the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 03/10/2026what is a declaration of independence if not a very particular way to say hey, what’s up, hello 030
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 03/10/2026the break room of the public library i work at. my lunch break lines up with what i expect to be the only time frame during which notre dame-unc will still be “””close”””. 031
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 01/10/2026ready for the world-oh sheila underscores-the peace michel legrand-what are you doing for the rest of your life (but just the melody and not the lyrics because i’ve been listening to lots of instrumental versions of it, mostly bill evans and bobby hutcherson) 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 30/09/2026if we’re talking about best song he wrote? “two occasions” and “rock steady” might be 1 and 2 for me and he knocked those out barely a year apart. absolute menace. 070
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 30/09/2026fuck i didn’t know big mike stuhlbarg was in this. is it too late to change my answer to “reply for big mike stuhlbarg” 011
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 25/09/2026they’re taking the chicken sandwich off the autozone menu as we speak 100
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 25/09/2026congratulations on achieving the highest honor in the field of Wackhumanbeing’s Telephone Studies (entry in the note where i keep random bits of found language to use as trivia team names) 0102
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 24/09/2026time for him to earn the "Iron Chef" nickname 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/09/2026There Are Purdues Everywhere For Those With L’s To Take 001
Reposted by the apple guy™phylan @phylan.website · 24/07/2026we need hostile architecture for the politically homeless 8730102
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 18/09/2026a movie my mother hated so much that it almost killed my parents' budding relationship after ~3 dates 120
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 17/09/2026unfortunately i fear it's a case of "unc head coach dabo swinney" 1330
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 16/09/2026[“virtual insanity” voice] the future’s // made of // hoppy pickle lemonade 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 15/09/2026am i bugging or did i spy gil ozeri alongside ben schwartz? huge if true 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 15/09/2026amazing answer, but considering the speaker i was hoping for "ARBY'S: We Have The Meat Wall" 0130
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 15/09/2026people who are not complicit famously love saying “i am not complicit”. that’s how you can tell they are not complicit. because they tell you. they say “i am not complicit” and it proves they are not complicit. 031
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 12/09/2026could've emulated any of john brown's qualities and they chose "lying a-mouldering in the grave" smh 1191
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 12/09/2026lord help us if a team ever becomes Spellbinding 051
Reposted by the apple guy™Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 11/09/2026whenever someone on here complains that an independent creator is charging for their content i’m like “oh there’s a republican who doesn’t know it yet” 51089116
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 09/09/2026so you finally got tired of people telling you it’s actually The Great Clock Of Westminster and Big Ben is just the name of the bell 020
Reposted by the apple guy™pork, cheese, broccoli rabe @garlicbuffalo.gobirds.biz · 01/09/2025happy labor day 445142132
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 06/09/2026for what it's worth, "anderson" is a documented synonym of green cannon pearmain (per dan bussey's "illustrated history of apples in the united states and canada"). this is definitely a thing i knew beforehand and not a thing i discovered retroactively. 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 06/09/2026unfortunately nobody from the two apple cup rosters made the All-Heirloom Team, although washington punter Hunter Green should perhaps feel aggrieved to miss out 100
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 04/09/2026slapping the sign above my desk that says “work like a chump today” 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 04/09/2026if rax has a million sad boys, then i am one of them. if rax has ten sad boys, then i am one of them. if rax has only one sad boy, it is me. if rax has no sad boys, then that means i am too sad to leave the house. if the world is against rax, then i am against the world, and also crying. 040
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 04/09/2026standing nude screaming in the street is a longstanding pillar of central new jersey culture and i won't have its good name besmirched by association with greg schiano 020
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 03/09/2026apologies if this is ground y'all have already covered but, do you consider every missed kick that hits a bar to be a doink? or is it based on the volume or timbre of the resulting sound? i've always distinguished between "doinks" and "bonks" but i think i'm in the minority on that. 110
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 01/09/2026sorry did you say “zelle me” (because you want money) or “zel me” (because you want pretzels) 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 01/09/2026homefield college baseball x sade collection called “Diamond Life”. i take cash check or electronic transfer. 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 01/09/2026it evolved from rosenthal to frozenthal to freezer. we all know this. 080
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 01/09/2026the exact midpoint between “phantom island do show” and “phantom island don’t show” 020
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 31/08/2026[eating a very specific pepper] he really put his whole jimmy nardussy into this 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Two members of the 2026 All-Heirloom Team are in action on Week Zero: Easton Black (Punter, TCU) and Savion Red (Running Back, Sacramento State) 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Here's a silly little thing I do as a fun exercise at the start of every college football season. Presenting the 2026 All-Heirloom Team. 021
Reposted by the apple guy™victoria zeller🫛 (RISEBALL, summer ‘27) @dirtbagqueer.rocks · 25/08/2026she was 100x braver about this shit in 1985 than country artists are now 175398
Reposted by the apple guy™kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 25/08/2026RIP TO ONE OF THE GREATEST TO EVER DO IT 88204166218
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 20/08/2026granny smith is not actually “a good baking apple”, it is simply the best option for baking in your average US grocery store. 051