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The Crypt Keeper

@thecryptkeeper.bsky.social
636 followers 993 following 297 posts

Hello BOILS and GHOULS! It's me, your GHOST with the most. The master of SCARE-emonies. Your creepy cadaver with tons of swagger. Follow the Cryptkeeper for putrid puns and a WICKED good time. I FOUL-low back. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!

PostsRepliesMedia
The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
This country needs new BLEEDership. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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Happy thoughts make you fly. @i-zelle.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
The Crypt Keeper has better skin, more charisma and people actually want to spend time with him.
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
I'm afraid I can only give this one a 9 out of 10. He missed a perfect opportunity to call it a KanGHOUL! AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHE
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Baby Boy Monaghan @babyboymonaghan.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
The Crypt Keeper: (wearing a backwards Kangol) You’ve got to FRIGHT for your RIGHT to part-FLEE AH HA HA HA HEE HA HEE
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Who isn't a fan of the BEASTie BOILS? AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
We just call that a "CORPSEplayer" AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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Mutton the Dragon @muttonthedragon.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Dumb D&D idea: players find a note with faded letters, but it looks like they can find vast amounts of treasure in the “Crypt Keeper’s Tomb.” They arrive find an undead obsessing over worthless copies of valuable trinkets, and learn the undead’s true title: The Crypto Keeper
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Matt Kulp @dadpool79.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
In my Cryptkeeper voice, I call this tale of devilish delight "Ghouls night out." Cryptkeeperlaugh
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
bsky.app/profile/thec...
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Lady Reezy (aka Azúcar Blanca) @ladyreezy.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Would have also accepted carcass copying, your dead majesty.
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Love it? I ABHOR it! AH-HAHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Please, Cryptie is just fine. I'm just a regular Joe-schmo, not a descendant of BOILty.
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
That's what happens when you start HORRORmone replacement therapy. AH-HEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Thanks for COFFIN copying me on that one! AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Got cryptkeeper dysphoria, born a boy but I transitioned to a ghoul yeeheeeheeheeheee
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The Blue Butterflies Resistance Brigade #102 @mememansion.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Well the Cryptkeeper is Definately sexier Than Steven KILLER..oops... Miller.
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james folta @jamesfolta.com · 31/05/2025
The phrase "emerging writer" makes me think you're rising out of a swamp to enact an ancient vengeance on the town folk
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
And the phrase "HEMORRHAGING writer" makes me think you're one of their victims. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
And you could, too!
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie. Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership. I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet. AH-HEHEHEHEHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
I'm always happy to FRIGHTEN someone's day with my whimsical witticisms. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
I've had many careers. I've been an apiarist, a soccer goalie, and an accountant. I even cleaned hotel rooms, at one point. Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife. AH-HEHEHAHAHA
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mike huguenor @mikehuguenor.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Thank you for the subskeet, Crypt Keeper! Big fan of your unflappable humor and raw sexuality!
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
I'd call that episode The Tell-Tale HARLOT AH-HAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
"MUMMY always said life was like a box of SHOCKolates." - FEARest Gump AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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tiffAH! Real Monster @bakedpotiffa.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
It’s Saturday! Post a cartoon series that you love. 📺🖤
Tales from the Cryptkeeper
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
I like to call it LOST WAGES! AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
media.tenor.com
a man in a bow tie is talking about lost wages
Alt: a man in a bow tie is talking about lost wages
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Glenn Fleishman @glennf.com · 31/05/2025
@darthbluesky.bsky.social “In the northwest corner of Washington State on Friday morning, the authorities issued a most unusual all-points bulletin, rather, an A.P.Bee.” www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/u...
nytimes.com
250 Million Honeybees Escape After a Truck Rolls Over in Washington State
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The Blue Butterflies Resistance Brigade #102 @mememansion.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Oh you evil ghoul!! Don't ruin my gond child time memories of you and classics like The Mummy Never Sleeps!? Also Pretty good
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
And you could, too!
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
Unlike that prima donna poltergeist, Beetlejuice, you only have to utter my name once.
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ManWithPez @manwithpez.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
#CryptStatic
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
I've had many careers. I've been an apiarist, a soccer goalie, and an accountant. I even cleaned hotel rooms, at one point. Law keeping was only a small portion of my afterlife. AH-HEHEHAHAHA
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mike huguenor @mikehuguenor.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
This hip young investor just wised me up about a whole Crypt O' Currency
Cryptocurrency icon The Cryptkeeper
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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
get pissed on you dead bitch
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Anagram Doe @anagramdoe.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
the cryptkeeper is capable of laughter
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
Nothing tickles my funny BONE like a CLEAVER little SLAY on words. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
*AH-HEM* bsky.app/profile/thec...
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mike huguenor @mikehuguenor.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
I'm being told it's a "bloody good" deal and that I'd "beheaded" in the wrong direction if I didn't invest
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ManWithPez @manwithpez.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
"See to the crypt, will you. And feed the Crypt Keeper. He's getting all bite-y again." #hyrcrew #CryptStatic
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
When I saw what it took to get a body like Arnold's, I decided it would be easier to just take one from the morgue. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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Matthew @madaram.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
I’ve gotten hold of the old Tales from the Crypt series and I’m starting them from the beginning 🍿
Artwork for tales from the crypt. A decaying face wearing a tuxedo with yellow text saying ‘tales from the crypt’
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Rob L. White (‘Cuddle’ Short Film OUT NOW!!) @therlwrites.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
I don’t have 2 wolves inside me I have these two …
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
I'd probably tell him I'm an ABHORRING fan of his graphic novels and to CREEP up the good work. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
If I were in charge of the HEXuctive branch, you would see true BLEEDership. I could never run, though. There are too many SKELETONS in my closet. AH-HEHEHEHEHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
Trying to do my job? I'm not sure you could HACK it. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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ManWithPez @manwithpez.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
Wha-huh?! Who the hell is THIS now!? I said The Crypt Keeper! Not some ol... ...what's that? ...no shit?! Explain this, @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social !😆 #CryptStatic #TalesFromtheCrypt #TheCryptKeeper
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
You have to understand that this was our first shot at the silver SCREAM. The DIErector was DEADset on casting Ralph RichardSIN and I was just thrilled to DEATH at the thought of making a movie. Besides, the movie filmed in the UK and, at the time, I didn't have a PASSEDport. AH-HEHEHEHAHAHAHA
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The Crypt Keeper @thecryptkeeper.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
Ah-hem bsky.app/profile/thec...
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