iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

How people reacted when I arrived on Bluesky…

static.klipy.com

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

youtu.be/BlX-YtXrMeQ Buy this album, listen to it * You can thank me later. * on vinyl if you can.

youtu.be

Who Do We Hate Today?

YouTube video by Jim Bob - Topic

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

And so it begins. Local Asda selling mince pies with a use by date that means they won’t even make it to Bonfire Night. Who do I need to hurt, when I rule the world etc.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

In news unrelated to #wulferhampton, There is one benefit of being an old git. Stupidly cheap motorcycle insurance. £128 fully comp for this little beauty.

Picture of a Suzuki VZ800 motorcycle, cruiser style, white over black paintwork, chrome exhaust on a gravel drive way with hedges a a house in the background.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Porno parody of a classic novel: Lord of the RIngpiece

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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Thinkinge of askinge Chat GPT a questioun about your plannes? Trye a tarot deck. Cheaper, bettir for the environment, bettir resultes. Not so swyvinge evil.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

For the avoidance of doubt, and future denial of responsibility, Yes, I am in the pub.

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Private Eye Magazine @privateeyenews.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

It's Clacton by-election day. Or, if you prefer, Farage-Commons-standards-inquiry-reopening-eve.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I’ve never seen a mobile home with a granny flat. Until now.

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Russ Jones @russincheshire.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Has anybody checked that it's NOT Grant Shapps?

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Spotted this own the side of an Big Tree whilst walking DT Dog yesterday. Has anyone seen @themeadhallbard.bsky.social recently?

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Today I learned a new word from the internet. Spoonspig Google at your own risk. @meadhallwench.bsky.social does the meadhall have an app? Potential revenue stream for you.

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The Secret Barrister @barristersecret.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Gabby: What was your highlight of the half time show? Wayne Rooney: When it finished. I thought it was crap. 10/10 punditry. No notes.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

I told those prawns were out of date.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Well no shit Sherlock. Who pays these people?

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

The Negroni, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, need a fucking drink. Accept no substitutes.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

I’m not a fan of AI art generally, but it does have its uses now and again. I didn’t tell it to add all the little signs and labels, just the main caption. It did all the rest itself.

Create a satirical, cartoon-style illustration inspired by the classic opening scene of the classic British children's TV show Mr Ben. Replace the Mr Ben with Count Binface, wearing his recognizable silver costume and helmet, with a bowler hat on top. Replace the mysterious shopkeeper with Nigel Farage, standing behind the counter wearing striped trousers, a waistcoat and a red fez.. The scene should evoke the cozy, whimsical feel of the original opening shop interior. Add a caption at the bottom in a playful vintage TV title-card style that reads: “Mr Binface entered the by-election, and as if by magic The Grift-keeper appeared.”

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

To paraphrase JFK for Nigel “ICH BIN EIN BINLINER”

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Now here’s a thought. Letters to Rachel Reeves anyone.

can farage appointment to the chiltern hundreds be blocked
蹦 +1
Yes, the appointment can be blocked. Because Members of Parliament cannot directly resign, they must be granted a historic "office of profit under the Crown"-such as the Chiltern Hundreds. By convention, this is usually granted automatically upon request, but it requires the approval of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who could legally refuse to issue the appointment.

If the Chancellor were to block the appointment, Farage would remain the MP for Clacton.

Historically, these appointments are treated as a formality, making a refusal politically and constitutionally controversial, but there is no legal requirement that forces the Chancellor to rubber-stamp it.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Mrs DT has paid a visit to her local record store. Does any one have a spare bullet? I appear to be one short. #HMHB

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

They’re going to have to change the branding on the oven gloves. #HMHB

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

@wulfhelm.bsky.social may I submit a request for Mr Pips Barkings this week. Specifically, people who watch videos on their phone while stood at the urinal. With the sound on. 😠

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

As The Sun* would say “Phew what a Scorcher” *Other more reputable publications are available** Pretty much all of them tbf*** *** Apart from the Daily Mail obvs.

It's Friday and it's 33 degrees. The council estates are lively. The paddling pools have appeared from absolutely nowhere. Every front garden has one that's 80% duct tape and 20% hope. There's at least six kids in it, one Staffy, and someone's uncle cooling his cans in the same water. The shirtless blokes have emerged like they're migrating for summer. White as a packet of Richmond sausages by 9am, bright red by lunchtime, still insisting, "I don't burn, me."
The smell outside is a fascinating mix of sun cream, Lynx Africa, meat and potato pies, and someone's wheelie bin that's been cooking nicely in the heat since Monday. Someone's bought a £12
fan from B&M and is acting like they've installed full air conditioning. Meanwhile someone's nan is sat in the conservatory wearing a cardigan saying, "It's not that warm." The local Facebook group's in meltdown. Half the posts are "Who's dog is this?" The other half are people moaning about kids playing outside. "Can they not scream?" Karen, it's the first sunny Friday we've had in about eight months. They're feral now. Accept it.
Meanwhile some fellas washing his Corsa with Fairy Liquid while blasting donk loud enough for three postcodes to enjoy. By tonight there'll be at least two blokes arguing over whose turn it is to buy more lager, someones kid will have lost a of tooth, and an air ambulance will probably be landing because Brian thought it'd be a good idea to do a backflip off the shed roof into two feet of water.

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Dee Lomas @deelomas.bsky.social · 04/06/2026

“Will you marry me?” Is a marriage proposal. “Will. You. Mary. Me” is a foursome proposal. “Will, you marry me!” Is a time traveller spoiling the future. “Will you, Mary me.” Is a cavewoman trying to make Will, who has amnesia, remember who he is…

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ASH TRAY The First, Popetato of Wülferhampton 📎 @thomasashman64.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Offered with Sniggering 😆 🤣 😂 😹

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

Post an album you've listened to 100 times

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Current mood. Do not need this shit on a Friday.

static.klipy.com

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

Another one bites the dust. No judgement, but if you are going to stand as a councillor for a party with a clear anti-LGBTQ+ agenda, you might want to rethink your plans. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

bbc.co.uk

New St Helens Reform councillor who made adult films quits

Reform UK said Stephen Mousdell had been hounded from office by a

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

@mydoncaster.bsky.social It’s about time someone did something about these illegal aliens!

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Private Eye Magazine @privateeyenews.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Channel 5 launch new series of Cruising with Jane McDonald From the latest Private Eye, out now.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

Douglas Adams was right again. The Electric Monks are here. uk.news.yahoo.com/world-first-...

A quote from Douglas Adams about the Electric Monk.

High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse…..

The Electric Monk was a labor-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder.

Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.

…..The Monk currently believed that the valley and everything in the valley and around it, including the Monk itself and the Monk’s horse, was a uniform shade of pale pink.

This made for a certain difficulty in distinguishing any one thing from any other thing, and therefore made doing anything anything or going anywhere impossible, or at least difficult and dangerous.

Hence the immobility of the Monk and the boredom of the horse, which had had to put up with a lot of silly things in its time but was secretly in the opinion that this was one of the silliest.

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Duty Torturer @dutytorturer.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

This has got to be a swerve on a normal day. "We need you to go to Ascension Island to provide medical support for Hanta Virus patients. Going by sea will take too long so we are going to fly you out, strap you to a squadie and chuck you out the back of the plane." www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/...

bbc.co.uk

Soldier on parachuting to Tristan da Cunha for Hantavirus aid

A specialist team helped supply critical medical support to Tristan da Cunha in the South Atlantic.

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