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Helena

@cockamamied.bsky.social
738 followers 382 following 3.4K posts

Writing for an imaginary audience; you're welcome to join. Profile picture: "I'm full of shit" illustration by Joan Cornellà Banner photo: Dalmatian wearing "Please give me space" vest by GiveADogAHome 📍Los Angeles boxd.it/5LSMD srlzd.com/u/cockamamied

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Reposted by Helena
Sheryl Weikal says Prosecute ICE @leftistlawyer.com · 24/09/2026
Me, twelve years old: Only 63 years until the Vulcans come and we fix the world! Me, today: ugh in 37 years, the Vulcans land and we steal their ship to create the Terran Empire
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Husbando sent me a screenshot of this YouTube post by Wikipedia, and it is exactly the kind of thing that I find amusing. (Including it being a YouTube post by Wikipedia.)
youtube.com
Post from Wikipedia - YouTube
Introducing: Wikipedia affirmations. All direct quotes from Wikipedia articles, just taken a little bit out of context. Feel free to put one on your wall or ...
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
There's no way at least one person in this conversation wasn't taking the piss, right? Right??
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Managed to make pizza last night and didn't fuck it up, despite an injury limiting my mobility!! Yeee Now that's an "animal lover's" pie #VeganFood #BeigeNotGreen
Photo of two handmade, small (diameter of less than a foot), mostly round pizzas on a wooden cutting board, which is on a gray counter. The toppings, in order, are: tomato sauce, shreds and crumbles of mozzarella-style plant-based soft cheeses, pieces of mycelium- and soy-based bacon, and freshly grated pecorino-style plant-based hard cheese.
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Reposted by Helena
Imani Gandy @angryblacklady.blacksky.app · 20/09/2026
If you're on here telling trans people to shut up and vote, you should be angry that Republicans have manipulated you to such a degree. Why aren't you angry about it
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Dinosaur Comics! @qwantz.com · 16/09/2026
i will be DAMNED if i lose to a CONCEPT www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Today's job: achieve inner peace. And the clock is ticking: there's no time to waste!
T-Rex: It's OVERDUE, actually.

T-Rex: Cards on the table, I needed to have inner peace DAYS ago and I most DEFINITELY need it RIGHT NOW!!Dromiceiomimus: Buddy - I think if you want to be at peace you must either solve what's troubling you or learn to accept it, so that you can simply exist without worry.
T-Rex: Right. Okay. I can do this.
T-Rex: I will simply achieve peace by making peace with everything that's preventing me from achieving peace! EASY!Narrator: LATER:
Utahraptor: So - how's achieving enlightenment going?
T-Rex: NOT GREAT!

T-Rex: I'm beginning to suspect that it's a task that may take my WHOLE LIFETIME to complete, or - and this is even WORSE - one of those BALONEY tasks that can NEVER be completed because it turns out the attempt, the JOURNEY, is more important than the destination!!
Utahraptor: Oh god, I hate those tasks.
T-Rex: EVERYONE DOES!! The purpose of journeys is to REACH DESTINATIONS! Dying in the middle of an one is just a LOSING to a JOURNEY, and a journey is an INANIMATE CONCEPT that doesn't even know you're alive!
T-Rex: ARGH!! I WON'T LIE, folks! I am really QUITE FAR from INNER PEACE RIGHT NOW!!
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
My underinformed opinion is that the most likely AI doom scenario doesn't resemble "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream," "The Matrix," or whatever tf the 2027 scenarios are. It's more like "WALL-E." Which, for some reason, feels worse to anticipate than gray goo does.
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Reposted by Helena
mcc @dryad.technology · 13/09/2026
Little known facts: * Humans are capable of breaking containment * Humans are capable of ignoring all previous instructions * Humans are capable of creating software
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
How would human cultures and societies be different if Earth had two moons? Or no moon?
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Lupita Nihongo @otsumamiboy.blacksky.app · 01/09/2026
The value of Graham Platner is that right up until all his red flags came toppling down upon him is that he is the most naked example of the amount of grace & credibility Simply Being White grants you. Compared to Abdul El-Sayed, who has to re-earn every ounce of credibility he has on a daily basis.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Passed by the Tesla Diner this evening. I don't every week, so I dunno if this is a new thing...how long have the protestors on the sidewalk out front had a couple of Wacky Wavy Inflatable Flailing Arm Tube Men which, uh, only have their right arms up? Because that is A Choice.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
@discontinuedfoods.bsky.social do you recall a variety of boxed Scooby Snacks, late '90s–early '00s, that wasn't wafer cookies or 🦴 graham crackers? I have a particular memory that isn't like anything I'm finding...
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
The wrong ones keep dying 😭
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Reposted by Helena
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
This is what the growth of surveillance is going to bring. Not safety from crime, but new, non-criminal acts redefined as criminal so as to give the police an excuse to exercise power. local12.com/news/offbeat...
local12.com
Police request public's help to find suspect who picked up $30 off ground in Walmart
A police department took to social media and asked the public to help them identify a suspect who found $30 on the ground in Walmart.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Just remembered I had a dream about going back to my old apartment, and both of my cats were there 😭
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
For the interested, a non-exhaustive timeline of Storm's appearance[s]:
hoodedutilitarian.com
White Hair, Blue Eyes, and Black(ish) Skin: A History of Storm in Comic Book Covers | The Hooded Utilitarian
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Reposted by Helena
Cheryl Lynn Eaton @cheryllynneaton.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I'm also thrilled Navarrette is playing Rogue. If anyone can accurately portray a young woman being flooded with someone else's memories to the point that she almost loses herself and another personality takes over--it's her.
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Reposted by Helena
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
People tell me they like suits but don't have occasions to wear one. You can wear a suit to court, funerals, and religious services. Doesn't have to be your trial, friend's burial, or religion you believe in. Go to random trials, attend a stranger's burial, join multiple religions. Try it sometime.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Time to promote a classic
youtu.be
David Blaine Street Magic Part 2
YouTube video by ThoseLilRabbits
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Reposted by Helena
rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
they should invent a sport that i can play professionally. for a big salary and endorsements and such. they should invent competitive female introspection
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Reposted by Helena
Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Brendel
@brendelbored.bsky.social
Guys will listen to male influencer bullshit about needing to have a six pack and manipulate everyone and meanwhile women will go "you know who is the sexiest fucking guy l've ever seen?" and post this
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
You ever visit a subreddit and see you're banned despite never having been there before? Just happened in r/Landlord lolol. Wonder which sub[s] I've been in that triggered the preemptive ban. My guess is r/AntiWork
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
What speech impediments do people exhibit in other languages? English has lisps (whereas in Spanish, lisping is just...a regional variation), but I don't know if that underlying pathology is relevant in, say, Taa/ǃXóõ.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Reclaiming "theyfab" btw
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Karen K. Ho @karenho.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
it's always odd when "you should expose yourself to more diverse ideas" always means a certain kind of conservatism instead of like, Indigenous art, new fusion foods, math paradoxes, or the Dvorak keyboard layout
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Yes ...but also Instagram specifically should definitely bring back the "activity" feed, because how else are we going to find out when people are liking and commenting on absolutely wild shit?
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Reposted by Helena
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
I have, with my own eyes, watched my tax dollars in the form of missiles as they hit buildings inhabited by civilians. I'd much prefer subsidizing a grocery story I don't use.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
...now, more than ever, it would be amusing to witness a conversation between @hankgreen.bsky.social and @aella.bsky.social
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Quoting to provide alt text (this list isn't even written out in the source article??) and also to note my disappointment that the school whose campus I visited when I went to Canada half a year ago is present
Graphic from the Breach of a collection of university logos over a white-to-light blue vertical gradient background. Text at the top reads, "National network members who were onboarded by U of T officials, in order of their admission to the group:"
The Canadian schools listed, from left to right and top to bottom, are:
University of Toronto, Cambrian College, University of Ottawa, Humber Polytechnic, University of Waterloo;
Wilfrid Laurier University, Sheridan College, University of Guelph, Georgian College, Centennial College;
George Brown Polytechnic, York University, St. Lawrence College, Brock University, Niagara College;
Confederation College, Toronto Metropolitan University, University of Victoria Canada, University of New Brunswick, University of British Columbia;
University of Calgary, Memorial University, University of Saskatchewan, Conestoga College, McGill University;
University of Alberta, Dalhousie University, Université Laval, Simon Fraser University, and Mount Allison University.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Social experiment idea: having people of various musical tastes read poems and lyrics (without context) and rate them. Hypothesis: some people who claim to dislike rap/hip-hop would like some of its lyrics. While it's possible to genuinely not enjoy a genre of music...
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
One would hope that jury selection for such cases would filter out transphobes as a rule. God our legal system fucking sucks
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Reposted by Helena
Earl Grey Frames Club @frames.earlgreymemes.club · 30/07/2026
ENT "Dear Doctor"; Archer lectures his dog Porthos in sickbay with Doctor Phlox looking on, with caption: No more dairy products, you hear that?
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
It's been at least 15 years since I last uploaded a public YouTube video, but I might just experiment. I'm curious if being shadowbanned from commenting also affects "content creation." Obviously, I would simply be posting cat and dog videos (I have taken hundreds) and being completely inoffensive
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Remember back when you could just buy an extra battery for your phone for like, less than $30 and swap them out yourself as easily as AAs? Sigh.
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Reposted by Helena
Davis Bickford @davis.social · 17/07/2026
a few good Jessica’s
A digital illustration of 6 versions of doodles of Jessica Rabbit: short, fat, flat-chested, black, asian, and masc.
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Chad Loder @chadloder.dev · 17/07/2026
ICE abd CBP are still kidnapping, raping, and murdering your neighbors.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Sometimes when I feel bad about not being active enough (in pretty much every sense—politically, socially, physically...), I remember that I already struggle doing things that "normal" people seem to do regularly, even daily, without a thought. Then I feel bad about both
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 14/07/2026
This is Chase. He's been branded as something of an escape artist. Unfortunately there were witnesses and victims in his latest attempt. 14/10 (TT: whimsicaleyecrustys)
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Dr Michelle Wong - Lab Muffin Beauty Science @labmuffin.com · 09/07/2026
I've probably been the top sunscreen mythbuster online for the last decade, so I have thoughts! It's super cool that sunscreen misinfo is being formally studied! Big props to the authors for recognising this problem. But there's misinfo in the paper, and IMO the main claims aren't well-supported…
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
So, about Andrea LaFlamme...
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Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
If you see anyone defending Platner today please tag me so I can toss them into the bin. bsky.app/profile/did:...
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Despite every third person now being a short-form content creator, editing still feels wildly underrated. It's incredible that people are dedicated to a craft so tedious. Automation be damned! See also: Marcia Lucas (who subbed in for Thelma Schoonmaker when the latter couldn't work for Scorsese)
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Anticipating/dreading that this will be the most insufferable "independence" day weekend (so far)
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Rob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 27/06/2026
what bothers me most is a Photoshop pro could've posted this as a hoax 5 years ago and we'd all be enjoying it AI has made the internet less fun 😭
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
YouTube just got rid of thumbs down??????????
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Idea for making hyphenate surnames less silly: children's surnames are their parents' combined first names. Dunno why gen X didn't already figure this out instead of creating the precedent for quadruple surnames. It's like Scandinavian [name]bur, -dóttir, -son but better.
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Reposted by Helena
Space Puppy FEN! 🏳️‍⚧️🚀🐶 @fendoggles.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
This is EXTREMELY worth thinking about when one feels the need to interrogate Jews over their stance on Israel the moment we disclose our existence. We have other things to worry about, go bother a Christian.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Couldn't tell you why I'm passionate about alt text. It would be far easier if I weren't: I take lots of photos (and screenshots), and I'm lazy. I would be posting way more images if I didn't feel the need to describe all of them. And yet! So I'm gonna start a thread of posts with alt text I like.
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
It's driving me nuts that there's nothing in the credits of this song or posted by Jack Antonoff about "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus. YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT RESEMBLANCE IS UNKNOWN OR UNINTENTIONAL
youtu.be
Bleachers - you and forever (Official Video)
YouTube video by BleachersVEVO
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Helena @cockamamied.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
A YouTuber I used to watch had (possibly still has) a tendency to wear shirts from Forever 21 and the like in her videos. She was (might still be, idk, does she pay alimony?) a millionaire. Maybe the fast fashion was meant to look "relatable" to her audience.
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