The Onion @theonion.com · 14/09/2026NFL Announces One Player On Each Team Now Gets To Drive A Car theonion.com/nfl-announces-one-play…7:00 PM · Sep 14, 2026 27100987
theunorthodox.bsky.social @theunorthodox.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comWhat is this Pro Thunderball 050
Natanael, Tech janitor @natanael.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comMake it a bumper car 070
The Jobberwock @thejobberwock.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comhmph, it used to be a team had to bribe the judge to not get carded for using a vehicle on the field 000
Roger The Shrubber @rogrtheshrubber.shrubberies.org · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comI used to say the NFL should allow each team a sniper. One bullet per half. Shooting an official would result in a penalty. I think it could really cut down on those 95-yard pass plays and kick returns. 110
ℳatt @matttomic.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comvery on-brand that the Bears could have any vehicle on their team from a Hummer to a Ferrari but they decided to sign a 15-year-old Toyota Corolla 1170
SoCalDayve @socaldayve.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comOne step closer to IRL Rocket League.static.klipy.comRocket League: Epic Knuckle Goal Scored!ALT: Rocket League: Epic Knuckle Goal Scored! 020
Max Paolucci @maxpaolucci.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comThis was an old UCB bit 130
Chaireth, but if she were a Leinth @catsharkchaireth.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.com 0140
Joe R @gothanfc.com · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comshoutout famed field vehicle driver marshawn lynch 050
miss crepis (mother 3 edition) @misscrepis.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comokay but this would make me watch 010
Arman @armannobari.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.com@agibson.bsky.social this feels like it'll have major implications in your fantasy leagues 000
*puts on flower crown, falls into a faerie circle* @klezmerstyle.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.com*freeze frame* welp looks like them Duke boys is at it again 030
POWERFUL CRAB FART🦀 @powerful.crabf.art · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comToyotathon going off this year 080
Chopchop @chopchopok.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comHow come no sports game has ever had this as a feature 000
EidMar @eidmar.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comGoal line standstatic.klipy.comDemolition Derby: Slam Slammer Car CrashesALT: Demolition Derby: Slam Slammer Car Crashes 020
That Worldly Guy @dullcomp.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comEast Conference Carmageddon, all the way! 000
A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall @rollingnscratching.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comOh... I've got a parlay with jalen hurts in a chevy monte carlo! 000
Schmidt @nickyclamps.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comChiefs nominate Rashee Rice 000
That's not what I meant! @notwhatimeant.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comYeah, yeah. Let us know when baseball adopts land mines. 000
That's not what I meant! @notwhatimeant.bsky.social · 14/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comI see an opening for women players. 000
Noobsbt @noobsbt.bsky.social · 15/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comA Camry, how sensible of the NFL 000
dyatesswfl.bsky.social @dyatesswfl.bsky.social · 15/09/2026↪ Replying to @theonion.comWho gets to drive the white van? It's always a white van... 100
