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bert

@bertmcgirt.bsky.social
85 followers 280 following 70 posts

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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
The truth is I’m sometimes laughing more at an all caps LOL than I ever have with an lmfao
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 18/05/2025
The music of Seinfeld, divorced from the show itself, is nothing short of disgusting. Imagine if the show didn’t exist but the music somehow did. Hearing it, your face would twist in angry revulsion
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greg2hats @cyberbadboy.com · 06/06/2025
7 year old giggling: when goku, gets super hungry, he eats like 30 meals in a row Me sounding exactly like Jesse Gemstone: I know how much goku eats
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
The Scott Jennings crash out is great but dont sleep on Tim Pool losing his fucking mind over Animal Farm
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 01/05/2026
Cucumbers belong in everything
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Niko Stratis @nikostratis.com · 29/04/2026
I think the only way we get through the oops-all-AI era is making more things that are kind of shitty in a really good kind of way
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
I'm crying, this is so funny, he has absolutely no idea.
Alex Jones posting Tim's fake mugshot.
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Claire Hummel 🔜 Lightbox Expo @shoomlah.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Made a fake Decker vs. Dracula VHS cover to bring to the @oncinema.bsky.social show this week! Started as a goofy little screenshot paintover and then I got VERY carried away:
Decker vs. Dracula VHS cover, featuring an illustration of Gregg carrying a crucifix and a candelabra in a castle. Dracula’s portrait looms in the background.

1OTH ANNIVERSARY VFA COLLECTION
GREGG TURKINGTON PRESENTS:
Decker vs. Dracula
He could crack any code... time to crack open the casket.
STARRING: GREGG TURKINGTON
JAMES DEAN  JOE ESTEVEZ TIM HEIDECKER MARC PROKSCHVHS clamshell front coverVHS clamshell, back cover, featuring screenshots from the movie

Decker vs. Dracula
Despite its controversial production, DECKER VS. DRACULA remains a universally acclaimed classic ten years later. This 10th Anniversary Edition has been newly restored by the experts at the Victorville Film Archive, and is brought to your home theatre using state-of-the-art, industry standard VHS technology.

Featuring an All-Star cast, including James Dean (East of Eden, 3rd Annual On Cinema Oscar Special), Gregg Turkington (Deck of Cards, Ant-Men 1 & 2), Joe Estevez
(Werewolf), Tim Heidecker (The Fantastic Four, Decker: Classified, Decker: Port of Call Hawail, Decker: Unclassified, Decker: Unsealed, Decker: Mindwipe), and Marc Proksch (celebrity impressionist), DECKER VS. DRACULA is a timeless masterpiece where horror meets action in a blood-curdling VFX showcase.

Follow along as Special Agent Jonathan
Kington thwarts Dracula's plan to destroy the world, alongside his colleagues Special Agent Jack Decker & President Jason Davidson.

2015, 52 minutes, Hi-Fi Stereo, Unrated

SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Theatrical Trailer
• The "Lost Episodes"
• Never before seen Behind-The-Scenes footage
• Director's commentary from VFA Movie
Buff Gregg Turkington

[credits block and FBI warning]
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Learned about this vile little emoji today due to unfortunate circumstances: 🦟
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
20+ hours into On Cinema and I’m finally starting the trial ☺️
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
None of my fav bands or comics come to Texas anymore 😩 @jamestalarico.bsky.social do something about this!
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Tim Heidecker @timheidecker.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
new trump truth: listen you shit for brains, fucking cock suckers, this is your final warning, i'm not fucking around, you think i am, wrong again, Iran - I hereby give you another 72 hours to todally surender or I will make your life's a living hell, do you get me? F U!
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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Grain alcohol
IT. Tasting Table
McDonald's Filet-O-Fish
Tastes 10X Better When You Add This Popular Breakfast
Menu Item
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Odd Steam Reviews @oddsteamreviews.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Elden Ring Nightreign: The Forsaken Hollows
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
“The Moon” was a film from the seventies, directed by Stanley Kubrick
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Why didn’t anyone tell me that Grandma’s Boy became a hilarious MAGA guy
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
I’ve been. Hacked by Iran and all my embarrassing photos have come to light
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
No more John Barleycorn. I’m a friend of Bill now.
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
back spasms are kind of cute bc they’re trying to protect me 🥰 like a very stupid dog that gets scared and sometimes bite u
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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
in case you've never seen it, this is Roger Ebert on The Mummy
There is within me an unslaked hunger for preposterous adventure movies. I resist the bad ones, but when a "Congo" or an
"Anaconda" comes along, my heart leaps up and I cave in. "The Mummy" is a movie like that. There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased. There is a little immaturity stuck away in the crannies of even the most judicious of us, and we should treasure it.
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
I just started watching The X-Files for no reason and this show rules. What the heck
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
‘What if 1984 sucked ass’
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Athens Grease @athensgrease.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
fuck, I’m sorry, I can’t compete with this
An ad on the side of a truck advertising “man cereal,” with the slogan CEREAL GOT ITS BALLS BACK
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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
one reason we don’t need more data centers is we have a whole lot of data and most of it is just not good. increasing the available data will only make the situation worse
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kylie b @roguesquirrel.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young
jenna maroney
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Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
to be human is to suck shit at art for at least a little while
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.
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On Cinema at the Cinema @oncinema.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
All hail the King.
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"Scream Man" Cam @malaiseforever.bsky.social · 05/02/2026
A classic tweet from @kennykeil
[Bluto subtweeting after getting his ass whooped]
I don't know who needs to hear this but spinach isn't a personality
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
reconsidering now that they got BRANT GILBERT
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7f9...
youtube.com
He Was a Guitar Player and Now Plays Machinegun in Vietnam
YouTube video by Release - Topic
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Watching a lot of @timheidecker.bsky.social and it’s helping
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Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
The movie Zoolander is older than the department of immigrations and customs enforcement
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
I will ONLY watch football games where the Army plays the Navy and whoever loses I will NO LONGER support as a troop provider
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
Honey roasted cashew - perfect snack?
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
Ate some soap
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Taylor Lorenz @taylorlorenz.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
This anthropomorphized framing of Grok in the media (claiming that Grok has "apologized") only serves the interests of these tech companies. It gives the appearance that some entity has taken responsibility for what is happening, when in reality no one has.
usermag.co
Is anyone going to take accountability for this?
+ Bo Zangeles, Terrorgram, friction-maxxing, Chinese peptides, a political influencer reality show, Tinder 4 Nazis, Trisha Paytas congressional run, the addictive world of livestream fashion auctions
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Got into two of the most serious & consequential conversations I’ve ever had in my life in the same week I changed my avatar to a guys head coming out of a butt
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Paul Scheer @paulscheer.com · 28/12/2025
I need follow-ups to Christmas movies showing the reality a year later. Jack Frost paying taxes with no SSN. The family with 12 puppies who can’t afford vet bills. The woman who inherited a Christmas tree farm learning about property taxes. Where are THESE movies, Hallmark?
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tinybaby @tiny.baby · 26/12/2025
i think if a director wants to make a movie longer than 120 min they should have to get permission via national referendum
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
the lying lies & dirty secrets of miss Erika Kirk
youtube.com
The Lying Lies & Dirty Secrets of Miss Erica Court
YouTube video by Coheed And Cambria - Topic
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
aside from the completely fucked vibes erika kirk doesn't always really speak clearly, or finish her sentences. baffling they would make her the face of anything even outside of the very strange context!
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bert @bertmcgirt.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
if it happened ten years later we could have had right wing Kramer. just full on Jim Bruer mode fUCK
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