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Fran

@whingewhingewine.co.uk
3K followers 481 following 3.5K posts

Escaped from The Bad Place with a Labrador and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk From the 96% of the world that isn't the USA.

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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 27/09/2026
But why are they always so thick?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 26/09/2026
Does anyone else remember mudshakes? Basically alcoholic Nesquik in a little alcopop bottle? Why oh why were we drinking those on a night out 🤢
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 26/09/2026
One of my favourite current genres of social media post is Pokémon card scalpers complaining that Pokémon are making more cards so that kids can actually buy them at cost price, and making out like this is a threat to their livelihood, like ripping kids off is a decent upstanding thing to do.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 25/09/2026
I forgot this app existed if I'm honest. Sorry fam. Been busy.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/09/2026
A new blog post! One thousand words on why I hate Nigel Farage, and ten things that are more trustworthy that that odious, frog-faced scrote. Enjoy x www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/nigel-farage...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
Ten things more trustworthy than Nigel F*cking Farage
With Reform's popularity at the polls taking a dive, I thought I'd share my thoughts on Nigel Farage. They aren't particularly kind thoughts.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 25/06/2026
A new blog post... The one where I went for an eye test & ended up with a hearing aid www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/hearing-aids...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
The one where I went for an eye test & ended up with a hearing aid
My unexpected journey to getting a hearing aid in my forties, from a free hearing test to the NHS, hospital appointments and accepting help.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 14/06/2026
Well APPARENTLY they only do cars and also I'm banned for life
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 27/05/2026
I went to Slam Dunk festival and was delighted to see that everyone got old, it isn't just me. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/punk-isnt-de...
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Punk isn't dead, it's just middle-aged and likes a sit down
Once upon a time, festivals were lawless cities populated entirely by sunburnt teenagers drinking warm cider from a shoe - times have changed
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 30/04/2026
In the past two months I have: *Needed glasses again after 18 years *Discovered I’m basically deaf in one ear *Been regularly given a sleep score of 65 by a watch that clearly hates me *Developed a neck and knee who are cranky as hell Isn't ageing fun?! www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/ageing-sudde...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
I have aged 50 years in two months, and I do not care for it
I have aged approximately fifty years in the last two or three months, and I can't say that it fills me with a sense of joy
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 25/03/2026
Two men at work today commented that I looked like I'd had lost weight (I haven't, I was just wearing a belt). I replied telling them I had an illness. Don't comment on people's weight, would be my advice 😂
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Michelle says: Be kind. Always. ❤️ @snarkysillysad.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Kevin the dog picking out a toy: #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected...
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/03/2026
Cadbury's Creme Eggs are shit, aren't they Ted
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/03/2026
Do I?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 17/03/2026
No, you have too many plants
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 17/03/2026
It's really hard to get all my thoughts in order but I tried it in exactly 1500 words - my take on The Manosphere www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/louis-therou...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
I watched Louis Theroux: The Manosphere so you don’t have to (But you still should)
I watched Louis Theroux: The Manosphere - Follow his journey into the world of masculinity influencers and misogyny
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 02/02/2026
That month absolutely flew by... Here's what I've been doing with myself www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/january-2026...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
January 2026: New year, same old me I'm afraid
January 2026 - a new year, but the same old me I'm afraid. Lots of reading, a trip to Marrakech and indoor skydiving
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 20/01/2026
I got a whole pamphlet of instructions for my new bin yesterday. It was the first thing to go inside it. I know how to work a fucking bin.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 19/01/2026
How are your New Year’s resolutions going? Genuine question. We’re over halfway through January now, so this feels like a safe point to check in. I didn't make any this year, and here is why. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/new-years-re...
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The New Years resolutions I didn't make for 2026
The New Year's resolutions that I didn't make in 2026 - I don't want to be better, or do better, I just want to keep on keeping on
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 19/01/2026
Date's gone well, you go back to his and find this... Wyd?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 18/01/2026
NOT A SINGLE LEMON FLAVOUR. Are you taking the actual piss? #fummin
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 18/01/2026
On my first date with my boyfriend a year ago, he told me after a few beers that he really liked women's tummies and laughter lines. Fat and wrinkly. Smooth boy. Quite frankly, it's amazing I took him home.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 17/01/2026
Good morning. I slept 9.5 hours, waking up once for a wee at 5.30 and going back to sleep. I got a sleep score of 73. Garmin - and perimenopause - can kiss my arse.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 16/01/2026
Found this beautiful shirt in the charity shop today. The out of focus AI slop print is exactly what you need to go painting roundabouts!
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 16/01/2026
A year ago tomorrow I went on a quick first date at a Costa coffee. On the way there, a male labrador pissed on my leg. I had to run home to get changed and then peg it there, where I met someone very special who makes me very happy. Thanks to that dog for giving me a good story to tell him.
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Reposted by Fran
Matt Massarella-Gill @3788mg.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Heard a lad earlier talking about ‘Belgian whistles’ “A basic website costs 10k or 25k upwards if you want all the Belgian whistles” BELGIAN WHISTLES
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Steve Williams @skillagesteve.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
The interview with Legend in the Radio Times is absolutely brilliant
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 13/01/2026
Behold: A write up of my weekend in Marrakech. It's basically the equivalent of sitting through your neighbour's holiday slideshow, I guess. But if you're ever thinking of visiting, it may or may not be handy. And if you're nosy/bored, then why not?! www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/long-weekend...
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How to spend a long weekend in Marrakech, Morocco
How to spend a long weekend in Marrakech, Morocco? If you're thinking of a slightly different city break out of Europe, consider Marrakech!
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 13/01/2026
Useful
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 12/01/2026
I have actually muted the words "I asked Chat GPT" because it drives me fucking insane but I'm nothing if not a hypocrite - in two separate chats I asked it to generate me a boyfriend and my boyfriend a girlfriend. If anyone knows them let me know yeah.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 12/01/2026
Wasn't he in the Monkees?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 10/01/2026
Hello from Morocco!
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 07/01/2026
Why is it when you get past a certain age people can't understand having a romantic partner you don't live with? I always have to explain that my BF and I live in separate houses and don't have any plans to live together and we haven't been together a year yet anyway, and people just can't compute.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 06/01/2026
They were so little! www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/snow-joke-re...
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Snow joke: Seven reasons to love a snow day
We aren't 'good' at snow in the UK. Some schools close, mums on local Facebook groups complain either way, public transport grinds to a halt, roads are too treacherous to navigate and Sainsbury's Loca...
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 05/01/2026
I gave my dog the broccoli stalk last night and her trumps are actually eyewatering today
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 05/01/2026
Last month, in summary: www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/december-202...
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December 2025: In which Fran watches far too many awful Christmas movies
December 2025: It's Christmas! I watch and review FAR too may Christmas films, and am ill for most of the month.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 02/01/2026
Um
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 02/01/2026
My final monthly round up of 2025 - In which Fran is basically ill for three weeks and watches waaaaay too many Christmas films www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/december-202...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
December 2025: In which Fran watches far too many awful Christmas movies
December 2025: It's Christmas! I watch and review FAR too may Christmas films, and am ill for most of the month.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 31/12/2025
What is your resolution for 2026 then?
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Reposted by Fran
Jamie Smart @jamiesmart.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
REMEMBER BINS
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 26/12/2025
Do you remember when people would be up at 6am on Boxing Day for the Next sale? Absolutely batshit.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 25/12/2025
I bought one of my children a slinky so that I could spend Christmas Day untangling a slinky
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 25/12/2025
Day 18! The FINAL DAY. And today, I'm reviewing the fine if you're into that sort of thing 'Love Hard'. And now, I rest. Merry Christmas x www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/love-hard-re...
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Love Hard film review: Flying 3,000 miles to be catfished at Christmas
He loves Love Actually, she loves Die Hard. They meet on an app and she flies out to meet him like a stalker. What could go wrong?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/12/2025
Yes, I had noticed, on account of not being able to watch TV, play music, or turn the lights on. Merry Christmas you useless cunts 🎄
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/12/2025
Still Day 17, but think of this as your Christmas Bonus. A Very British Christmas: Holy Shit, What a Bad Film That Was. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/a-very-briti...
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A Very British Christmas review: I watched it so you don’t have to
A Very British Christmas review: I watched it so you don’t have to. A frankly terrible and very confusing film set in Yorkshire.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 24/12/2025
Day 17! Today is a very low budget retelling of A Christmas Carol - it's A CHRISTMAS KAREN. Not as shit as it looks, I actually laughed out loud. More than once. I may have been drunk, but it still counts. One more day to go, I can taste freedom! www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/a-christmas-...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
A Christmas Karen review: Dickens with an I Want to See the Manager haircut
Charles Dickens but with a 'I Want To Speak To The Manager' haircut - it's a new re-telling of a Christmas Carol with a Karen.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 23/12/2025
Day 16 of Christmas Film reviews - were on the home stretch now lads! This will be my most controversial review I'm sure. What if Santa was in the Marvel universe and had a quarter of a million budget? Something TOO LONG and too sweary. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/red-one-revi...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
Red One review: A Marvel film, but festive
Bored to tears of formulaic, beige Straight-to-Netflix Christmas romcoms, I thought I’d see what else there was on offer for my Christmas film review marathon. One film that was repeatedly recommended...
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 22/12/2025
Day 15 of watching Christmas films until I realise I've done no actual planning for Christmas. And we're back to the Netflix Christmas romcom reviews I'm afraid! I have now watched Meet Me Next Christmas from start to finish, fuelled primarily by wine. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/meet-me-next...
whingewhingewine.co.uk
Meet Me Next Christmas review: The Pentatonix Christmas film with Christina Milian. Really.
Meet Me Next Christmas review: The Pentatonix Christmas film with Christina Milian, who has been single for four days but needs a boyfriend.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 21/12/2025
I just paid five pence for my Christmas veg in Lidl! Potatoes, sprouts, carrots, shallots, parsnips... JUST FIVE PENCE EACH. I paid another 90 quid for the rest of the shit my kids picked up but, come on, you have to be happy with 5p veg! The food waste bin is already excited about the sprouts.
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 21/12/2025
***Day 14 of watching a Christmas film every day until I snap and choose violence*** Violent Night was exactly what I needed after weeks of beige pap. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/violent-nigh...
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Violent Night review: Home Alone, but Santa kills people
The Christmas film Violent Night is what happens when someone asks: what if Santa Claus had absolutely fucking had it?
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Fran @whingewhingewine.co.uk · 20/12/2025
Day 13 of reviewing a Christmas film every day until I am but a husk in a blanket Today, it is the eminently forgettable Vanessa Hudgens film The Knight Before Christmas. At least there's only one of her this time. www.whingewhingewine.co.uk/the-knight-b...
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The Knight Before Christmas review: When the pun comes first and the plot follows
A film which was built around a weak pun. Someone in a Netflix meeting said 'How about The Knight Before Christmas?!' and everyone nodded
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