Sign in

chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️

@cmd.wtf
448 followers 279 following 506 posts

👩🏻‍💻 coding | ⚡ e-engineering | 🎮 gaming | 🧝🏻 ttrping | 🛼 skating | 🏳️‍⚧️ fighting for human rights a perpetual mess cleverly disguised as a functional human being i was @_nitz on the bird app forever ago ✨ cmd.wtf ✨ any pronouns

PostsRepliesMedia
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 18/09/2026
I love paper towel / toilet paper math so much "6 = 37!!! You won't believe how much paper we squeezed into this paper!"
111
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 31/08/2026
With the lake now named "America", I guess we have to update the old "HOMES" mnemonic for remembering the names of the great lakes. Since "HAMES" isn't particularly meaningful, it'll need to be reordered: SHAME
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 18/08/2026
This is the actual URL for the Florida DMV self-service site. This is exactly the sort of thing I have spent the majority of my life telling people to not click. How the fuck any governmental service can look at a place they expect people to put SSNs into and be like "yeah .my.site.com" is great!"
A screenshot of the "Florida Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles" DMV portal, with the URL in the address bar: mydmvportal-flhsmv.my.site.com. I wish I was joking.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 11/08/2026
normalize saying "1 megameter" instead of "1000 kilometers"
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 25/07/2026
how much money do resturants steal from people by charging for sauce and not actually giving it to the customers? sure it's only a little bit of money at a time, but that shit must add up because it happens to me *constantly*
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 24/07/2026
back in the early '00s, i had a monochrome lcd pda. i had a piece of software on it called "mirror." all it did was turn all the pixels on the screen on to make the screen as dark as possible, and because of that: shiny i still think that was neat.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 16/07/2026
wow. general motors really woke up and said "you know what? let's make our systems less secure!" this is seriously the first time i've seen a platform *remove* TOTP as an option for absolutely no reason
a screenshot of an email from GM stating that by the end of august, third-party authenticator apps will no longer be supported to sign in, and only SMS or Email verification will be.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 22/06/2026
Thank goodness they wrote dongle on this dongle. Otherwise I might not know what it is.
A dongle with the text “Dongle” on it
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 22/06/2026
I’ve had this cursed USB cable in my possession for probably close to 2 decades. I’ve dared not throw it away, because it presumably exists for a very specific reason. I’ve also dared not ever plugged it into anything, because it’s my sworn duty to keep as much magic smoke inside things as possible.
An old USB cable. Both ends have type A male connectors.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 15/06/2026
Being an adult means constantly unsubscribing from mailing lists that always seem to magically re-add you mere moments later.
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 13/06/2026
Our skating rink asked us what kinda prizes they should get for their arcade, and we told them Pokemon cards. They definitely understood the assignment.
An arcade prize wall with a large quantity of Pokemon cards
080
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 21/05/2026
Just sos chaining trying to get dex entries for gorebyss and huntail… and end up getting a shiny clampearl before either of the evos at all 😝
A photo of a 3DS showing the Pokedex entry for. Shiny clamperl.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 17/05/2026
I don’t know how much a shadow weighs, but I can promise you that it’s not light.
022
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 15/05/2026
Ngl I get it now, why people shiny hunt. Mainlining dopamine like it’s going out of style.
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 05/05/2026
So I decided I was gonna shiny hunt celebi on the 3ds vc crystal. But since I’ve never done an 8192 hunt, I figured I’d try for a shiny starter before I played the whole game, to see if I could handle it. Now less than 200 resets later… kinda afraid I blew all my luck on the wrong hunt 😜
A photo of a shiny cyndaquil on a 3ds
120
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 28/04/2026
I just got junk mail (as in physical paper in my mailbox, not email) advertising senior care with the tagline "It's about time"... addressed to my father. Reader, my father died two decades ago. Someone really out there paying money to print and mail without checking if people are dead 😂
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 19/04/2026
A hill I will die on: Captain’s Wafers are better than saltines. Full stop.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 14/04/2026
Can someone explain to me what happened here? I finally felt like I had just taken the upper hand in the battle and … “draw”? We both had 5m+ on our move times? I feel like I just got ripped off. #pokemonchampions
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 10/04/2026
I spend what is likely an inordinate amount of time trying to ensure my next meal will include cheese in some way
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 08/04/2026
Any VR devs out there have any guesses as to why Unity would render nothing but a skybox to the headset? The camera preview correctly shows geometry, but somehow that never makes it to the HMD? (Video below shows me rocking the camera rotation, you can see the skybox move in the VR view.) #gamedev
182
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 07/04/2026
6 times in the past year and a half, Uber has emailed me to tell me my account will be "deleted in 30 days" if I don't log in to keep it active. I've never logged in during any of that time. Why won't you just delete my ac-- oh. You're advertising and pretending it's not spam. Fuck you, Uber.
Screenshots of an email search showing 6 emails since December 30th 2024 with the same title and text, "Your UBer account is scheduled to be deleted"
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 07/04/2026
Had a tab with Cam's (@playtowinmtg.bsky.social) Urza list open, and now I get to explain to my coworker why I was on a page titled "A NUDE EGG THAT I WON..." 😂 the universe seems to really be trying to make me watch itysl, with as often as i'm seeing (or living ig) the memes
141
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 02/04/2026
Do electrodes dream with electric sheep?
A screenshot from the game Pokemon Pokopia. A Voltorb sits on a wooden bench next to a Mareep. Both are sleeping.
062
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 23/03/2026
my hobby: typing wholehearted, lengthy replies to posts; reading what i wrote; and then pressing cancel thinking "nah, this isn't adding anything"
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 20/03/2026
I love (read: sarcasm) how more and more often I'm seeing companies use "account updates" as an excuse to send you spammy promotional emails with no way to unsubscribe. Seealso: push notifications. I'm so sick of corporations having such unfettered access to us at this point.
A screenshot of an email I received from Groupon, advertising a coupon code for "up to 40% off your next Groupon deal." There is no unsubscribe link, and the message footer reads: "This message relates to your previous Groupon purchases and your account’s eligibility for a limited reactivation benefit. "
100
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
Jason Koebler @jasonkoebler.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
i hate my editors
33110579
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 11/03/2026
being a grown up is constantly unsubscribing from email lists you never signed up for
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 18/02/2026
i always thought the flowbee was gonna have a bigger impact on the world
001
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 12/02/2026
what kind of munster would do this to someone?! anyone who would treat you this way is a total curd
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 11/02/2026
When I was but a sprout, I wondered why all the graybeards were so disgruntled with the state of everything. Every passing moment as the natural color fades from my roots, I empathize more and more.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 10/02/2026
Slide in a talk I'm watching this morning: "Take a step back to see if you can divide the elephant" Someone should ask the elephant how it feels. If we're going to address it, that is.
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 09/02/2026
"Have a nice day" - kind sentiment, standard fare "Have a good week" - as above, if mildly less normal "Have a great year" - appropriate in specific contexts, otherwise odd with no frame of reference "Have a good life" - paradoxically rude to downright threatening
010
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
Giovanni Colantonio @marioprime.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
the olympics just aired a fuckin video package about a figure skater’s love of magic the gathering
Amber Glenn talks about Magic in front of fantasy art.
1137248
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 24/01/2026
🖕🧊
000
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
Lucy 🕊️ @lucysrausch.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
if you use an iPhone, turn on iCloud Private Relay. now. it is not a VPN; but it comes with your iCloud subscription and will protect against this form of surveillance. without impacting your user experience.
69461
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
onion person @junlper.beer · 07/01/2026
“in america, you deserve to be murdered by the state if you have gender pronouns in bio”
228102791541
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
Nanoraptor @nanoraptor.danamania.com · 03/01/2026
It's fascinating to see the changes in one company's logo over the years.
A bunch of microsoft logos from the 70s, 80s, 90s and today but instead of saying Microsoft all of them spell Microslop in the vibe of the original logos.
4269711780
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
We had a good run
96141613100
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 19/11/2025
saw a job posting this morning that listed the first requirement as "maintains a positive outlook" welp, guess that rules me out!
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 12/11/2025
Debugging in prod again, huh @culvers.com?
A screenshot of my attempt to log in to Culver’s, where the login target says”Apple V2 - Test”
020
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 07/11/2025
I think I’m starting to see why people have boxes full of shinies they are giving away. I’ve just been bench rerolling to try and get a shiny ♀snorunt, with not much luck. But I didn’t realize just how many I was rolling total?! #plza
120
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 01/11/2025
Someone found a typo in a small lib of mine on GitHub. Instead of just fixing it, rolling their eyes and moving on, or any other option, they decided to open an issue with a screenshot of that single line and the text “wtf bro”. I can’t fathom why that seemed like a good use of time to them 🙃
a screenshot of a GitHub issue. The poster’s message has a screenshot of a single line of code, with the text below it reading “wtf bro”
020
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 16/10/2025
"feature flags" are just spooky booleans at a distance
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 15/10/2025
How absolutely desperate is @microsoft.com @microsoft365.microsoft.com to sell their AI mess? Well; today they emailed (spammed) a mailbox we use exclusively for our support ticket software. So I *know* that email didn’t sign up for any lists, and yet we get spammed anyways. Absolutely pathetic.
A screenshot of a support ticket created from receiving an email. The email was advertising m365 copilot. Microsoft saw an email address and thought “it’s free real estate.”
010
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 14/10/2025
The new iOS thing that screens calls for me is neat. Today it screened a caller that was some AI voice scam. The future really is just a bunch of AI talking to itself.
100
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
Shalesha @shalesha.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
“This isn’t the America I know” Black People:
10883881396
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 11/09/2025
life's short. go ahead, debug in production. you can have a little excitement, as a treat
000
chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️ @cmd.wtf · 26/08/2025
ugh fuck offffff i'm so sick of this shit being crammed into EVERY FUCKING THING i don't want copilot. i don't want gemini. i don't want geepeetee. i don't want your chatbot. i want you to fuck all the way off.
a screenshot of a firefox toolbar with a popup that says "New! Summarize pages in one click" and "Add an AI chatbot to the Firefox sidebar to quickly summarize pages."
010
Reposted by chris 💖🧚🏻‍♀️
cinnamon 🐇 🏳️‍⚧️ @plushie.holdings · 22/08/2025
there's no place like home
411112