Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 30/08/2026Heard a cat screaming this morning and saw this guy stuck on the neighbor’s roof. Got him down and found his owner (different neighbor). Bonus pic of my cat worrying that she was going to get a new roommate. 0261
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 31/07/2026“We go to Marks and Spencer to feel safe . . .” “I was so discombobulated by the knicker . . .” I don’t think you need to get your panties in a bunch over this 3213
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Career counselor: what are you passionate about? A: Liquids Career counselor: do you think maybe you should narrow that down a little? A: No. 2275
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 21/06/2026What does it mean when a stag visits you on the summer solstice? 7728
Reposted by BethJohn @johncnj.bsky.social · 01/06/2026I fear I’ve misinterpreted this, but does this mean it’s ok to jerk off at an aviary? 3217
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 13/05/2026Confession: when a song says “pop that pussy” I don’t know what that means. Is it supposed to make a popping sound? Mine doesn’t do that 5322
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 22/04/2026Therapist: Wax museum Trent Reznor isn’t real. Wax museum Trent Reznor can’t hurt you. Wax museum Trent Reznor: 98013
Reposted by Bethoctember 🎃🔥 @woketopus.northsky.social · 06/04/2026goo goo goo goo goo goo *pounding table* GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO 0142
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 30/03/2026Stonemason: what do you think? Customer: it’s a . . . ? Stonemason: a monkey, yeah Customer: and it’s . . . devouring an iguana? Stonemason: rescuing a human infant from a castle fire Customer: ok 4406
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 01/01/2026Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your cheatballs. 510423
Reposted by BethPeter Griesar @griesar.bsky.social · 30/12/2025The mortician could do the funniest thing 017633
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 28/12/2025I’m at the gym I’m at the horse race I’m at the combination gym and horse race 0391
Reposted by BethFrovo @frovo.bsky.social · 27/12/2025ME: it’s boxing day SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT: oh shit oh fuck 7732191
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 27/12/2025Repeating “Demo Ootbi: the Best Storage for Veeam” over and over again like a mantra 6238
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 18/12/2025I suppose this is a step up from the hot singles in your area ads 🫏 3333
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 13/12/2025Could I have the gloup zero, please? I’m watching what I eat. 2336
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 13/12/2025She’s green for an amazing reason* 🧟♀️ *weird bathroom lighting 7500
Reposted by Bethalexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 11/12/2025GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son 332320388
Reposted by BethZach D Roberts @zdroberts.bsky.social · 01/12/2025Ok, hear me out… use these whistles at ICE protests. 3245
Reposted by BethAcerbic Otter, but SPOOOOOOOOOKY @acerbicotter.bsky.social · 28/11/2025Her whistle brings all the hogs to the yard And they’re like, ya got any slop? Damn right, we want to eat slop… 061
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 28/11/2025Acquiring the whistle that makes 30-50 feral hogs run into my yard within 3-5 minutes 5628
Beth @bethh.bsky.social · 31/10/2025You: so you don’t have a costume? Me: wrong. Murder raccoon. 5691
