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Timmy Metzner

@timmymetzner.bsky.social
2K followers 862 following 692 posts

I been working at the DQ for eight months? Seven? I dunno, something like that, it’s fun Washington, DC

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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
a trend I’m enjoying so much
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Happy Jenny from the Blocktober to you!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I’m in Portland, OR for work this week. Would love restaurant recommendations!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Fully adhere to the millennial stereotype that big purchases MUST be made on big computer
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
b̶e̶h̶i̶n̶d̶ every gay man IS a talking bird
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the influx of hot gay meteorologists at local affiliates must be studied
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Bout to absolutely kill the vibe at Showtunes around the piano
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Hacked by a moth.
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
It me
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Trillion dollar idea: zip line from Provincetown monument to boy beach
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
please don’t make fun of my cannon
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
the volume of hot shirtless men just walking around downtown in Charleston is staggering
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
gay guy music video nights in 2028 will just show all 80 minutes of “Oh, Mary!”
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
concert archives said “I know what you are”
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
This is so Sherie Rene Scott as Ursula-coded
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Don[ny]ovan @dgschell.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I really did!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
the Chicago gays are all heading to the beach while we head to O’Hare
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
second time ******* *** with these guys was so great!!!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
the light on the chicago architecture center river tour today >>>>
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Dick card?!?! Literally any excuse, huh? (complimentary)
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
time for an apology tour* *texting friends I hung out with last night to make sure they had fun and don’t hate me forever
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Jon Aldric-or-treat @viennabeef.social · 27/08/2026

iOS Notification of a New York Times Opinion headline:

We're living in a new era of class-based violence. History points to a way out.Illustration of some guys using guillotines
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
well fuck
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
2024 - Chappell Roan 2026 - Slayyyter 2028 - Bonnie McKee 2030 - Allie X
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
it was an eight meeting day
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
long form investigative reporting on the boats docked in the background of every pic posted of boy beach
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Credentials, Dan @dancredentials.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Me, nodding knowingly: The beaks.
Headline of paleontology news article: Crocodiles can't fly. Birds can. Scientists have finally figured out why
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
well!
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🐈‍⬛🌙 @lune.monster · 13/08/2026
Stole this from the comments because this shit shouldn't be behind a paywall.
Crucially, the GLOVE has limitations, chief among them that for the device to work effectively and deliver its restraining pain shock, it must come into contact with the subject's bare skin. According to Compliant Technologies, the gloves won't work through dry clothing or thick hair. The gloves will work, however, if the subject is wearing thin, wet clothing, such as soaked T-shirts or blouses. The GLOVE also does not like being dunked in water and will likely be rendered inoperable if this happens.
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
In life, one has to face a HUGE assortment of nauseating fads and good advice
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
The Hot Ones but it’s slices of carrot cake with increasingly sweet cream cheese frosting
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Things at w*rk are quite bad so sometimes I say to myself “it’s 8am and have to go hell job at sara lee” and it helps the tiniest bit
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
the bots are thirsty 2day
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Zach Margolis @zach.margolis.club · 04/08/2026
summoning circle, hope this works
Street in with five orange cones closely marking a the word STOP painted on the ground
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8 Matts in a Duffel Bag @scratchbomb.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
i’m never gonna be able to fire a cruise missile yet the question of using my tax dollars for them has never been up for debate
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
M M, flip it around WICKER WANG!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
the paparazzi caught me tourmaxxxing
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B0YKSSR @zachwell.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
They should invent a sleep that is restful.
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Gay SAT question™️ It’s gay guy music video night. Which of these does’t belong: a) Ke$ha - Joyride (fan/meme edit) b) Katrina Lenk - Omar Sharif (2017 Tony Awards) c) SNL - Shonda & Vonda d) Carrie Coon - The White Lotus (finale monologue) e) Beyoncé - Diva/Everybody Mad (Homecoming Live 2019)
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
upgraded the 💅
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
we as greys are allowed to be tedious
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
my hair has been a social experiment. thank you for participating.
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Keke Palmer Oh Mary!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Give me a Slay, Jamie! Bring back the Boots Hang them back on the Doll…
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
the republican senate:
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Ranch Devereaux @thejacko.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
If you’re waiting for another evil old republican to die, stay in line!
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
the World Cup players and me have much in common, always trying to find a h[..lightning strikes, killing me instantly]
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Max Berger @maxberger.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
That’s what happens when you get rid of the department of defense
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Kevin Atkinson @ikeatkinson.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Ya know fuck Donald Trump for ruining the USMNT’s World Cup run. It’s clear he was the problem
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Timmy Metzner @timmymetzner.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
you’re telling me the WORLD has worn this cup?
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