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Charlie

@theuptownfive.bsky.social
394 followers 475 following 7.1K posts

Like water, good and clean From the most fucked up looking pipe you’ve ever seen

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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 5h
The Braves' reds are beautiful.
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juan barquin @woahitsjuanito.bsky.social · 8h
michael mcdonald after seeing the paternity test results
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Hillary Monahan @hillarymonahan.bsky.social · 12h
If the argument for women should know better than to go into a rape den like a frat house, explain to me why a rape house like a fraternity is allowed to exist at all.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 12h
Still vibing from the guy who let out a big WOOO when Ryan Davis hit the line about the jukebox stuck on Sultans of Swing.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 12h
It doesn't need to be 86 degrees today. It's October.
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Ryan H. Walsh @ryanhwalsh.bsky.social · 15h
The Natural Bridge came out 30 years ago today. 10 years ago, while David Berman was still us, I put together the unusual, intense story of how it came together for @stereogum.com. stereogum.com/1902185/the-...
stereogum.com
The Untold Story Of Silver Jews' The Natural Bridge: How David Berman Lost His Mind, Left Pavement Behind, And Made A Masterpiece
It starts with a line you might yell at an ex across an empty, half-lit parking lot around midnight: “I don’t really wanna die/ I only wanna die in your eyes.” But here it’s not hollered, it’s sung, a...
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Jim Margalus @soxmachine.com · 14h
The postseason seems to inspire a desperate form of baseball the White Sox have been practicing for six months.

There's an Onion story from the Great Recession about whether T.J. Maxx was in a downward spiral or conducting business as usual, which I've thought about the last couple of days.

“The state of this store does not in any way correspond to our standard criteria for judging long-term viability,” said economist Graham Stinson, referring to Chicago’s Fullerton Avenue branch, where more than half of the fluorescent lights are burnt out. “For instance, the canvas bins heaped with broken stemware in aisle six may be a sign that T.J. Maxx is on the verge of complete bankruptcy. Either that, or it’s doing perfectly fine. It’s impossible to say which.”

When the Phillies call upon their closer in the seventh inning, desperation hangs in the air. When Houston has to play its two most battle-tested veterans at defensive positions, it's the sign of an impending identity crisis. When the Red Sox cut short Wild Card Series starts out of deference to the Times Through the Order Penalty even though those starters will end up getting Cy Young votes, it reveals a major rift between the clubhouse and the decision-makers.

Meanwhile, when Venable uses a rookie lefty in Game 1 to cover the first inning or two -- hell, make it three -- then calls upon his best bullpen arm to handle the final seven outs despite what ends up being the highest pitch count of his relief career relief, it's just a Tuesday.
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 15h
Look how cool these stances are.
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Will Ojanen @willsworldmn.bsky.social · 19h
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 17h
music.apple.com
Free From the Guillotine by Ryan Davis & the Roadhouse Band on Apple Music
Song · 2023 · Duration 8:22
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Hannah Bowman @hannahnpbowman.com · 01/10/2026
End the death penalty. End it now. There is no reason for it, never.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 18h
10/10
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mtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The reality is that there is no non-violent way to non-consensually end a healthy human being's life. The effort spent to fool death penalty advocates into thinking they are participating in something clean and surgical makes an already barbaric spectacle disgustingly hypocritical as well.
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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 23h
September 30 // October 1
achewood's ray smuckles admonishes little nephew for dressing as a goth: "Listen here now, little mister! You aint' gettin NO pizza so long as you walkin' around lookin' like Gay KISS!"Ray Smuckles in goth garb presses a button on his skull codpiece, which makes it utter the words "BELA... LUGOSI'S... DEAD..."
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I liked him.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Any night I can tell multiple people about State Champion is a good one.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Just how I drew it up. I kept waiting for Vargas to have his moment and it never came.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Mood. Sure, it’s just the Wild Card but this is only the second season since I became a fan that the Sox have won a playoff series and I’ve been on since ‘94.
Go ahead Chase
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The quote alone paints Burke as a hardcore baseball meatball, but he comes across in White Sox social as relaxed and funny -- a nice guy.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Wut
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Jaws (1975) @jaws-1975.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Opening the beaches on the Fourth of July is like ringing the dinner bell.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Borat voice, watching the Yankees score update on my watch: this is Rice?
youtu.be
Borat goes cheese shopping
YouTube video by K41ght
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
There is no such thing as art without a human on one end of the line and a human on the other end. In communication with each other.
A city that exists
There is no such thing as art without a human on one end of the line and a human on the other end. In communication with each other. Like a closed electric circuit (?) I could explain that better but I spent my life appreciating art. There are pieces of writing that stand on their own without any supplementary information but there's a reason that when we read a classic poem or short story we usually soon after want to know when and where and under which conditions it was written. Same with music. You can hear a song you like and appreciate it knowing little but the first question people often ask when you play them something by a new band is where are they from? It’s funny that you should ask because they are from a city that exists. Art is a conversation where the particulars of the world are made universal and the universal is made particular. Think about how powerful an engine of imagination it is for a young person hearing a band and learning that they are from some far off place – Tokyo or New York or even somewhere gross like the UK. It is a time portal. It is magic. It even works if the artist dead. So too with a painting. The little information plaque in the museum is an extraordinarily powerful tool. What if it said no one painted this nowhere? Well then you’d be looking at nothing. And now what would you be?
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
ParentSquare notifications increased from three to four while I was standing here holding my phone thinking about if I have the energy to engage with ParentSquare right now.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I keep thinking about this because personalization works against how art functions -- like, sometimes there will be work, even very good work, that is not your shit! You react against it. And that reaction hones knowledge and taste and experience. Art that hits conveys the experiences of the artist.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I keep coming back to wondering what the hypothetical people in this kind of example are going to do with the time they save not doing things (browsing art, preparing menus for a family) that can make it rewarding to be human. More time to work?
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
When you’re not joking but are trying to sell something …
When you’re not joking but are trying to sell something.
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Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Only one man could have solved this
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Hagen Smith going out there as a rookie and throwing three shutout innings and getting Yordan Alvarez twice has me amped.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Alright time to close up this glass case of emotion. Go Sox.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Reminded today that the 2021 series against Houston wasn't fun at all -- they beat our ass badly in three of four -- and that's probably a lot of my nerves about this game. That and the season series going 5-2 Houston. And me being me.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
WTJU could play this Miles's First Quintet / Trane's Classic Quartet show all day if they wanted to ... with a break for my homie's Jeff Parker show this afternoon, sure.
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I literally don’t know a single woman who hasn’t been raped, stalked, groped, harassed, or sexually violated in some way at some point in their life. If you choose to doubt and dox survivors, just know every woman in your life is disgusted by you.
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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
bluesky does not seem to really be talking about this but today Stevie Wonder unleased 4 songs that didn't make "Songs in the Key of Life." music.youtube.com/playlist?lis...
music.youtube.com
Songs In The Key Of Life - The EP
EP • Stevie Wonder
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This will be a time for sure.
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Howard Beck @howardbeck.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Mo Wagner just became my favorite Net.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Play-off base-ball *clap clap clapclapclap*
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i dont know anything about this college sports bill but im assuming its an attempt to bring young minorities to heel while doing nothing to reel in the excesses of the rich, powerful, overwhelmingly white executives making 7 figures?
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Black.Metronome 🇧🇧 🇧🇲 @blackmetronome.blacksky.app · 29/09/2026
This bill is anti labor. The college athletes need to form a union immediately and stop playing in these games that generate millions in revenue. Also, fuck Deion Sanders. He waited til his sons profited off of NILs and left college to support this. He's a snake just like the rest of these 🦝s
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Hopefully the White Sox's vibe is better than the vibe of the people in the Sox Machine comments section taking Venable to task for a.) using an an opener and b.) using Hagen Smith as the opener.
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NE Ohio Regional Sewer District @neorsd.org · 29/09/2026
bold and wildly inexplicable photo choice here
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A good guy.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I just split wood for 40 minutes and it was immensely more satisfying than 8 hours of my job.
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ceeks @ceeks.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
abc you got me all wrong
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samuelwa.de @samuelwa.de · 28/09/2026
My “Involved in Human Trafficking“ shirt has a lot of people asking questions that are making me want to stop wearing my shirt rather than reconsider my involvement in human trafficking
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Joey Chestnut won a pancake eating competition like fifteen minutes from my parents' house this weekend.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Not here for Ray Ratto throwing shade at the White Sox making the playoffs when this season's been so much more than it was projected to be.
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Charlie @theuptownfive.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
happy WTJU Jazz Marathon week to all who celebrate
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Ryan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.
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The Museum of English Rural Life (MERL) @themerl.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
never skip leg day
An oil painting of a giant white ox, with a massive body and extremely tiny legs. He stands solemnly in a field beneath a moody sky, as if presiding over some kind battle.
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