old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 07/04/2026we should send all the zionists to tel aviv in a big box the way garfield sends nermal to abu dhabi 061
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 30/03/2026one time when i was like 16 or 17 my dad and i were driving somewhere having a full on conversation when Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ came on the radio and he stopped mid-sentence said “oh shit, pony” turned it up as loud as possible and didn’t talk again til it was over. i think about it all the time 072
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 30/03/2026just found out my uncle died from autoerotic asphyxiation. i don’t know how many times i told him to keep the garage door open when he’s fucking his car 0142
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 22/03/2026i work construction and i’m outside all winter so i wear those carhartt overalls when it’s particularly cold out but i call them my “jammies” and this one kid on my crew hates it so much he gets 𝘴𝘰 mad it’s hilarious 2646
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 09/02/2026you know we’re in a dark place in this country bc 20 years ago the fakes and snakes would’ve never treated mr. worldwide mr. 305 the way they’re doing benito 071
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 03/02/2026my cat got jealous of me using the lint roller and started yelling at me so i had to explain to her that’s she’s basically all lint and she’d have a much different experience 18911
Reposted by old tomYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 02/02/2026please👏do👏not👏wear👏a👏hoodie👏if👏you👏aren't👏committed👏to👏making👏the👏hoodie👏strings👏the👏same👏length👏 3448458
Reposted by old tomIlhan Omar @ilhanmn.bsky.social · 25/01/2026Voting NO on the DHS funding bill is the bare minimum. Backing Kristi Noem’s impeachment is the bare minimum. Holding law-breaking ICE agents legally accountable is the bare minimum. ICE is beyond reform. Abolish it. 7154142610607
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 25/01/2026the videos of those people being murdered by ICE in Minnesota are very clear from at least three angles each and if you say anything to the contrary in support of the state-sanctioned death squad you’re being purposely obtuse and you’re really weird and cowardly no matter your reasons 0221
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 22/01/2026[hanging out the passenger side of my best friend’s ride] what did you just call me?? 1111
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 19/01/2026you weirdos were all about 2a and “don’t tread on me” and all that until those who are 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 oppressed started arming themselves against 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 tyranny and now you’re snitching and bitching and tonguing the boot on your neck like the little sycophants you are 2155
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 18/01/2026they’re braising me in a large dutch oven tomorrow with onions, carrots, celery, some red wine, beef broth and a bay leaf for several hours at 250° 1131
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 17/01/2026yes i am a white MALE yes i am raising four DURABLE conservative BOYS to become MEN no i don't HUG them EVER my masculinity is THAT fragile yes i love ROCK n roll yes i live in a storage unit off route 22 i made some bad INVESTMENTS in a FAILED soft drink company 14512
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 14/01/2026take me down to the suck me off city, where the ladies suck me off and also it’s a city. suck… me… off… 270
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 13/01/2026rest in piss you won’t be missed scott adams get fucked forever buddy you died on your knees begging for help from the ruling class with their boot in your mouth 0111
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 13/01/2026JD Vance’s mother took a vicodin for a headache once and the butterfly effect has led us here 050
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 11/01/2026they can’t hide bryce dallas howard’s big fat ass from me no matter how hard they try. i will find it 092
Reposted by old tomSweatpants Cher @housefeminist.bsky.social · 17/08/2025she was right about everything 229774
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 10/01/2026my brother went to high school with jonathan ross and said he was the kid that would pull his pants and underwear all the way down to his ankles and hold his shirt up past his nipples at the urinal 061
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 09/01/2026gender-swapped lyric in the david byrne cover of drivers license. sorry baby if you’re singing o-rod you gotta be gay for 3 minutes and 25 seconds no excuses 061
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 07/01/2026cringe to call something “orwellian” anymore bc the world’s corniest co-opted it and used it incorrectly til it lost all meaning but watching something very clearly happen with your own eyes then having the government tell you it didn’t is just about as 1984 as it gets 2325
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 02/12/2025if the ladies really don’t like the term “flat doggy” maybe we can change it to spatchcock. it’s already got a dirty word in it and everything 181
Reposted by old tomTruckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 09/05/2025Calling in to work over encumbered 8539109
Reposted by old tomJanice Films 2.0 @snephernie.bsky.social · 22/11/2025it never even went viral or anything but I once saw someone in the replies of a tweet say that aimee terese “looks like a shriek from a dry well” and not a day has gone by without me thinking about it 041
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 28/11/2025just won the annual freestyle battle for DILFs and DILF-adjacent men by rhyming "wake up aching" with "take up baking" and they banned my opponent from the hardware store for a year 0205
Reposted by old tomWe're just normal men @wejustinnocentmen.bsky.social · 25/11/2025We’re just normal men 131497519
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 21/11/2025they keep strapping me to the apparatus at work no matter how much i kick and scratch 2112
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 14/11/2025it’s about to be 2026 i think it’s high time we finally remove the stigma from cutting your life into pieces. especially if it’s your last resort 0214
Reposted by old tomMichael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 14/11/2025You can always design a chandelier in your mind when confronted with a blabbermouth or a bloviator. Like, that’s available to you. 57611
Reposted by old tomTamper Proof Lid @readuction.bsky.social · 13/11/2025Babe did you want health insurance this year or are we good 210614
Reposted by old tomBoo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 13/11/2025I thought the Epstein emails would be difficult to read for a different reason 0256
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 07/10/2025just saw pics of a man getting married in one of those peaky blinders ass caps. like he was in front of the priest with that shit on vowing 1232
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 07/10/2025website i’ve never been to ever in my life: you’ve read your last free article you piece of shit. you abomination. we should just give you this recipe for free? for NOTHING? get real scumbag. already a member? log in :) 0283
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 24/09/2025“i’ve never seen autism in anyone under 70 years old” well whenever my grandmother has to go to a new place she prints out directions and drives there a day in advance just to make sure she “knows how to do it” so jot that down 5836
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 21/09/2025texting every hot girl in my phone “of course. anything for you. love you” quickly followed by “whoops sorry that was for my mom 🫣” 0110
Reposted by old tomCohen is a Ghost @skullmandible.bsky.social · 16/09/2025you got understand, CK was a moneymaking operation for republicans and in lieu of him being able to do that they are going to put his name on everything. when you point out that he sucked shit you really threaten their brand. that's really what this is all about 5752118
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 16/08/2025i wonder how many HVAC guys get Cask of Amontillado’d every year. just seems like you’re kinda asking for it frequenting strangers’ attics and basements all the time. i’ll bet it’s not zero 38310
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 08/08/2025taco bell and chipotle don’t wound me tummologically bc i approach them both courageously with a warrior’s spirit and an intestinal fortitude and presence of self not seen since alexander the great 2142
Reposted by old tomBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 06/08/2025AI filmmaking is peeing. It’s pooping. It’s throwing up. It’s a new kind of liquid coming out. It’s hated by the establishment. It’s what goes in the toilet. It’s wet. It’s what’s in the bathroom. 578147922418
old tom @yuckytom.bsky.social · 02/08/2025when we were 18 my friend and i went to our first strip club at like noon and there were only two dancers there and we befriended one with a super thick accent who made me guess where she was from and i said 'russia' and she said 'yis! the land of snow and bears how u know this' 0285
