Reposted by BrandonJP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 09/06/2026the phrase "lipstick on a pig" has always inspired a deep sadness in me. I think of the pig, looking forward to her big night out, and I bring myself to the verge of tears. 9695041394
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 06/04/2026Still almost 4 hours left for an Easter miracle 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 31/03/2026The Archduke of Austria-Hungary accidentally turns down the wrong street——- Gas prices went up 30% 020
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 28/02/2026I’m giving up Grateful Dead for lent. What should I listen to on Fridays? 100
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 20/02/2026Good breweries closing while Lord Hobo is still open seems unfair. 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 07/02/2026Spoiler for The Northman (2022) I finally saw it last night. Sometimes I would take the fight to the death in a volcano over watching my twins too. 100
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 24/01/2026Stay safe during the storm. We don’t need anymore Scorpios. 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 24/01/2026Why is it always Big Mike’s BBQ and never Big Michelle’s BBQ? 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 21/01/2026Has anyone found out if any members of Migos are Lovecraft fans? 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 16/01/2026Does anyone remember those shoes with the little compartment for jerky? 000
Reposted by BrandonToussaint Egan @thesaintoftous.bsky.social · 09/01/2026I saw this video of a Vietnam vet in the fur coat yelling at ICE and thought to myself, "this is missing something," before I realized, "Ah, of course, the Ether instrumental. It's so obvious." 1190852734
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 10/12/2025Everybody wants to be a graphic designer now huh? 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 06/12/2025I’ve seen the 9-9-9 challenge but has anyone done the 10-10-10 challenge while bowling? 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 06/12/2025Went to make some hot cocoa and the packets expired before I moved here. Why did I pack expired cocoa? 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 05/12/2025Whenever a song samples Genius of Love by Tom Tom Club I wish I was listening to Genius of Love by Tom Tom Club instead. 000
Reposted by BrandonAaron Stewart-Ahn @badideas.bsky.social · 16/10/2025Hell yeah she used Bene Gesserit voice on him 3618
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Call us Cedric and Omar because we are at the drive in. 110
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 18/07/2025Why is steak the only meat that gets its own house? Why not a pork house or chicken house? 110
Reposted by BrandonGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 18/07/2025the kiss cam at the Coldplay concert lands on me and I'm just absolutely housing a giant Italian sub sandwich 242007240
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 23/06/2025Thinking about becoming a weeb but for the Czech Republic. 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 22/06/2025I saw Monstro Elisasue at the beach yesterday. Stars are just like us. 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 20/06/2025My six year old got his girlfriend’s phone number on the last day of school. Beat me by like a decade. 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 19/06/2025Finally did my taxesmedia.tenor.coma pink cartoon character is sitting on the ground with its mouth open and making a funny face .ALT: a pink cartoon character is sitting on the ground with its mouth open and making a funny face . 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 12/06/2025Kinda weird that there is a good Wonder Woman with all correct opinions and then a Bizarro one. 040
Reposted by BrandonNaraka Final Ghoul @eris.anarchogoth.rip · 11/06/2025lana del rey lyric leak 24010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 07/06/2025Buying a goldfish at the pet store: paper or plastic? 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 07/06/2025Thinking about this picture lately for some reason 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 07/06/2025Showing up to dive bars in a full Scuba suit and acting confused. 010
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 07/06/2025I need someone to pay for me to study sword smithing under Antonio Arellano Pulgar, the last master swordsmith in Spain. 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 04/06/2025Asked my boss if we could have recess outside today. 010
Reposted by Brandoneli yudin @eliyudin.com · 02/06/2025Me walking out of the bus on MTV’s Next 111545137
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 30/05/2025The existence of Harambe also implies a Halalbe. 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 29/05/2025Imagine you show up at the jousting tournament and check who you are going up against and his name is Lance A Lot. That’s like a boxer being named Punch A Bunch. 000
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 24/05/2025Make sure you know what kind of dad you have. 010
Reposted by BrandonJames @james.tarnation.lol · 22/05/2025hugh laurie is british for “big truck” 433213619
Reposted by BrandonOregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 21/05/2025I got a vasectomy because I didn’t want to have kids Didn’t work though, they were still there when I got home from the procedure 52101077
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 21/05/2025Same thing happened to me when I went to the liquor store. 110
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 19/05/2025What length inseam should I do on these cut off jorts I’m making? 000
Reposted by BrandonJonathan Slater @jonathanslater.bsky.social · 18/05/2025Sometimes get your dog a puppy it ends up being the best thing you could do 1262817324
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 14/05/2025The ice cream truck should have beef jerky or something for dads 100
Reposted by Brandonalexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 13/05/2025eric clapton??? more like, eric crap-ton (of problematic behavior) 6578
Brandon @brandonchristensen.bsky.social · 09/05/2025Wait do they actually elect @driftglass.bsky.social as the new Pope? 000