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Viktor Winetrout

@viktorwinetrout.bsky.social

45K followers 584 following 8.7K posts

Contributor: @theonion.com @sorrowscopes.bsky.social, @riversidecasino.bsky.social, @greenevillezoo.bsky.social Creator: @sorrowscopes.bsky.social

Posts Replies Media

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"I'm Lord of the Rings, bitch!"

RANDOM LINE FROM A MOVIE THAT FANS INSTANTLY KNOW: "I'm Lord of the Rings, bitch!"

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

tweet by huntigula: kool-aid man sleeps standing up like a horse

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Horoscope from The Onion: You'll be living like a king this after you contract syphilis and marry a relative

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I can't think of anything to post so here's a picture of my friend Russ

adorable man wearing an ugly shirt and sweater lying on the floor in an adorable pose

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Never forget

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Point Guard: Stockton Shooting Guard: Jordan Small Forward: Pippen Power Forward: LeBron Center: Hakeem Unbeatable combination of offense, defense, and unselfishness

Build an NBA all-time team using $12 MAX:

tiers of NBA greats:

$4: MAGIC, MJ, BIRD, DUNCAN, SHAQ
$3: STEPH, KOBE, LEBRON, BARKLEY, HAKEEM
$2: ISAIAH, WADE, DR. J, KARL MALONE, KAREEM
$1: STOCKTON, R. MILLER, PIPPEN, RODMAN, BILL RUSSELL

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Willem Dafoe as Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Keith Carradine is amazing in Deadwood-- wish he was in it longer

picture of Keith Carradine as Wild Bill Hickok in Deadwood on a horse wearing a cowboy hat

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

The Mr. Bean mask stays on during sex

A creepy as hell Mr. Bean mask

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

A horoscope from The Onion:
Virgo: They say that knowing is half the battle, but they never tell you what the other half is, which is really frustrating.

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

soft raisin cookies with no oatmeal

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Using the Now That's What I Call Template: The Cruel Indifference of the Universe in red letters

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

cats wearing sunglasses flying through space on hot dogs

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Wow

@andylevy.net posting a fake screenshot that says "BREAKING: Dan Mentos exposed penis
below it is a reply by @danmentos.com saying "shit! shit!!"

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Man wearing a goat mask dressed in black reading from a book during a Satanic ceremony, with women in black robes and facemasks behind him

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

This changed my life

caption: this changed my life
post: Tom Cruise does his own stunts because he wants to die
reply: decent post

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

Onion Horoscope: "They say when you kill a man, a little piece of you dies, too. But all of the man dies, so it’s still a victory."

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

a beautiful loving orange cat named Coady who is my pal

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 17/06/2026

Smiling Bobby Bacala wearing a train hat

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 07/06/2026

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

An elongated sitting bench with Colonel Sanders head in the middle of it, his arms and feet appearing at end end

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

wtf

A cereal called Machete-Mateys with a guy in a Jason Voorhees mask holding a spoon

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

Please sir, could you spare some trash?

A raccoon on a porch stairway with a pleading expression

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

"This is the clown porn I was telling you about.."

A smiling 70-ish man pointing to his laptop screen while a smiling 70-ish woman looks on, with the caption: "This is the clown porn I was telling you about.."

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

Jonathan Winters wearing a black suit, polka dotted ascot, monocle, and beret, looking confused while holding a cigarette

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

Career goals

Astronaut Leland Melvin in his orange space suit posing with his two rescue dogs, one of which is licking his face

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

weird roman sculpture of a man's head wearing some type of headgear with a look of disbelief in response to emceekayvee's pun

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

"In small packages, sometimes big packages come. I’m saying my dick is big. I have a huge penis, Luke.."

Yoda on Luke Skywalker's back, telling him about his huge penis

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

When your giant insane cat brings you a mouse

RFK Jr. holding a starling in his fist that he plans to dissect after he checks to see if it has a penis to chop off

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

When someone asks a question at the end of a work meeting

erika kirk in a black baseball cap looking crazy/disappointed in you

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

blurry picture of Bigfoot

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

How I arrived on Bluesky:

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

a medieval knight killing himself with a sword after reading travis's joke

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only

Dignan, Anthony, and Bob from Bottle Rocket in matching yellow uniforms

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Are we really still doing this in 2026

Matthew Macfadyen staring at his miniature wife

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

my grandfather holding his walker while doing parkour

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

RIP

dale earnhardt looking like joe walsh

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

The ref needs to stop this fight

@brockm.bsky.social: Any other leftists want to challenge me on this notion that we should welcome Republican defectors? I'm quite hungry to humiliate you, and demonstrate to all the world's wary inhabitants what a worthless troll you are.

‪@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com‬:
hi, sorry, not sure i follow. could you rephrase this but in an even more embarrassing way for an adult to talk

‪@brockm.bsky.social‬: Your stupid little status-dominance game isn't going to work on me.

@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com‬
perfect thanks

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Baseball being played in front of the Great Buddha Dordenma statue in Bhutan

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

BILLY JOEL’S MANAGER: We want it to be sexy. Something that will make women go weak in the knees. RECORD LABEL: How bout a pale disembodied head with dead eyes surrounded by pitch blackness?

a pale disembodied head with dead eyes surrounded by pitch blackness that looks vaguely like billy joel

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

why are they always ripped. i want to see a centaur who's built like a professional bowler

a typically ripped centaur

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 12/03/2026

throwing phone into lake

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

god i wish that were me meme

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

It's discrimination

sign that says: NO HORSES ALLOWED IN BATHROOM

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

OPERATION MY DADDY DIDN'T LOVE ME

The Dept. of War posting: OPERATION EPIC FURY

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

PRINCE PHILIP IN CAR LOOKING DEAD

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

"As you can see, I've taken these 2 photos of guns and pointed them at each other"

a policeman showing two photos of guns, saying: "As you can see, I've taken these 2 pictures of guns and pointed them at each other"

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

Just called my boss to tell him I have explosive diarrhea. It's my day off but I like to keep him informed

Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

Watching the rest of the world's leaders face consequences

a turtle looking out the window with the caption: watching the rest of the world's leaders face consequences