Reposted by FKFTSH
FKFTSH
@fkftsh.myatproto.social
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AMERICA'S LEAST FAVORITE POSTER IS IN YOUR WALLS AGAIN white disabled transgender leftist / 29 / shitposter, artist, and gardener / formerly she was speaking / wear a damn mask she / they / it upscrolled: @fkftsh mastodon: @fkftsh@fkft.sh
!["JOMO
(noun)
Joy of Missing Out. Feeling content with staying in and disconnecting as a form of self- care."
[Drawing/cartoon of a woman sitting on a round green rug and leaning against a goldenrod to light brown beanbag chair. Her eyes are closed she is smiling contentedly with a steaming drink and a book]
Artist/source: itsahappyworld](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:blugtnwci44ith5gxnptp7na/bafkreicelziaqwh77agn5z2m3ifvmh2ccyx4jlktjybnzi3jskvyf7l3ji)
![The Linkedin Civil War (2027-2029) was a fued between two groups on the social media network Linkedin, which was fought over the subject of how to maximize productivity in regards to defecation. One faction, the Hot Rollers, advocated for the use of combination compost toilet and office chairs, known as com-tops. The other faction became known as the Coprohackers, an anarcho-capitalist collective who developed a strict supplementation regimen centered around long periods of self-induced constipation followed by a single diarrhoeic purge day, referred to as the "six days bricked, one day flaccid grindset"
Conflict arose in March of 2026 when several prominent Hot Roller influencers accused the Coprohacker community of being made up of grifters and believers in alternative medicine. The Coprohackers retaliated by accusing the Hot Rollers of being brand affiliates of Moby Dung, the only manufacturer of com-tops in the US. Tensions continued to increase, resulting in hundreds of doxxings and strongly worded vagueposts. The conflict is considered to have formally begun on December 21, 2026, when Richard Keffler stabbed multiple people at the Moby Dung booth during the Maxxed Millennium Business Expo. Although Richard Keffler did not officially identify with either the Coprohackers or the Hot Rollers, this incident was believed to be an attempt at "violently suppressing the Hot Rollers' way of life"[6] and preventing the commercial distribution of com-pots, and violent retaliation from the Hot Rollers quickly followed. The Linkedin Civil War is considered to be the first recorded incident of techno-gang violence,[7] with members of the two factions engaging in multiple shootouts across Silicon Valley and Greater Florida.
In January 2028, a third faction briefly emerged. The Turbo-Shitters believed that by consuming methamphetamines they could "poop faster". They were met with criticism from Linkedin users, who believed that the Turbo-Shitters "simply enjoyed doing meth"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:oqc7737mwl6y22wjqdduujex/bafkreih3tjfcaxsloa63p5fmjybaukmtk57dcfrujpze6ylwtmysti4ciq)
