Reposted by L ZThe Onion @theonion.com · 05/09/2026Man Wakes From Coma With Ability To Understand Health Insurance Policy theonion.com/man-wakes-from-coma-wi… 292101206
Reposted by L ZLuke BOO 👻 ber @coolhand.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Legendtheguardian.comDolly Parton turned down presidential medal of freedom twice from TrumpSinger says she’s not sure she’ll accept it from Biden either because it might seem political to do so 172789471
Reposted by L ZMisanthropoltergeist @misanthropolack.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Like…come the fuck on. 021
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 09/04/2026BF: “Your cousin, your sister, and you sound like this asshole bird when you laugh!” He is not wrong. That is a Zeis ass cackle if I ever heard one. 000
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Have any of y’all been contacted by anyone on LinkedIn wanting an “improv actor” for AI? I recognize that not many of my UCB pals from back in the day follow me on here, but I generally feel AI is likely evil and also seems like the opposite of what makes improv magical, probably? 020
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 17/02/2026“Happy Figure Skating games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!” 1115
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 13/02/2026I love the vibes of each of these performances. This one is giving “gay Vecna” and now I want a true, committed Vecna routine. 100
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 03/01/2026For the last 14 years, I’ve only had one New Year’s resolution; learn to juggle. I figure if I do that, then we can tackle more important things. 000
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 15/07/2025Do you ever think, if you have a birthmark removed, you’d miss it? I have thought this about every mole on my body. Ones I don’t even k ow are there. I can’t even see them. WHAT IF I MISS THEM 🎶 020
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 10/06/2025Was ringing out a customer and overheard “well, the early bird gets the worm, but the early worm DIES!” I will use this to defend being late forever now. Time is a flat circle. 110
Reposted by L Zslacey AKA Ted Slaines @shortking.boston · 05/11/2024this is disgusting have some dignity eat handfuls of shredded cheese over the sink 0164
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 16/10/2024Is there a support group for people that dog sit and then aren’t allowed to keep the dogs? 000
Reposted by L ZInnsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 29/06/2024Werner Herzog directing a Maybelline ad: Perhaps she is born with it. What a frightful notion, to be imbued with the fetters of capitalist commodification from birth. It suggests God Himself is a part of our dreadful pattern instead of a refuge from it. 2736791087
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 25/06/2024“Can you take this picture of me accepting the inevitability of death, please?” #corpsing 010
Reposted by L Zsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 25/06/2024“Here’s looking at you, Jesus” I say, as I turn wine into urine 511748
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 14/06/2024Imagine that you’re Mary, having just given birth to Jesus IN SOME STABLE. Vagina: destroyed. The baby is finally sleeping and some little twerp shows up and starts DRUMMING with full on “check me out I’m a drummer” attitude. Just saying. Little drummer boy is kind of a menace. 010
Reposted by L ZRosemary Mosco @rosemarymosco.com · 01/05/2024Real and implied species. Support my Patreon for extra content: www.patreon.com/birdandmoon 382822908
Reposted by L ZUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 02/05/2024gonna be sporting and give tim a five minute head start 632109461
L Z @zeistea.bsky.social · 06/01/2024Are people allowed to casually transfer over their funny tweets from “x?” Cause I know. They’re old. But I used to be funny. And what if that goes away? 120
