Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Very unfair that an entire tri-state area’s collective mental health is in the hands of this man. 010
Reposted by Christian AlsisDan Clyne @danclyne.bsky.social · 02/10/2026It’s October 1st, which means I’m starting my month-long spooky post thread. Starting with this tale of terror: “Mind if my uncle rests his teeth on your neck?” “Not at all,” said the guy. “Did I mention my uncle…is a vampire?” But it was too late. The biting was already happening. 174
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Are the eagles hazing with these swing passes to Lemon? 010
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 29/09/2026“There were two fouls on the play. Illegal use of hands, hands to the face, offense number 65. After the play, personal foul, defense number 28, beating the quarterback senseless with a hammer. These penalties offset. Replay third down.” 010
Reposted by Christian AlsisBrian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 25/09/2026the philadelphia phillies imo 2572
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I keep getting these videos where they inflate a balloon in your nose and it starts coming out of your mouth and they pop it and it’s supposed to clear your sinuses or something (not made entirely clear and the captions of these videos are always in an unrecognizable language)? 120
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026They should give Flo from Progressive a special Oscar 000
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Have it your way, @chipchantry.bsky.social. By Halloween, you will be regretmaxxing. 030
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Dollar Tree in the suburbs of Philadelphia has plenty of lifetime memberships to the Miami Dolphins fan community on sale. Get them while they’re hot! Buy low while you can! 030
Reposted by Christian AlsisAF @arkansasfred.bsky.social · 20/09/2026[fully horizontal on the couch, balancing a beer on my belly] He needs to lower his shoulder and get that first. 0302
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 19/09/2026I think the Phillies have it* this year. (* - full diaper) 020
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Before I mark it as spam, is this you, @gojeffgo.com? 130
Reposted by Christian AlsisAF @arkansasfred.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Right now all across the country thousands of football fans are pulling on their favorite team’s jerseys, loading their families into their cars, and making their way to an NFL stadium where they’ll be involved in a drunken, violent, life-ruining fistfight. 1537741
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I know that look. That’s the look of a guy who was fired from Turner & Hooch after just 13 days and is still working on his perspective about what happened with Tom Hanks. 042
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026The NFL is a copy cat league. Pretty soon, every team in the league will be volunteering to travel 16,000 total miles to get blown out by a division rival in embarrassing fashion on the world’s stage. McVay is always one step ahead of everyone else. 020
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Texting random numbers the following sentence: “Grampy got into the horseradish again” 010
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Treat yourself to some Boston sports radio today. 010
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 09/09/2026That’s funny. Because I can’t think of anything Wrse 031
Reposted by Christian AlsisDougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 08/09/2026dig through the TINKER and burn through the TAILOR and slam in the back of my SOLDIER SPY 172572645
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 05/09/2026I always forget how boring week 1 of college football is. Every game is like #1 ranked Powerhouse State vs Dingleberry Tech and the final score is always 78-3. 020
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I know I’ve said it a few times now, but this is the last time I’ll buy carbon credits from the back of Jeff Monthly. 041
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Despite the viral video you’ve likely already seen of the husky man being savagely beaten by the Dapper Dans, I had a great time with my family in Disney World last week. 010
Reposted by Christian AlsisBayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 01/09/2026When you use a browser you’re not used to and the home page is all news that’s like, “Moneydoobie Uses 10,000 Water Canons to Recreate His Iconic Meme from the 2017 Gunky Awards” 0855
Reposted by Christian AlsisJoe Moore @joooooemoooore.bsky.social · 31/08/2026In a few minutes the time will be what I did to the mozzarella sticks yesterday. 8:45. 0103
Reposted by Christian Alsisdelco de leche @delcodeleche.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Eagles have also decided to award a retroactive Best Picture Academy Award to the 1991 Kathleen Turner cop thriller V.I. Warshawski. “I’m honored” says executive producer Jeffrey Lurie. 1314
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026You know you’re from a classy family when your sister says “why are you dressed so nice” and you’re only wearing a John Kruk jersey. 050
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Dollar tree melatonin had me fist fighting the my dinner with Andre guys in what felt like my high school gym but wasn’t actually my high school gym. Woke up drenched in sweat. 10/10 130
Reposted by Christian AlsisChip Chantry @chipchantry.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Happy birthday to @christianalsis.bsky.social, a man who, despite the allegations, never stepped foot inside that Little Caesar’s location! 051
Reposted by Christian AlsisSteve K 🎃 @skleinedler.bsky.social · 21/08/2026I would rather eat my own hand and slowly bleed out 3242
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 22/08/2026An account with this avatar was just blocked. 1122
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I failed a CAPTCHA earlier where I had to select all the “HATS” because I didn’t select a visor. Sorry, but a hat needs to have a lid. If that makes me a dirty stinking robot, so be it. 130
Reposted by Christian AlsisAwful Announcing @awfulannouncing.bsky.social · 19/08/2026"If you don't wear a cup, adoption is an option" - John Kruk 34910
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Listening to the Phillies radio broadcast and the new slogan for Burlington is: “Burlington: we’re better than you remember” 010
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 18/08/2026Upon further reflection, this wasn’t quite ready for the masses. After careful consideration, this move will now be known as a “piggy pass” (since you are essentially passing an object from your piggies to your hand.) Please start using “piggy pass”at your earliest convenience. 120
Reposted by Christian AlsisNovelty Cistern @noveltycistern.bsky.social · 24/06/2024ME: -might think they were a comedy band. But "What Deener Was Talking About" is a touching exploration of depression. "Spirit of Sev- PINHEAD: actually, your excruciation has ended. i release you. we're leaving. ME: you said the torment was eternal PINHEAD: yeah, well. it felt like it. to me. 012822
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 15/08/2026This will probably come off as harsh, but everyone who spends actual money to listen to this album should be chemically castrated. 020
Reposted by Christian AlsisDan Clyne @danclyne.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Mancow has been cast as Wolverine and Dr Octopus in the next Wolverine vs Dr Octopus film 151
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 13/08/2026The buying Hokas to walking like Herman Munster pipeline 010
Reposted by Christian Alsisjoe bell @jbellzer.bsky.social · 11/08/2026wow im getting word that this is actually really good and funnyyoutube.comBigg County Restorations (Pilot)YouTube video by SCROTEVIDEO 0159
Reposted by Christian AlsisMike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · 12/08/2026So like a pimp, I'm pimpin' I got a boat to eat shrimp in Nothing wrong with my leg, I'm just 2396
Reposted by Christian AlsisJeff @gojeffgo.com · 10/08/2026If I ever collect all the M. Night Shyamalan DVDs I won't tell people but there will be Signs. 1231
Christian Alsis @christianalsis.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Nothing can prepare you for the hard questions your children will ask you. For example, I was just asked “Is Ken Bone married?” 040
Reposted by Christian AlsisMel Stefaniuk @melstefaniuk.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Two of the funniest concepts for diss tracks of all time: “Hey Fuck You”: dissing someone by just repeatedly saying “hey…fuck you” “Crawlspace”: dissing someone by telling them you’re scurrying around in their crawlspace and spying on them. 111
