaine habit.”  Image:  a t-Rex trying to do a massive rail but he can’t because his little arms are too short to hold the mirror
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Vance Maverick @vancemaverick.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
The Arnold Schoenberg Center just posted a page from the notes kept by a fellow student, Leonard Stein, which seems to give the specific problem Cage was set. (Complete with C clefs.) "Check possibilities systematically." www.instagram.com/p/DZwo-QJj77k/
Page of music manuscript and notes. At the upper left, a few bars of modal counterpoint, with the annotation "Cage at board."
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Vance Maverick @vancemaverick.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Many of you will know this anecdote from Cage's "Silence":
During a counterpoint class at U.C.L.A., Schoenberg sent everybody to the blackboard. We were to solve a particular problem he had given and to turn around when finished so that he could check on the correctness of the solution. I did as directed. He said, "That's good. Now find another solution." I did. He said, "Another." Again I found one. Again he said, "Another." And so on. Finally, I said, "There are no more solutions." He said, "What is the principle underlying all of the solutions?"
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
suddenly struck by the realization that Those Who Walk Away From Omelas is just what happens when you DO remove Spiders Georg from the sample
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Predator handshake meme, indicating that both Gargantua and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog enjoy deciding which things would be good for them to poop on, and listen I just think it’s weird that it happened twice, is all.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
THIS IS WILD read the whole post
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
I feel like knowing Wyeth’s other art makes all the difference here. Like why does this piece *and only* this piece feel like a De Chirico?
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
All muppet 4’33” feat. Kermit and Animal
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
The kids are building a rocket ship out of cardboard boxes and I got to design the control panel
Crude drawing of a control panel with two buttons, reading “LAUNCH — GO TO THE MOON” and “DON’T LAUNCH — GO HOME — TAKE A NAP”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
fake Star Trek DS9 title card with the text “The Gang Does a False Flag Operation”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Grades, submitted! To the fainting couch, posthaste! [flop]
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Grading a student assignment on “Fly me to the moon,” and having to forcibly remind myself that the actual song has nothing to do with jiu-jitsu.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
The Wikipedia page for Wings (1927) has a section that’s like “two people died filming of the aerial stunts — which is really not that bad, if you think about it.”
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
On the original recording, you can hear Tommy Flanagan try to lift the piano just a couple of times and then give up
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
I’m in grading purgatory right now, which usually means either musicals or horror films playing in the background. But instead I’m watching the Emerald Fennel Wuthering Heights, which is kind of both.
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weird medieval guys @weirdmedieval.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
A pneumatic goblet designed by Ismail al-Jazari in the 13th century. When the goblet is filled with wine, the duck on top begins to scream and rotate before stopping with its beak pointed at a random partygoer. It doesn't stop screaming until the chosen person has drained the goblet completely.
a medieval drawing of an ornate goblet with a bird ornament on top and pipes within
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
rewatching Night of the Hunter, and I can still hardly believe this film is real. It feels like someone trying to describe a nightmare about watching an old movie.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
!
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
György Ligeti’s Poème Symphonique is a work for a hundred mechanical metronomes, started in synch and gradually decaying into chaos and then into silence. It becomes surprisingly poignant — the last labored ticks from the last surviving metronome feel like the heat death of the universe.
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Bob and Carol and Ted and Grogu and Alice
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Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Watching Species (1995) while I grade papers, and look, I was prepared for this movie to be *pretty* stupid, but I was not prepared for the alien to trick the detectives just by dying her hair, and then for one of the detectives to figure it out because he sees a commercial for hair dye on his TV
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Stephen Hopkins @phil-lol-ogist.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
My favorite art history genre is "Judith beheading Holofernes"
A photo of a cat biting a dog's neck with magnificent lighting worthy of Caravaggio
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