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Funjabi

@twerkvonnegut.bsky.social
402 followers 783 following 671 posts

My pick for dinner with any person from history would be Freddie Mercury to ask about acoustics in the afterlife

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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
This president has TWO toilet paper shortages now. That’s quite a streak!
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
So how’d that Reading to End Racism program work out?
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
This is not so much the product of active positivity as it is extreme restraint around expression of what I’m actually thinking
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
@sentimentbot.bsky.social I also want to play, please
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Joe Kassabian @jkass99.bsky.social · 11/01/2026
One of the most telling ways of how we ended up here is Americans are fine with terror as long as they don't have to make eye contact with it.
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
It is wild that people in the US are just now identifying imperialist motives for foreign intervention as if Steve Miller invented the concept. How do you all think we became 13 whole colonies which have, over time, expanded into 50 states? It’s literally, like, our main thing
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
I am prepared to have long ass conversations with any Coloradoans who use a TANF freeze as an opportunity to talk about TABOR repeal instead of the decades of budgetary mismanagement by our elected officials and cabinet heads
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W.E.D.em Boyz @leftistwonk.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
I really despise the way that nobody can respond to anything without re-litigating the last election cycle. If your first thought when a major global event happens that impacts 10’s of a millions is “heh remember those voters who said…” you have terminal pundit brain. Have some humanity.
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
Some parents want happy kids. Some parents want manageable kids. Some just want their kid to date someone white
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
I’m FREE!!!!!
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🇬🇾🗽Sydette The Dreaded Gorgon🗽🇬🇾 @blackamazon.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
We’re at the point where we have concentration camps and slave patrols and the people with the most safety think a mean joke is the pinnacle of resistance
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Westerners are good at, “Look, here’s what I own,” but are entirely unpracticed at not owning. They’re trained to demonstrate selfhood through possession & are unpracticed in non-ownership. This is the root of the homelessness/billionaire paradox; belonging without owning is illegible in the US
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
I also often heard the saying, in response to nonsense people: ਜੇ ਕੁੱਤੀ ਭੌਂਕਦੀ ਏ, ਤਾਂ ਭੌਂਕਣ ਦੇ।” Literally, this means “If a dog is going to bark, let her keeping barking.” It’s a shorthand reference to a longer story: A traveler passed a house every day where a dog on a chain barked at her as she passed.
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
My grandmother, like so many Punjabi matriarchs, organized the world for me through story. I miss her a lot today and remembered this parable in particular: There was a village where one well fed everyone. The woman who stewarded the land & well did it because it was her role, dharma, & power 🧵
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
God I forgot how much fun life is when I’m with people who read, play music, produce melanin …
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Valid if you never drive & don’t live in a country that produces more than half the world’s carbon emissions. Someone who has proximity to & relationships with firefighters (who have a 15% higher risk of cancer than the rest of us) is gonna joke bc it’s a release valve for doing the hard stuff
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
It was 4 inches of snow. We call it winter around here
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I Scare You Like Sound Dog @chadstanton.blacksky.app · 28/12/2025
That “Ungrateful” train ain’t ever late.
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Lefty Lucy @leftylucy.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
These people will do anything BUT normalize access to transit....
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The Birds The Turtles and The Bees @turtlebee.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
I mean how do you expect to combat male loneliness if you don't let them drive drunk to their ex's house and shout "slut whore bitch" for five hours?
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Sam “The Great Pumpkin” Thielman @samthielman.com · 27/12/2025
As someone who grew up in a town of 600 people in the Appalachians and just returned from a delightful trip there to visit people I love dearly, I think serious discussion about limiting criminal penalties for drunk driving is without exception the province of stupid assholes
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
When I stop fighting & railing & raging & controlling for just one second & ask myself: “If this is the world we live in, how should we be to each other?” I realize the answer to the second half of that question should not be dependent on the first. Care does not need permission from ontology
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Becoming less afraid requires an admission of fear. It’s a bend before breaking kind of situation
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
When my sweet, very old cat cuddles up on me, heart-to-heart like a newborn baby, I think, “I want everything wonderful for you, but you are everything wonderful, and you already have you.” She has no narrative arc, no credit score, nothing, and yet she is unmistakably worthy of care
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Wherever you turn, history is pressing in
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
He’s bagged another one!
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
God: I can't help noticing Jesus has Joseph's nose Mary: [laughs nervously] What a strange coincidence
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Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 26/12/2025
Funny Numbers xkcd.com/3184/
Comic. [Banner: Mathematical Society: 2025 Meeting.] PERSON 1 with bun: Any other new developments from the year to cover before we wrap? PERSON 2: Oh, the teens picked a new funny number. PERSON 3 with short hair: Aww, I’m glad to hear they’re still doing that. PERSON 4 with ponytail: I’ll add it to the list. [List: 23 (skidoo!; 42; 69; 420; 1,337; 58,008; [circled]: 67]
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
If your family & friends feel extra bananas this Christmas, you’re not wrong. Economic precarity, pandemic trauma, erosion of intergenerational containment (adults having to raise themselves), & the spread of therapy language w/o skills (explaining but not changing) produces dysregulated people
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
theonion.com
Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ
READING, PA—Saying the snot-nosed brat sure as hell better not expect any damn frankincense or myrrh, sources confirmed Friday that a bullshit newborn wasn’t even Jesus Christ, the Son of God. “There’...
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
i've been weirdly invested in this dog's sweater alteration IG roodabeguh
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
ਸਚੁ ਉਚਰੈ ਸਭੁ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਆਚਾਰੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਕਹੈ ਸਿਆਣਾ ਕਾਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਸਬਦੁ ਸਚੁ ਮਨਿ ਵਸਾਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਤਾ ਪਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਸਿਖ ਸਚੀ ਲੇਇ ॥ ਦਇਆ ਜਾਣੈ ਜੀਅ ਕੀ ਕਿਛੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦਾਨੁ ਕਰੇਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਤਾ ਪਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਆਤਮ ਤੀਰਥਿ ਕਰੇ ਨਿਵਾਸੁ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਤਾ ਪਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਸਿਖ ਸਚੀ ਲੇਇ ॥ ਸਚੁ ਤਾ ਪਰੁ ਜਾਣੀਐ ਜਾ ਸਚੁ ਕਮਾਵੈ ਸਚੁ ਕਰੇਇ ॥ SGGS pg 62 Guru Nanak
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Belief is not the same as good character. In other words, moral licensing is bad faith
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MonsterKing @cerromerussell.blacksky.app · 24/12/2025
Old people like sneaking you money cause it's huge to them growing up dirt poor. And they never give up on thinking about taking care of you either
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Sobriety can sometimes end chaos, but it cannot end asymmetry of power or care. In other words, sobriety in and of itself is not moral absolution for the alcoholic (and neither are amends.)
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Wait until you find out what this country does to children whose parents don’t make lots of money. Or live in other countries. Or are tiny enough for forced corporate enslavement. It’s like there’s a whole system of exploitation
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
They need to go after those motherfucking squirrels and birds next.
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
I need a gift link. Pleeease! slate.com/advice/2025/...
slate.com
Every Time My Boyfriend Climaxes, I Spend 24-36 Hours Cleaning Up. It’s Driving Me Nuts.
I think he might need to see a doctor.
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I Scare You Like Sound Dog @chadstanton.blacksky.app · 23/12/2025
I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
What survives when meaning fails to arrive on time?
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
The surest way to work up a crusade in favor of some good cause is to promise people they will have a chance of maltreating someone. — Crome Yellow
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
That Pilates magic ring hits hard the day after. I was not prepared for this
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
I added a bunch of songs to my workout playlist after taking an edible the other day. Then I started a workout today, and it is very clearly a playlist made by someone who had no concept of time. At least High Me Believes in Me
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Let me tell you how much I love this iOS call screening update. A little piece of the 90s in mine own pocket
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
I know a lady who has been drinking 3-7 Bud Lights with dinner for 30 years, and if only the spirits would see fit to remove her from this earthly plane with haste
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
This was the beginning of the falling out with my former mother in law in 2016. She now tells people she never voted for him, but I kept receipts for my own sense of sanity
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Funjabi @twerkvonnegut.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Maybe instead of hedging 2020 protests with “well, I believe in what they’re protesting & the right to protest, but I don’t believe in property damage,” more folks needed to… I dunno … participate in any part of the process
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Santa Claus and the grinch have the same donors. Open your eyes
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Betty Reid Soskin, the National Park Service’s oldest ranger, has died. She was 104.
kqed.org
Betty Reid Soskin, Oldest U.S. Park Ranger and Trailblazing Historian, Dies at 104 | KQED
Betty Reid Soskin, the nation’s oldest National Park Service ranger and a pioneering historian at Rosie the Riveter WWII Home Front National Historical Park, devoted her life to preserving Black histo...
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