Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I think it’s actually more fun to come up with characters who would crumble INSTANTLY 041
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 04/08/2026you would THINK that this shot is cinematography, but actually they just had Kim Novak wear a green dress 040
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/07/2026This is pretty unique for an American hard ciders in that, when it describes itself as dry, it is not lying through its teeth 100
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 17/07/2026today I learned about Tommy McHugh, a construction worker and sometime petty criminal who, in his early 50s, tried to poop so hard that he gave himself a brain aneurysm, slipped into a coma, and woke up as a gifted cubist painter 100
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 23/05/2026The kids are building a rocket ship out of cardboard boxes and I got to design the control panel 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/03/2026Show somebody who absolutely rocks a hat and isn’t Indiana Jones 000
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 27/12/2025I made this glitchy gif the last time this question went around, and I still think I’m right. 020
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 16/12/2025Shout out to whoever decided that the detectives from Creature Cases needed to have a Keith Haring on their office wall 020
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 05/12/2025I don’t know why people keep trying to add “Gaslight” to this list, since that’s not what it’s about at all. 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 04/12/2025this malfunctioning bot could not have picked a worse week to be reminding me of the existence of Cantos 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 01/11/2025The texture I always aim for is wet, but thick enough to eat with a fork. (This image looks about right - and has me hungry.) blackpeoplesrecipes.com/wp-content/u... 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 18/07/2025Paul Hollywood would probably beat me with a stick for this presentation, but this was a good Linzer torte. (I mixed vanilla extract and angostura bitters into the raspberry jam to add a little depth to the flavor - quite happy with how that turned out.) 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 01/07/2025If we know each other IRL, remind me to make korokke for you one of these days. 110
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 18/11/2024I took a picture of that same negative-space bunny! 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 24/08/2024Okay I see what you are going for, New Yorker cover artist, but you do understand that this is basically the opposite of how roller coasters actually work, right? 000
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 25/03/2024This image is extremely funny to me because “Stick Season” is such a bleakly evocative phrase UNLESS YOU ARE A DOG, in which case Stick Season is the dopest shit imaginable. 010
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 02/01/2024Lots of people on the timeline joking about how you can now make Mickey Mouse say “butt” or whatever, but most of that stuff was already protected parody. HERE is the truly forbidden remix of Steamboat Willie that Bob Iger doesn’t want you to see. 020
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 02/11/2023Don’t bogart that joint! Instead, henreid those two joints. 000
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 04/10/2023Made a smoothie with banana, pineapple, frozen cherries, yogurt, and buttermilk, and the color is… surprising. Is there some kind of chemical reaction at work? I get that dark cherries are more purple than red, but this looks like I puréed a Grimace. 020
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/09/2023Feels a little on-the-nose, guys, idk. 000
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 21/09/2023“Okay, but just hypothetically, what if he stepped on me?” 000
Jordan Carmalt Stokes @floreustebius.bsky.social · 02/09/2023This looks like random trash, I know, but I wanted to document the kids using pool noodles to vault the ceiling of their blanket fort. 010