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Jonathan E Cowperthwait

@cowp.co
176 followers 135 following 294 posts

as formerly on the bird site (@cowperthwait) and the elephant site (@cowperthwait@sfba.social). Slow runner, fast talker, good writer.

PostsRepliesMedia
Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 19h
Fuck right right right right off.
Screenshot: a text message from a 216 area code number: “Will you please please please please pretty please pitch in $1 to Sherrod Brown's campaign today?”
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autumn coded @hoovybaby.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Just talk to another human already jesus fucking christ
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michael @michaeli.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
these are just soul coughing lyrics
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honkers_enjoyer @epicharis.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
speaking as a civil servant usa.gov needs to adopt this as a slogan immediately
america.gov sounding like a clerk on ketamine: and the republic said I see you

and the republic said you have filed the game well

and the republic said everything you need is within you, and also on USA.gov

and the republic said you are stronger than you know, and your case number is still valid

and the republic said you are the daylight

and the republic said you are the night, and the office is closed, please try again during business hours

and the republic said the darkness you fight is within you, and also a missing wet signature
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Chris Messina @chrismessina.me · 30/09/2026
For an inside look into the mind of the Trump Administration: 1. Go to america.gov 2. type “hello” 3. type “play Minecraft” 4. watch the agent’s reality implode 5. ??? 6. PROFIT!
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 29/09/2026
Who needs to remind @edzitron.com that priapism requires immediate medical attention to prevent lasting damage? www.reuters.com/business/fin...
reuters.com
EXCLUSIVE: Anthropic's IPO prospectus shows sweeping AI vision, surging costs
Anthropic is making a massive bet that AI will ​transform the global economy more profoundly than industrialization, electricity and the internet, according to its IPO prospectus seen by Reuters. The ...
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 27/09/2026
Accidentally washed some black washcloths in my load of whites, and now bracing for a bunch of smug told-you-so’s from Mississippians.
Top view of unfolded laundry. Bunch of white napkins, a white towel, and two washcloths in burnt umber
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 27/09/2026
@brianeisley.bsky.social I still break into a sweat thinking of you straddling the transom and hanging out the windows. Thank you for not falling to your death. (!)
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 27/09/2026
Every morning, a different one wins. I should start a Polymarket. (It kills me that China can’t be arsed to manufacture zigbee-addressable motors that are a) cheap but also b) surgically precise. Also, yes, my windows are filthy.)
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 21/09/2026
Reunion with the cast of one of my first ad industry gigs. Funny who remembers what. Many think I was younger (God bless them); few think I was older (fine); and one guy remembers (fondly) that when I cracked a new client budget I blew it all on Johnnie Walker Blue. I don’t remember, but it figures.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 20/09/2026
Instagram just presented me with a seemingly real video of a sheep wrestling with a goose, in which then goose prevails and then just wails on the sheep, pecking its neck to high heaven, and, honestly, the algorithm finally gets me.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 19/09/2026
I will be trawling LinkedIn to find the outdoor advertising specialist who King Ralphed into healthcare directly from an Indiana highwayside adult novelty gift emporium.
A roadside electrical sign advertising “Wait Time Emergency Room Minimal Wait” in the Microsoft Bob font. In the background, a nondescript red brick hospital building, with signage “Thorek Medical Hospital.”
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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
there's a teaser trailer and everything youtube.com/watch?v=GGJSRFWALTI&feature=youtu.be
youtube.com
You Can See Everything | Official Teaser HD | A24
YouTube video by A24
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 04/09/2026
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 03/09/2026
You don’t think it possible both to decry cancel culture and decry an institution for not more quickly canceling an antisemite, but you are not Bret Stephens. “Cognitive dissonance” is a useless concept for someone whose cognitive oeuvre is “mmm, boot, lick, mmm.” www.nytimes.com/2026/09/01/o...
nytimes.com
Opinion | Did the Met Just Cancel the Wrong Fashionista?
With John Galliano, Anna Wintour cannot seem to separate the man from his work.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 03/09/2026
I am, whatever, 15 years late to this party but I declare JetBlue the spiritual successor to Virgin America (z״l). All these little tiny UI/UX fit and finish details that they didn’t have to do and nobody else bothered to do.
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Lake Superior! Live! @lake-superior.live · 18/08/2026
Current* conditions near Two Harbors, MN:
View looking west of the Split Rock Lighthouse sitting on the rugged shoreline of Lake Superior. // Image captured at: 2026-08-18 19:48:13 UTC (about 1 min. prior to this post) // Image sourced from: youtube.com/@DuluthHarborCam1 // Current Temp in Two Harbors: 73 F | 23 C // Precip: scattered clouds // Wind: W at 6 mph | 10 kph // Humidity: 43%
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 18/08/2026
I mean, on the other hand, when I’m too lazy to make it down to Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack, at least we have this.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 18/08/2026
I’m on the verge of writing a whole goddamn book about this. When token subsidies expire and the LLM economy corrects, look at the sheer quantity of people whose career Zoom alone has fucked. Even at just 1 PM + 1 eng for each of these features, we’re talking millions of wasted person years.
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biftechnoir @kenmegalopsuxos.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Aella’s $18,000 slutcon thingy where she and a crack team will coach you on sex
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
My man looks like Mr. Potato went to Lens Crafters
mediaite.com
‘Cuck Loser’: Top Trump Aide Lets Loose On Jon Ossoff Over Natalie Harp Dig
White House Communications Director Steven Cheung went off on Sen. Jon Ossoff (D-GA) for taking a swipe at a close aide of President Donald Trump.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
If this doesn’t do 10K impressions before lunchtime, I’m joining the priesthood.
Screenshot: my LinkedIn profile (including gold “I have to pay for this shit” badge) posting the jokes in this thread.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
I don’t know, per se, what Gemini will do with that many flights to Daytona, but let’s go.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
Musk: “Hey Grok, buy me that airline with all the racist passengers” “Sorry, Mein Führer…”
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
In response to this, watch Sam Altman just straight up buy Southwest.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
In response to this, watch Sam Altman just straight up buy Southwest.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 17/08/2026
This seems like an unwise tie-up until you remember that Google’s only thriving community is the comment section on YouTube videos, and here is where all of those users, specifically, flew IRL. news.bloomberglaw.com/bankruptcy-l...
news.bloomberglaw.com
Google Aims to Boost AI With Purchase of Spirit Airlines Data
Google LLC won a bankruptcy auction for a trove of deindentified business data, software code, and operations records from collapsed low-cost carrier Spirit Aviation Holdings Inc., saying it plans to ...
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Minor Spear Carrier @tyrellmayfield.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
If you invested $1 in the stock market in 1802 at 20 years old you would probably have died by 1822.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 12/08/2026
“Panti alleges that in 2023, soon after the manager meeting, the Battery’s bar manager told him: ’I will be brutally honest with you. You will never be promoted to work at the bar because your physical appearance does not conform to the standards of the company.’” www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/arti...
sfchronicle.com
Exclusive: Luxury S.F. club sued by workers with claims of ‘slurs’ including ‘hunchback,’ ‘useless’
One of San Francisco’s most exclusive luxury social clubs is facing two dozen allegations of harassment, wage and labor violations in two separate lawsuits from different employees.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
the free health care candidate for governor won the primary over the candidate who texted me twelve times this week. in 2026 america is learning that its citizens want health care more than twelve text messages
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Fellas, is it leftist to doomscroll?
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Lake Superior! Live! @lake-superior.live · 10/08/2026
Current* conditions near Two Harbors, MN:
View looking SW from a vantage point above the shoreline of Agate Bay in Lake Superior with a breakwater cutting through the middle. // Image captured at: 2026-08-10 05:48:12 UTC (about 1 min. prior to this post) // Image sourced from: youtube.com/@DuluthHarborCam1 // Current Temp in Two Harbors: 61 F | 16 C // Precip: scattered clouds // Wind: NNW at 5 mph | 8 kph // Humidity: 81%
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 10/08/2026
Wait, holy Christ, is there no DMing in Bluesky? I feel so fucking old. j@cowp.co me.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 10/08/2026
It’s a deal! Switching to DM.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 10/08/2026
Oh, hey, also, an 8 port 2.5gbit managed Ethernet switch. This one is harder to drop on my foot, so I’m feeling optimistic here. www.craigslist.org/view/d/san-f...
craigslist.org
NETGEAR MS108EUP 2.5 Gbps 8-port managed Ethernet switch + power - electronics - by owner - sale - craigslist
This is a listing for a NETGEAR MS108EUP 2.5 Gbps 8-port managed Ethernet switch with power supply. You may have this for free. Give a buck to someone in need. This is available for local pick up...
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 10/08/2026
I’m not exasperated, you’re exasperated. (PS: free wine fridge in #SFBA!: www.craigslist.org/view/d/san-f...)
Screenshot of a Craigslist post. Body copy is available at the link; screenshot is to show the following angry bold bullets:
• THIS IS HEAVY. IT’S A REFRIGERATOR.
• THIS IS LARGE. IT WILL NOT FIT IN YOUR SEDAN.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 03/08/2026
BRB, doing an MRI at Brad Raffensperger Hall in the Low Flow Toilets Precision Oncology Radiation and Gender Affirming Care Center.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 03/08/2026
Someone should pay me to be the guy in meetings who just points out that [thing] will enrage RFK and DJT and endanger thousands of lives.
Detail of the façade of a newish building on the campus of San Francisco General Hospital. The building wears “UCSF Pride Hall” titles.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 02/08/2026
Fellas. Is it gay not to go literally, literally psychotic?
Screenshot of an Instagram advert:

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Excessive daytime fatigue
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moddotcom MOD Alert. Out Work. Out Last
MOD is sustained energy for the overworked professional... more
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 02/08/2026
One director was assigned the unrejectable commission of shooting every single one of them, and, honestly?, he was pretty good?
youtube.com
AdvGeniusHarryEgipt
Harry Egipt is an advertising genius and a living legend from Estonia. He recently issued an anthology of his TV commercials on DVD format called "The Only Anthology of Retro Soviet TV Commercials".
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 02/08/2026
In the 1980s, every Soviet oblast was ordered to devote budget to advertising, in an attempt to drum up demand for the catastrophically but also hilariously catastrophic garbage wares they had been misled into building their entire economies around. Anyway,
Screenshot of that deranged Sam Altman tweet. No, the other one. No, not that one, this one.

“cool use case of chatgpt work i heard last night:
connect your family calendars and explain your kids' interests.

“every morning for the drive to school, have it make a podcast that talks about one kid's soccer game that afternoon, on … Show More”
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 01/08/2026
It is simply irresponsible and frankly embarrassing to say something like “all AI should be burned to the ground.” This important technology deserves to be castigated with precise language, “all AI *and its practitioners* should be burned to the ground.” www.npr.org/2026/07/31/n...
npr.org
Google pauses AI satellite images, after fears of deepfakes in the sky
Journalists, human rights advocates and open source analysts recoiled in horror at the initial decision: "The opportunities for abuse and disinfo are literally boundless," said one.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 30/07/2026
I have been trying to track down a specific old photo to reprint for my kitchen for over an hour but I cannot look away from all of my 2010–2014 screenshots. There is a Grindr profile of a guy in his Google Glass in here. I would like to track him down, I just have questions.
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JP Larocque @jplarocque.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
I say this as someone who LOVES the original film — there is not a single aspect of Clueless that translates to 2026. It was lightning in a bottle, a satirical glimpse into SoCal wealth during the dying days of ‘90s monoculture. It was messy and silly but charming. A legacy sequel is a mistake.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 30/07/2026
1000% have just acquired a new favorite hobby for when I’m waiting around for my coffee maker to text me back.
Screenshot of a LinkedIn post, itself a link to a 404 Media article about a new “Seems Like AI Slop” button on LinkedIn. Jon adds, “Oh, you nitwits are screwed; you are all screwed.”
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 29/07/2026
Why do you people always think I’m fucking around. I don’t fuck around. ebay.io/m/cDlqOa
ebay.io
COMPLETE AT&T Merlin 410 + Feature Package 2, refurbed 34-, 10-, 5-button sets | eBay
The system wastested working as of July 25, 2026 after about a decade of uninterrupted service as an over-engineered intercom. unknown qty of 8P6C cables (still-bagged-up; possibly incl. blue tip adapter cable).
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 29/07/2026
I lack the patience to properly list all of these individually, so I’m just going to do a single eBay lot, and a whole lot of autistic people are about to claw each other’s frickin’ eyes out.
Detail view of an early 1980s telephone set, bearing the January 1, 1984, markings of Pacific Telesis, the former Pacific Telephone & Telegraph Co., forcibly egested by the Bell SystemDetail view of an early 1980s telephone set, bearing a date code, 84SP05, a part number, Z7303H01B, and “Western Electric,” the former manufacturing arm of the AT&T Bell System. That means this baby has been working without interruption or repair since 1984.Detail view of an early 1980s telephone set, bearing an inventory barcode and the label “Cincinnati Bell Supply, 01/29/99.” That means this baby has only been working without interruption or repair since 1999, so it has another good 67 years of life in it.
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 29/07/2026
We cracked the case. A few years ago, I couldn’t find any more Merlin gear on eBay. Well! Whenever I saw a listing, I had picked up a spare, and a spare spare. Rinse, repeat, for object impermanence and early senility, and, you see, actually I had just already bought all of them.
Five very large business telephones from the early 1980s sit on a glass table, one marked with purple tape (“act on me”)Top down view of a storage bin containing numerous early-1980s business telephone handsets, four telephones labeled “AT&T Merlin,” and assorted accessories
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 25/07/2026
Also, these queens already didn’t sit with me, so
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Jonathan E Cowperthwait @cowp.co · 25/07/2026
It takes a certain confidence to show up the Mr Burns to the gay running club full of Stupid Sexy Flanders, and impishness to post my run to the group Strava and bring down everyone’s average, but I am nothing if not arrogant and inconsiderate.
sfba.social
Jonathan E Cowperthwait (@cowperthwait@sfba.social)
Attached: 1 image It takes a certain confidence to show up the Mr Burns to the gay running club full of Stupid Sexy Flanders, and impishness to post my run to the group Strava and bring down everyone...
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