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Patsnotatweetin

@dontbemeanto.me
2.2K followers 251 following 242 posts

Astronaut, hedgehog, and avid reader of discontinued magazines The letter W is superfluous at best and a selfish twit at worst

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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 23/09/2026
interviewer: can you explain these gaps in your resume? me: umm I believe those are from the space bar
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 03/12/2025
why is turducken acceptable but my pigcowlamb is "an affront to humanity" and "how did you get the cow in the pig"
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/03/2025
Being short at any concert. / ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿᵗ ˢᵉᵉ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ (-_-)_-)_(-_(-_-)
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/03/2025
On a scale of a "Elon Musk'e PR guy" to the "guy who marks the tablespoons on butter", how laid back are you?
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 20/03/2025
ah shit my ratatouille was a lab retread
A quirky wooden sign with a chef who appears to be cross eyed with the caption Good Food
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𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙤𝙣 𝙫𝙚𝙜𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚™ @napveg.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
when canadians go poop
a muscle car with an arizona license plate of "ICYSCAT"
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/03/2025
on a scale of lotr the two towers and 9/11 the two towers how depraved is your meme library
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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 01/05/2023
date: can you take off your work gloves Jim Henson: they have names
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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 08/03/2025
friend: Our basement just flooded, we have to cancel game night. me: *covering phone* that’s a bit extreme genie: Two wishes left.
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Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 06/08/2024
At Jonestown, 906 cultists died of drinking poisoned Kool-Aid, as well as the first officer on the scene, Jeff "Don't Mind If I Do" Ramirez.
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/03/2025
interviewer: can you explain these gaps in your resume? me: umm I believe those are from the space bar
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 07/03/2025
cop: you have no idea how he came or went? what 𝙙𝙤 you remember? me: the eyes cop: the eyes? me: the C̶̤̞̰͈͔̊͒̽̓́o̸̗̤̍tt̵̨͎̞̹̭̣ö̷̗̗̫͙̙͔̙͍n̵̽̀̈́͑̔ ̴̠̹͇͖͈͉͋̎ĕ̷̛̱̙̫̪͙̐y̵̧̱̍̇̑̕̚͝e̴̅̇͛̓̃͊̔s̷͚̰̙͐̓̇̔
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🌻 worm 🌻 @inspector.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
*doing that thing where someone dies and i close their eyes but i do it one at a time*
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Rads @rads.bsky.social · 08/02/2025
My friend says I’m self-absorbed, so I took a long, hard look at myself. Beautiful
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Rads @rads.bsky.social · 27/02/2025
BOSS: is your makeup tattooed on? ME: yeah it's exhausting to have to put it on every single morning BOSS: why a clown though
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025
a dead giveaway that someone is lying is if they're in a horizontal position on the floor
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025
team builder: everyone say a fun fact about themselves guy with three arms, a horn, and a mermaid tail: im from new york
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025
it's crazy that discussing sex is still considered taboo when dozens if not hundreds of people have done it
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 04/03/2025
Futons should be called ace sized bed the way they're both smaller and bigger than a twin
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/02/2025
Wtf. Was walking my baby AT-AT and someone's Medusa just attacked it. Leash your creatures folks
Some component in the subway that looks like an AT-AT from star wars
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Rob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 27/02/2025
it's american citizenship, Michael. what could it cost? $5 million?
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/02/2025
"fuck this croissant" - guy, 30 seconds before inventing the boomerang
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/02/2025
[beauty and the beast] maid: why the hell was I turned to a feather duster cause the prince sucks?! this is some bullshit plumber: I don't wanna hear it that guy who nobody knows what he does: ♟️
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 21/02/2025
Agent: I have a script for you. Daniel Radcliffe: Is it weird? Agent: Yes. Radcliffe: I'll do it.
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 17/02/2025
don corleone : we have known each other many years, but this is the first time you've come to me for counsel or for help. but let's be frank here. you never wanted my friendship. and you feared to be in my debt. me: please I just want a new nickname
A picture of a food label called "dry salami nuggets"
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/02/2025
We could take 100s of billions of dollars to end world hunger OR Here me out. We can make a chat bot that gives you bad info and tells you to jump off a bridge. Awesome right?
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/02/2025
If your company is spending 100s of billions in an unprofitable product then sales aren't the point. Employee reduction is. Software engineers building AI for these companies at best are only hurting their brothers and sisters for some billionaire to get a little richer. Fuck billionaires
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/02/2025
angel: so you ended your beef with the humans? god: yup. it’s all water over the bridge now. angel: you mean “under the bridge” right? god: angel: god: NOAH!?
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Peter Coles 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ 🇮🇪 @telescoper.bsky.social · 08/02/2025
When they find a person "unresponsive" why do the police always assume that person to be dead? It might be someone working in HR, for example...
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 08/02/2025
Do corporations even consider customer need or sentiment? You'd think with all the data they have, "will customers spend for this" would be top of the list before throwing billions at AI slop or D list superhero movies
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025
me: how do I trim the height of my grass? friend: lawn mower? me: no, i need lawn lesser, keep up
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025
I simply cannot believe the supposedly most savvy investors in the country just bought into another freaking buzzword. How do people keep investing in tech that has never proven to make profit? The gap between successful company and stock price is widening every freaking day
Headline: US Stock Outperformance Doomed As DeepSeek Threatens Al Returns: BofA
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 02/02/2025
They gave this dude the international criminal feature all for being correct
A picture of a blogger with the headline "The blogger who helped spark Nvidia's $600 billion stock collapse and a panic in Silicon Valley" but the image looks like it's covering a terroristA clip from the post which just was correct.

"Emanuel's argument shook Silicon Valley not because he claimed that the big U.S. technology companies were misleading or deceitful. His main point was simply that they were nowhere near as smart and efficient as Wall Street was touting them as."
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 31/01/2025
We're in dystopian prologue now
A clip from an article that's either describing the background plot of the game horizon zero Dawn or real company that's doing cellular biology with AI
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 31/01/2025
The person who invented this workflow deserves the eternity of torture that's coming to them. 1. SEO Google results 2. Promote "free feature" 3. Begin feature webform/intake 4. Ope gotta create account 5. Return to form. 6. Feature needs free trial and credit card info Fuck this bait & switch
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 30/01/2025
She was the *worst* but she was hella right here. Operating System UI should have stopped with Windows XP
An image of professor umbridge with the quote
Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected...

Fart. Ploof. Split. Toot
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/01/2025
Becoming more and more indistinguishable in looks, motives, and idiocy
Sam Altman, billionaire, AI industrialist, future destroyer of humanity Ted Faro, billionaire, ai industrialist, destroyer of civilization ( horizon zero Dawn)
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 27/01/2025
Hey Siri, show me an example of code switching
A sign that says no boys or fathers in girls dressing room with another sign underneath cropped to say "no nuts allowed"
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 25/01/2025
group chats until apple gives up on its peer pressure based marketing
Twilight Zone episode: The Eye of the Beholder
A crowd of pig faced doctors and nurses all labeled "iphone" being disgusted by a pretty woman labeled android's face after her "failed" plastic surgery
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 24/01/2025
me on Wikipedia learning about mineral hydrolysis, 5 hours after starting on "The Mummy (1999 film)"   ( ㅎ_ㅎ)   ┌/つ/ ̄ ̄ ̄/  ̄ ̄\/___/ ̄ ̄
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 23/01/2025
i like to say "this isnt my 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 rodeo" and let the other person decide if im being ultra confident or my last experience was disastrous
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 23/01/2025
The Windows Vistafication of MacOS is complete
Anime man confused about butterfly meme. 
Man labeled "Mac Sequoia" 
Butterfly labeled "literally Anything not made by Apple"
Caption "Is this a virus"


If you read this alt text can I get a hell ya
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 16/01/2025
"bullet struck by boeing whistleblower"
Picture of plane taking off with headline "United Airlines 737 MAX Struck By Coyote, Flight Returns to Chicago" implying one of 3 things 
1. A flying coyote
2. A very large and aggressive (or stupid) coyote
3. Passive language
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 13/01/2025
my mind simply can't comprehend that the most ubiquitous song for the "can-can" comes from an opera about Orpheus going to hell
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 03/01/2025
bet the bruise was pretty metal
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 01/01/2025
for a specific niche of audience #cosmere
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 28/12/2024
my kids, sopping wet, towel on head and nothing else: im so cold me: maybe you can use the towel to dry off and warm up my kids: no i don't think that will work
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 27/12/2024
Hot tip. Don't link your Goodreads to your LinkedIn. # ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ
Book called "murder your employer"
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Patsnotatweetin @dontbemeanto.me · 27/12/2024
coding teacher: give an example of recursion me: i deployed code to fix a bug i deployed last deployment
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