Sign in

Tortiegeist

@tortiegeist.bsky.social
140 followers 334 following 35 posts
PostsRepliesMedia
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
She's a beauty!
000
Reposted by Tortiegeist
The Blogging Goth @theblogginggoth.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
How I arrived on Bluesky
static.klipy.com
The Sisters Of Mercy Goth Performance
Alt: Clip from the music video to "Walk Away" by The Sisters of Mercy. Andrew Eldritch postures as the rest of the band roll past him on some kind of conveyer belt. My impression was always that Eldritch was going backwards past them but I'm not sure
1506
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Moonlight Shadow, Mike Oldfield
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I started something I couldn't finish, the Smiths
012
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Robert De Niro's Waiting, Bananarama
011
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Ebenezer Goode, the Shamen
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Andrew R @excelpope.net · 16/08/2026
Right, it's 6:30am on a Sunday. The 'merkins should be in bed and the Brits aren't up yet, so here's a short story I had kicking around in my head.
A story title AI-pathy

Write a reply to this email. Be friendly but firm. List the reasons why I disagree. Mention price.
Write a reply. Be firm. List problems.
Write a reply. Be firm.
Write a reply.
Reply to this email.
Reply to my emails.
Reply.
Draft an update of our current project plan for me to review.
Review the draft for me. Highlight any problems.
Suggest solutions to those problems.
Write a better business plan.
Break down the business plan into actionable goals and email them to the appropriate people.
Summarise the replies to the new business plan.
Give me a list of who hasn’t replied.
Send chaser emails to those on that list.
Review these CVs and find me more appropriate people.
Shortlist the best 3.
Send them a pre-interview questionnaire. Be thorough.
Pick the best candidate.
Send me a transcript of the meeting.
Summarise the transcript for me.
Review the summary of the transcript and give me bullets of anything I need to be aware of.
Send some emails dealing with the bullets of the summary of the transcript of the meeting.
Book me a holiday. All inclusive. Mid-July. Average temperature mid-20s to low-30s. Flight time of less than 4 hours. Check my banking app and set a suitable budget.
Schedule a night out with lads. Send them invites.
Review the replies to the invites. Suggest a new time. Repeat.
Find a football squad for my son. Find archery lessons for my daughter. Suggest other activities my children would enjoy. Book them and schedule them in my diary. Email my wife and ask if she can take them and pick them up. Be persuasive.
Suggest some good talking points about football and archery. Suggest some podcasts they’d like. Tell me what they like. Look up my wedding anniversary and schedule flowers for my wife. Write something nice on the card.
Recommend a TV show that’s streaming that I’ll enjoy. Nothing new.Summarise the plot of the Twilight Zone episode Shatterday. Explain the ending to me.
Create a video of a beautiful sunset. Write a poem about it. Post both on my socials. Give me a weekly update on how my engagement is doing. Get me more engagement. Send me a summary of my top posts.
Write me a new CV. Highlight my recent accomplishments.
Find my jobs that match my skill set. Write tailored covering letters. Email.
Write me ten interview tips.
Make the covering letters better.
Find me a job.
Email my mortgage company, tell them about my changed circumstances and ask for a payment break.
Summarise the last three emails from the mortgage company.
Should I go to marriage-counselling? Do I have time?
Cancel my holiday. Argue for a full refund.
How do I contest custardy? What would a lawyer advise? Summarise that advice. Find a 1-bedroom property in my budget. Write a blog post about finding myself in middle-age. Post a link on my socials. Summarise engagement.
Write a letter that will make her want to come back. Email it to her. Be sincere.
Tell me what to do with all this free time.Tell me how I feel about this.
64614
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Happy birthday Henry Scampi!🎂🎉
000
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
There was a larger branch of Flip in Shoreditch, I used to love it.
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Tim Worthington @outonbluesix.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
The Golden Age Of Children's TV is currently an un-whopping ninety nine pence on Kindle! I really am quite proud of it and I think you'll enjoy it, especially at this price. If you've already ready it, why not share the link? Hint Hint. www.amazon.co.uk/Golden-Age-C...
amazon.co.uk
Amazon.co.uk
66248
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Give me the reason, Luther Vandross
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Mercy by Duffy
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Horrible ain't it.
000
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Lucy Gunner @lucyagunner.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
gofund.me/2a9275f3e Don't usually do this, but this is for a friend; this little 4 week old stray girl is blind but a fighter, if anyone has a spare £1 it would be massively appreciated - she now has a loving home 😻
gofund.me
Donate to Please help with Sid’s surgeries, organized by Nathan Wilson
Hi! Please meet Winx, aka Sid, aka Bubs. We found Winx in an alleyway. At only … Nathan Wilson needs your support for Please help with Sid’s surgeries
276
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
THREAD. A collection of excellent scarecrows I have met on walks in the countryside. You will find the all-important caption to each photo in the alt text.
A scarecrow who has just watched Monty Python's The Holy Grail for the first time.
27686204
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Don't you want me, Human League
020
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
Single Ladies, Beyonce
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
020
Reposted by Tortiegeist
arseblog @arseblog.com · 01/06/2026
Brilliant stuff from @aallensport.arseblog.com Please read and share, although it might make you cry in the back of a taxi like it did to me. 👇
1221222
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Every single one of them
000
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Poison by Alice Cooper
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Tim Stillman ⭐️⭐️ @tim-stillman.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
arseblog.com/2026/05/ive-...
arseblog.com
I've paid my dues
I am happy for my friends and family. Needless to say, Arsenal is a very strong thread that binds us. The club has been in my family for over 100 years- grandparents, parents, siblings, nieces and nep...
4736139
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
I picked a hell of a season to quit smoking! Massive thanks to you and your colleagues for helping to keep me sane
020
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Big fan of supply teacher Nik on the live blog!
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Thanks so much for the live blog, it was the only way I could stand to follow what was happening towards the end there!
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
And put the cannon the right way round.
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
"... saying I once heard which is applied to only the wisest and most venerated women in the continent of Japan, and actually also sometimes to those in neighbouring Africa. I won’t try to say it, as my Japanese is yet to reach the advanced level that I trust it one day will..."
Roscoe looking even more excellent, beside another, bigger window
1804
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Enough Of That Now @andygilder.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
"Make me, couchfucker"
0229
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Jessica Elgot @jessicaelgot.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
A lot has bothered me about the reporting of the Kanye West banned. Firstly how it has been framed as all about it the Jewish community - but we should all be against Nazism! This country fought Nazis. Songs called Heil Hitler should not just be for the Jewish community to object to. And secondly…
21714117
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Amy Lawrence @amylawrence.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Rocky. Loved and remembered always. Everyone who knew him adored him. If you didn’t know him I’m able to share a free to read article in his honour. Here are memories from his family and friends to celebrate what made him one of a kind. ❤️ www.nytimes.com/athletic/248...
nytimes.com
David Rocastle: The phenomenal person behind Arsenal’s perfect player (Gift Article)
Twenty years after David's death, his family and friends recall what made him such a special man and how it helped shape him as a player
818229
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Daniel Sugarman @danielsugarman.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
I'm compiling a handy thread of things that you really, REALLY should not say in response to this tweet. 1) "Has Matt Lucas said anything on Israel?" No, as it happens. But what if he had? Does that give you the right to try and goad a Jewish celeb in public & then upload your video to socials?
Some prick is crying about the fact that he harassed a Jewish celeb on the Underground 'for Palestine', uploaded it to social media *himself* and people rightly thought he was a piece of shit. And Politics JOE is giving him a platform to cry about it, because they're nobs too.
19917
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
Come on Eileen
030
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Congratulations!
000
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
All I wanna do, Sheryl Crow
020
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
Can't get this one!
100
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 14/01/2026
Shy Boy, Bananarama
020
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
That was lovely, thank you.
110
Reposted by Tortiegeist
David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
NATIVITY WITH MAGPIE: open.substack.com/pub/quantick...
open.substack.com
And Other (Christmas) Stories 5
One for sorrow...
8208
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
I had a brilliant little Saisho recorder around that time that I used to record gigs.
000
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
Straight Up, Paula Abdul
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Von Hitchofen ™⍼☈♅ 🛩👹😬 @vonhitchofen.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”
Four men in parkas forcing a furious polar bear into a cage.
293510947
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
THREAD. I love old Habitat catalogues & managed to get hold of all the 70s ones before they got v pricey & collectable. Flicking through them, I wondered: "What are the true stories of the lives of the people in these photos?" So I decided to write those stories. You'll find them in the alt text.
Serendipity Range (1971)
11.39am. Carol’s head felt like a fire in a neglected pedal bin. The vodka had been a mistake, the downers a larger one. There would be no chance of making it to her aunt’s luncheon now and all hope of a reconciliation would be gone. She picked up the novel she’d found by the bed, but it was no use: she couldn’t consume words in this state, much less those of wittering self-obsessed suburbanites. The smell of basic supermarket jam from the other side of the room caused her insides to churn. Which c*** had left it there? Another hour of meaningless, wasted life, never to be regained, trickled away from her. “This is not my house,” she finally realised.
413440
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Our Lips Are Sealed, the Go Gos
120
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
Poison Arrow, ABC
010
Reposted by Tortiegeist
Steve Williams @skillagesteve.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Getting ready for #totp
TV Go Home
12313
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
The sidewinder sleeps tonight, REM
020
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
Rock DJ, Robbie Williams
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
Club Tropicana, Wham
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
How soon is now, the Smiths
010
Tortiegeist @tortiegeist.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Blah blah Ginger blah blah blah Ginger (at the time I had a dog called Ginger who looked like the cartoon dog and almost died laughing).
020