Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 23/09/2026interviewer: can you explain these gaps in your resume? me: umm I believe those are from the space bar 071
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 03/12/2025why is turducken acceptable but my pigcowlamb is "an affront to humanity" and "how did you get the cow in the pig" 200
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/03/2025Being short at any concert. / ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿᵗ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ (-_-)_-)_(-_(-_-) 020
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/03/2025On a scale of a "Elon Musk'e PR guy" to the "guy who marks the tablespoons on butter", how laid back are you? 020
Reposted by Patsnotatweetin𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™ @napveg.bsky.social · 17/03/2025when canadians go poop 0184
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/03/2025on a scale of lotr the two towers and 9/11 the two towers how depraved is your meme library 020
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinJo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 01/05/2023date: can you take off your work gloves Jim Henson: they have names 4755971249
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinJo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 08/03/2025friend: Our basement just flooded, we have to cancel game night. me: *covering phone* that’s a bit extreme genie: Two wishes left. 131188177
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinStevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 06/08/2024At Jonestown, 906 cultists died of drinking poisoned Kool-Aid, as well as the first officer on the scene, Jeff "Don't Mind If I Do" Ramirez. 8483100
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/03/2025interviewer: can you explain these gaps in your resume? me: umm I believe those are from the space bar 010
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 07/03/2025cop: you have no idea how he came or went? what 𝙙𝙤 you remember? me: the eyes cop: the eyes? me: the C̶̤̞̰͈͔̊͒̽̓́o̸̗̤̍tt̵̨͎̞̹̭̣ö̷̗̗̫͙̙͔̙͍n̵̽̀̈́͑̔ ̴̠̹͇͖͈͉͋̎ĕ̷̛̱̙̫̪͙̐y̵̧̱̍̇̑̕̚͝e̴̅̇͛̓̃͊̔s̷͚̰̙͐̓̇̔ 1205
Reposted by Patsnotatweetin🌻 worm 🌻 @inspector.bsky.social · 31/12/2024*doing that thing where someone dies and i close their eyes but i do it one at a time* 011
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinRads @rads.bsky.social · 08/02/2025My friend says I’m self-absorbed, so I took a long, hard look at myself. Beautiful 317619
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinRads @rads.bsky.social · 27/02/2025BOSS: is your makeup tattooed on? ME: yeah it's exhausting to have to put it on every single morning BOSS: why a clown though 518818
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025a dead giveaway that someone is lying is if they're in a horizontal position on the floor 1184
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025team builder: everyone say a fun fact about themselves guy with three arms, a horn, and a mermaid tail: im from new york 0223
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025it's crazy that discussing sex is still considered taboo when dozens if not hundreds of people have done it 051
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025Futons should be called ace sized bed the way they're both smaller and bigger than a twin 000
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/02/2025Wtf. Was walking my baby AT-AT and someone's Medusa just attacked it. Leash your creatures folks 0301
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinRob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 27/02/2025it's american citizenship, Michael. what could it cost? $5 million? 1371456
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/02/2025"fuck this croissant" - guy, 30 seconds before inventing the boomerang 100
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/02/2025[beauty and the beast] maid: why the hell was I turned to a feather duster cause the prince sucks?! this is some bullshit plumber: I don't wanna hear it that guy who nobody knows what he does: ♟️ 000
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 21/02/2025Agent: I have a script for you. Daniel Radcliffe: Is it weird? Agent: Yes. Radcliffe: I'll do it. 030
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 17/02/2025don corleone : we have known each other many years, but this is the first time you've come to me for counsel or for help. but let's be frank here. you never wanted my friendship. and you feared to be in my debt. me: please I just want a new nickname 010
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/02/2025We could take 100s of billions of dollars to end world hunger OR Here me out. We can make a chat bot that gives you bad info and tells you to jump off a bridge. Awesome right? 131
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/02/2025If your company is spending 100s of billions in an unprofitable product then sales aren't the point. Employee reduction is. Software engineers building AI for these companies at best are only hurting their brothers and sisters for some billionaire to get a little richer. Fuck billionaires 020
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/02/2025angel: so you ended your beef with the humans? god: yup. it’s all water over the bridge now. angel: you mean “under the bridge” right? god: angel: god: NOAH!? 010
Reposted by PatsnotatweetinPeter Coles 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ 🇮🇪 @telescoper.bsky.social · 08/02/2025When they find a person "unresponsive" why do the police always assume that person to be dead? It might be someone working in HR, for example... 1325
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/02/2025Do corporations even consider customer need or sentiment? You'd think with all the data they have, "will customers spend for this" would be top of the list before throwing billions at AI slop or D list superhero movies 010
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025me: how do I trim the height of my grass? friend: lawn mower? me: no, i need lawn lesser, keep up 132
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025I simply cannot believe the supposedly most savvy investors in the country just bought into another freaking buzzword. How do people keep investing in tech that has never proven to make profit? The gap between successful company and stock price is widening every freaking day 000
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025They gave this dude the international criminal feature all for being correct 131
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 31/01/2025The person who invented this workflow deserves the eternity of torture that's coming to them. 1. SEO Google results 2. Promote "free feature" 3. Begin feature webform/intake 4. Ope gotta create account 5. Return to form. 6. Feature needs free trial and credit card info Fuck this bait & switch 010
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 30/01/2025She was the *worst* but she was hella right here. Operating System UI should have stopped with Windows XP 011
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/01/2025Becoming more and more indistinguishable in looks, motives, and idiocy 010
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/01/2025group chats until apple gives up on its peer pressure based marketing 0221
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/01/2025me on Wikipedia learning about mineral hydrolysis, 5 hours after starting on "The Mummy (1999 film)" ( ㅎ_ㅎ) ┌/つ/ ̄ ̄ ̄/  ̄ ̄\/___/ ̄ ̄ 1306
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 23/01/2025i like to say "this isnt my 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 rodeo" and let the other person decide if im being ultra confident or my last experience was disastrous 1132
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 13/01/2025my mind simply can't comprehend that the most ubiquitous song for the "can-can" comes from an opera about Orpheus going to hell 031
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/12/2024my kids, sopping wet, towel on head and nothing else: im so cold me: maybe you can use the towel to dry off and warm up my kids: no i don't think that will work 1143
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 27/12/2024Hot tip. Don't link your Goodreads to your LinkedIn. # ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ 3336
Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 27/12/2024coding teacher: give an example of recursion me: i deployed code to fix a bug i deployed last deployment 042