the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 25/09/2026congratulations on achieving the highest honor in the field of Wackhumanbeing’s Telephone Studies (entry in the note where i keep random bits of found language to use as trivia team names) 0102
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 24/09/2026time for him to earn the "Iron Chef" nickname 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Here's a silly little thing I do as a fun exercise at the start of every college football season. Presenting the 2026 All-Heirloom Team. 021
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Top Four Loud Bird Noises That Land Like A Trumpet On The Ear From The Yard Of A Wealthy Man (No Debate) 120
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 06/08/2026the owner’s wearing khaki pants and they need piss now 🗣️🎶 call J H Pisspants 📞877-PISS-NOW 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 06/08/2026i think we can all agree it's a very normal point total earned by a very normal team with a very normal formation 040
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 09/07/2026this is what i mean when i say i’m in the pocket of special interest 110
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 25/06/2026heartbreaking news: all of my coworkers have heard me use the joke "[points at the cover of this book] this is what they say when they see me in the streets" and now i need to develop an actual personality 020
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 21/06/2026got a great feeling about tonight’s Balcony Report™️ 130
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 03/06/2026saw john salmons come up and said "this is the run" 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 25/05/2026if you fall asleep during nascar this is the hat man you see 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 24/05/2026been trying to figure out who cole caufield looks like and i finally got it 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 14/05/2026if little joe is 33 this is basically aaron rodgers to the jets 1172
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 02/05/2026["livin on a prayer" voice] woooooah, we're halfway there, WOOOOAH, OH, 020
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/04/2026realized i'd never done an heirloom apple-themed #charitibundibowl donation. the timing works out since they rediscovered one of the most wanted lost varieties a couple weeks ago. and hell, why not throw in Pixelated Spencer™ over a bunch of Spencer Seedless apples @newap-georgia.bsky.social 130
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 20/04/2026donating with hope for a brighter future* while thinking back on better times *offer of "brighter future" not applicable to UNC football @newap-georgia.bsky.social 030
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 18/03/2026new @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social URL just dropped 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 18/02/2026can't help but think this screenshot will come in handy for A Certain Type Of Post in the future 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 18/02/2026i'll level with y'all. whenever i hear "tage thompson", my brain mostly hears this 100
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 31/01/2026for fastest fruit i propose the finger lime, if only because they're so often staged in photographs to look like they're blasting off 072
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/01/2026let the record show that tate is also not beating the “electric karaoke performer” allegations 071
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 11/01/2026happy birthday to @thetate.bsky.social here is a picture of the two of us discussing stuart little 051
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 13/12/2025"order for mike? ...mike? mike macdonald, your order is ready!" 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 12/12/2025despite being the newest full-time librarian on staff my “best of 2025” picks are at the top of the list, which has done wonders for my pro- @raxkingisdead.bsky.social and @dirtbagqueer.rocks agenda. 1343
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/11/2025usually this is the only 6/8 they acknowledge at north texas 0110
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 22/11/2025you're an absolute menace for posting this at the end of my first week as a full-time librarian 140
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 20/11/2025i know a pokémon with the correct color scheme whose name describes the rockies’ performance in most years 020
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 21/10/2025these days most athletes don't even have one good nickname and earl had, at minimum, four or five absolute heaters 000
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 19/09/2025proud to work for a public library that purchased this book on my behalf, and i can’t wait to see it circulate now that i’ve finished it. charming, affecting, honest-to-god funny, and easily the best depiction of group chats i’ve seen in a work of fiction. bravo @dirtbagqueer.rocks 1312
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 29/08/2025here are four extremely normal and reasonable texts i’ve sent about tottenham hotspur football club this week 060
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/08/2025Here's the entire 2025 All-Heirloom Team in one extremely elegant screenshot. Congratulations to this year's honorees. 030
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 23/08/2025I've dabbled with this concept before, mostly going in the opposite direction. For instance, I once created a depth chart of Southern heirloom apple names that sound like college football player names. 272
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 09/07/2025when e-40 farts @joshgondelman.bsky.social 010
the apple guy™ @wackhumanbeing.bsky.social · 27/06/2025modest mussorgsky turning in his composition based on rax's interests 140